Help meeee.

[Melissa16]

A couple weeks ago I found out I was pregnant, I'm 16 and my mom already raises my sisters baby because she's a heroin addict and can't take care of her. I just want some advice, some guidance. I feel like ill never be able to do anything a teenager wants to do like road trips or party's. I just want to know if its beyond hard to do on your own. I'm terrified. :/

 

[jozylynn896]

It is hard,, but definatley not impossible. I thought it was the end of my world but my son is the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade him for any party or road trip!

My name is Kristina, I'm 16 and my son is Noah, he's two months today!

 

[jozylynn896]

Ooooh, and congratulations!!!!

 

[Melissa16]

But the thing is I'm not excited I'm scared I don't know what to do. Hat if I don't get that motherly feeling? I see 16 year olds who are happy to be pregnant and I'm not so I feel like I'm not gonna love my child like a mother does ya know?

 

[MummyMana]

You'll be fine, it takes time having a baby isn't as hard as people think, it can be trying and tiring and frustrating at times, but the baby stage doesn't last forever! You'll get much more love and enjoyment and satisfaction and sense of purpose from your child than you will tears and sleepless nights. Everyone worries whether they'll get that maternal instinct, but don't worry, its hard wired into us also your own baby is completely different to other people's babies. It won't just be "a baby" it'll be your baby congratulations and good luck!

 

[Melissa16]

That helped a lot thank you!

 

[jozylynn896]

I felt the same way and I didn't love him completely until he was about 2 weekd old. But I promise it will come ti you!

 

[MummyMana]

Glad to help

 

[octosquishy]

But the thing is I'm not excited I'm scared I don't know what to do. Hat if I don't get that motherly feeling? I see 16 year olds who are happy to be pregnant and I'm not so I feel like I'm not gonna love my child like a mother does ya know?

Trust me, I was the same way. The worst part is that my son was planned, we were trying. Then I just got depressed. I wished for a miscarriage, that's how bad it was. I just did NOT want him.
Then he got here. And I wasn't super crazy about him then, either.
It took about a month or two, then I was in love I am totally smitten by him now, there's no way that you won't be eventually, either.

And trust me,
everybody who says that parenting is hard? Is full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. House breaking a dog is harder than taking care of a baby, lol.

 

[missl1]

congratulations hun it comes to you naturally when you see the baby on the scan it makes your heart melt there aint nothing better xx

 

[magic93]

Congrats hun & dont worry so much once your baby is here you will jus know what to do and youll get to know his/her personality. your feelings will change trust me

 

[17pregnant]

Congrats I know exactly how you feel, and i'm still feeling it now. It's really hard to know what your future has in front of you, and it's really hard to predict how your going to feel. But everyone has said there is nothing like the feelings you have towards your child. I'm always here to talk if you need My name is Evita, i'm 18 and 21+5 with my son x

 

[MommyGrim]

I know how you feel! I was 16 when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was scared and alone (her father left me a month before I found out) Once I saw her on the ultrasound I was in love! By the time she was 6 months me and her father worked out our issues and recently got engaged! You really can do it! Even if you don't think you can. Every mother bonds differently with their baby, some do it while they're pregnant, some do it after baby's already there. All of it is normal and it doesn't mean that you'll be any less of a good mom! The ladies here are also a HUGE support, they really got me through some rough times!

 

[fieryphoenix]

And trust me,
everybody who says that parenting is hard? Is full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. House breaking a dog is harder than taking care of a baby, lol.

Wow. This is the most ignorant thing. Housebreaking a dog takes four-six weeks. If you suck at training. Parenting is a 24-7 job, for the next 18 years. It's a huge responsibility, not to be undertaken lightly.

IMO if its comparable to you, you are doing something wrong...

 

[kailynn]

Congratulations! Pregnancy comes as a shock to everyone whether it was planned or unexpected, you will become more accepting of the idea as the days pass. It is normal to be in shock and to be scared, a million things run through your head, but I can promise you it will get better! It's a life changing experience, but many girls your age and younger do it everyday. No one ever said they wished they would have spent less time with their child. I want to wish you a happy & healthy 9 months.

By the way, I'm Kaleigh, 20, and 16 +5 with our first!

 

[octosquishy]

And trust me,
everybody who says that parenting is hard? Is full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. House breaking a dog is harder than taking care of a baby, lol.

Wow. This is the most ignorant thing. Housebreaking a dog takes four-six weeks. If you suck at training. Parenting is a 24-7 job, for the next 18 years. It's a huge responsibility, not to be undertaken lightly.

IMO if its comparable to you, you are doing something wrong...

Well, actually, before you start judging, maybe look at the age of my child (15 months, And the fact I'm pregnant again?) and the age of your child (4 months I see?). I have maybe a little bit more experience than you do. Maybe you're over complicating it? Lots of new parents do. The first 3 moths are actually easier than the rest, so if you think it's hard now, be prepared. Just wait until they're a little bit over a year, that's when the terrible two's kick in. I feel very bad for you if you're having a rough go of it already when the baby can't even crawl yet.

It's a responsibility, but seriously, it's not hard. At all. It's all common sense. "Don't put soda in the baby's bottle instead of milk. The baby has no teeth, she can't chew steak. It's been an hour, the baby's probably peed by now.." It's not rocket science. (Special Needs babies aside). And yes, babies DO come with a manual. It's called What To Expect the First Year , most WIC offices sell them.

The hardest part of having a baby is having to give up the things you used to love to do, and get used to waking up every few hours. That's it.

Don't make everything so hard and complicated when you have a child. Just chill out and go with the flow (Easier said than done sometimes, I'm aware) but it's pretty hard to break a baby lol. Your child will be fine for a few hours in the sling while you do some housework, or even in the baby swing. Your kid's brain won't rot out if you let them watch one episode of Sesame Street a day.

It's not about being the "World's Best Mom" (Whatever image you want to portray with that) , it's about loving your baby, and doing your best. And that's all there is to it. Your child will lead you in the parenting process.

And to the OP; it's people like this poster who give us a bad impression of motherhood, and trust me, I was 17 and I was pretty much going at it alone and my kid's turned out fine, and I went by the just go with the flow thing

 

[MommyGrim]

And trust me,
everybody who says that parenting is hard? Is full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. House breaking a dog is harder than taking care of a baby, lol.

Wow. This is the most ignorant thing. Housebreaking a dog takes four-six weeks. If you suck at training. Parenting is a 24-7 job, for the next 18 years. It's a huge responsibility, not to be undertaken lightly.

IMO if its comparable to you, you are doing something wrong...

Well, actually, before you start judging, maybe look at the age of my child (15 months, And the fact I'm pregnant again?) and the age of your child (4 months I see?). I have maybe a little bit more experience than you do. Maybe you're over complicating it? Lots of new parents do. The first 3 moths are actually easier than the rest, so if you think it's hard now, be prepared. Just wait until they're a little bit over a year, that's when the terrible two's kick in. I feel very bad for you if you're having a rough go of it already when the baby can't even crawl yet.

It's a responsibility, but seriously, it's not hard. At all. It's all common sense. "Don't put soda in the baby's bottle instead of milk. The baby has no teeth, she can't chew steak. It's been an hour, the baby's probably peed by now.." It's not rocket science. (Special Needs babies aside). And yes, babies DO come with a manual. It's called What To Expect the First Year , most WIC offices sell them.

The hardest part of having a baby is having to give up the things you used to love to do, and get used to waking up every few hours. That's it.

Don't make everything so hard and complicated when you have a child. Just chill out and go with the flow (Easier said than done sometimes, I'm aware) but it's pretty hard to break a baby lol. Your child will be fine for a few hours in the sling while you do some housework, or even in the baby swing. Your kid's brain won't rot out if you let them watch one episode of Sesame Street a day.

It's not about being the "World's Best Mom" (Whatever image you want to portray with that) , it's about loving your baby, and doing your best. And that's all there is to it. Your child will lead you in the parenting process.

And to the OP; it's people like this poster who give us a bad impression of motherhood, and trust me, I was 17 and I was pretty much going at it alone and my kid's turned out fine, and I went by the just go with the flow thing

Um...I'm going to have to disagree with you. My daughters first year was literally hell. I had a child who never slept (was up every single hour on the hour), constantly cried and for the most part refused to eat. I had to deal with that alone...since me and my OH weren't together at the time and even if we were he was 3 hours away at college. As a mom who has an (almost) 3 year old now, the terrible two's are a cake walk compared to her first year. Hell, even going through them now, whilst pregnant with twins and constantly sick is 10x better than when she was that young.
Every child is different. While you may have a great child who wasn't difficult when they were a baby that doesn't mean that everyone is that lucky. It's quite offensive to say that those of us who had a lot of trouble 'over complicated it' when we were doing literally all we could to make our children happy. Not to mention that not every mom gets a maternal instinct, which makes it even more hard.

 

[jozylynn896]

I think she's just trying to not scare the shit out if this girl.

 

[jozylynn896]

Noahs two months old and yeah, it is hard but its not like it stays hard forever. So far, Noahs a breeze. Hard, but it comes naturally. As a mom it comes naturally. Or at least it should.

 

[MommyGrim]

I think she's just trying to not scare the shit out if this girl.

Setting unreal expectations aren't really the way to go though, imo. The OP may have a wonderful newborn, and I really hope she does; I hope everyone does, tbf, but that's unrealistic. It's the most likely that she'll have a baby that gets up every two hours to eat and cries relatively frequently. And there is nothing wrong with that. To tell her having a baby is easy is, imo, setting her up for a shock, and a bad one at that.

To the OP: I'm sorry if my post seemed horrific, looking back it did to me so I'm pretty sure it would to you. While I did have issues with my daughter, and while her first year was a nightmare for me (she's an angel now though ) I still wouldn't change a thing. There is an undying love that takes over you once you see them, one you hear their heartbeat, once they're born, or even a few weeks after they're born, but it will happen and it will get you through any hardships you will face. I promise. Being a parent is hard, but that doesn't mean it's always hard. I'm sorry if my post was frightening.