Help meeee.

[octosquishy]

And trust me,
everybody who says that parenting is hard? Is full of shit. Absolutely full of shit. House breaking a dog is harder than taking care of a baby, lol.

Wow. This is the most ignorant thing. Housebreaking a dog takes four-six weeks. If you suck at training. Parenting is a 24-7 job, for the next 18 years. It's a huge responsibility, not to be undertaken lightly.

IMO if its comparable to you, you are doing something wrong...

Well, actually, before you start judging, maybe look at the age of my child (15 months, And the fact I'm pregnant again?) and the age of your child (4 months I see?). I have maybe a little bit more experience than you do. Maybe you're over complicating it? Lots of new parents do. The first 3 moths are actually easier than the rest, so if you think it's hard now, be prepared. Just wait until they're a little bit over a year, that's when the terrible two's kick in. I feel very bad for you if you're having a rough go of it already when the baby can't even crawl yet.

It's a responsibility, but seriously, it's not hard. At all. It's all common sense. "Don't put soda in the baby's bottle instead of milk. The baby has no teeth, she can't chew steak. It's been an hour, the baby's probably peed by now.." It's not rocket science. (Special Needs babies aside). And yes, babies DO come with a manual. It's called What To Expect the First Year , most WIC offices sell them.

The hardest part of having a baby is having to give up the things you used to love to do, and get used to waking up every few hours. That's it.

Don't make everything so hard and complicated when you have a child. Just chill out and go with the flow (Easier said than done sometimes, I'm aware) but it's pretty hard to break a baby lol. Your child will be fine for a few hours in the sling while you do some housework, or even in the baby swing. Your kid's brain won't rot out if you let them watch one episode of Sesame Street a day.

It's not about being the "World's Best Mom" (Whatever image you want to portray with that) , it's about loving your baby, and doing your best. And that's all there is to it. Your child will lead you in the parenting process.

And to the OP; it's people like this poster who give us a bad impression of motherhood, and trust me, I was 17 and I was pretty much going at it alone and my kid's turned out fine, and I went by the just go with the flow thing

Um...I'm going to have to disagree with you. My daughters first year was literally hell. I had a child who never slept (was up every single hour on the hour), constantly cried and for the most part refused to eat. I had to deal with that alone...since me and my OH weren't together at the time and even if we were he was 3 hours away at college. As a mom who has an (almost) 3 year old now, the terrible two's are a cake walk compared to her first year. Hell, even going through them now, whilst pregnant with twins and constantly sick is 10x better than when she was that young.
Every child is different. While you may have a great child who wasn't difficult when they were a baby that doesn't mean that everyone is that lucky. It's quite offensive to say that those of us who had a lot of trouble 'over complicated it' when we were doing literally all we could to make our children happy. Not to mention that not every mom gets a maternal instinct, which makes it even more hard.

I'm sorry that you had such a rough first year, your baby sounds like she had colic, which is what I consider a special need...What professionals consider a special need.
Every child is different, but in 3/4 of children, you don't need to expect the worst. That is all that I am saying. Not every child is a little hellion, not every child is special needs and needs your attention 24/7 , just because you're having a rough go of it doesn't mean that this new mom will, nor should she expect to. That's not another thing to pile on to a new mom, especially a new teen mom with no support.

I wasn't trying to make this an argument in the least, I was trying to encourage a new mom, with words I wish had been told to me, that the worrying I did every night was all for nothing, that I shouldn't be worried.
But when somebody else, especially a new mom, tries to insult my parenting, it's on like donkey kong. Just between you and me (ha ha) she's about to be reported for harassment anyway (It's not just this thread. Seems to me like she's just pissed and taking it out on the world)

 

[Wobbles]

Could we stop the petty arguments now ladies If you find you clash with another member ignore and move on ...

I don't think telling members they are full of shit is appropriate at all. Parenting does come with challenging and harder days... it's the best challenge I have ever experienced though and every moment is worth it being the point!

OP you will feel those motherly instincts and you can do it, despite what I said above every day is filled with love one you will never feel elsewhere else (imo), bonding will happen whist still expecting when you feel those first kicks and hiccups good luck although I am sure you don't need it. Life doesn't end here, my cousin was 16 she is an amazing Mum with a fabulous career in front of her (studying hard right now) and she does love/enjoy life.

 

[octosquishy]

I think she's just trying to not scare the shit out if this girl.

Setting unreal expectations aren't really the way to go though, imo. The OP may have a wonderful newborn, and I really hope she does; I hope everyone does, tbf, but that's unrealistic. It's the most likely that she'll have a baby that gets up every two hours to eat and cries relatively frequently. And there is nothing wrong with that. To tell her having a baby is easy is, imo, setting her up for a shock, and a bad one at that.

To the OP: I'm sorry if my post seemed horrific, looking back it did to me so I'm pretty sure it would to you. While I did have issues with my daughter, and while her first year was a nightmare for me (she's an angel now though ) I still wouldn't change a thing. There is an undying love that takes over you once you see them, one you hear their heartbeat, once they're born, or even a few weeks after they're born, but it will happen and it will get you through any hardships you will face. I promise. Being a parent is hard, but that doesn't mean it's always hard. I'm sorry if my post was frightening.

That is actually what I was talking about easy. Getting up every 2-3 hours at night is the easy part. And yes, they cry. All they do is eat, sleep, poop and cry, relatively. And that's the easy part. I'd give anything for Isiah to still be in that period as opposed to his constant whining and tantrum throwing.
It's not setting her up for shock, it's setting her up for reality.

I don't know how many people told me their horror stories and acted as if I was a dumpster for their problems while I was pregnant (Get that epidural you don't want to feel yourself tear I wish I would have, if you have a c-section you'll never be the same, etc.)
NO new mom needs to be a dumping ground for ANYBODY'S baby problems, that's traumatic.

All she needs is to be told what to expect...And that's pretty much nothing hard. Loss of sleep and loss of being able to go out all the time...and that's it lol.

EDIT : And yes, Admin, I'm done ;P

 

[Wobbles]

Thank you

 

[youngone]

Have you considered adoption? it's an option. It's a beautiful thing to do for someone... Just an option- no hate, people!!

 

[x__amour]

Congratulations! I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy. You be terrified now but you and your life will adjust and you will be just as happy as before.

 

[jozylynn896]

Well all arguments aside, being a mom is a wonderful thing. Its hard, byt worth every moment. And it is scary, yeah. Its the scariest thing in the world! But trust me when you see a little innocent person smiling at you, laughing, sleeping, playing, its amazing. Absolutely amazing!
Everybody's baby is different.
Its not hard to make a bottle, ots not hard to change a diaper. But it is hard to do on little to no sleep! But babies have phases. Noah was up every two hours not wanting, but DEMANDING a bottle haha. But now he sleeps through the night like a little angel. And its hard getting up in the morning taking care of him, going to school, coming home, taking care of him.. but I guess what I'm trying to say is it's all worth it. I don't think any one will disagree with that
Also I'm sorry to have offended any one? Juat this girl is terrified and I'm pretty sure the last thing that she wants to hear is how absolutely terribly hard it is!
Good luck! You'll enjoy your son or daughter more than any thing.