Help... toilet training

[Kandidancer]

My daughter will be 3 at Christmas and she's set to start nursery in the New Year. She has to be toilet trained to go to nursery. My issue is using the toilet. She will wear her knickers happily abc even sit on the toilet. But she has only ever had 2 wee wees on it. She refuses the potty. If I leave her in her knickers she will hold her urine. I'm not sure what to do, my mum has her on a Monday and she will get her to wear knickers. My boyfriends parents have her on a Tuesday ( they tell her she must NOT wee her pants😡😡😡&#128545. I think this had led to her being scared. And mi other half has her weds and he just gives in to her all the time. So I only have a few days to try and sort things before I go back to work. Sorry about the long post but I just need help/ advice please. I've done sticker charts too xx

 

[Teri7489]

Potty training for us was done in 3 days. I simply gave my daughter her potty (and put a big sticker on it that had her name) and told her no more nappies. We had a few days of being a little tearful but then made a big deal about her even sitting on it. One pee was lots of cuddles and well done's, lots of tickles and generally making it a fun light hearted thing. Kids can get quite scared when they are being made to do something they are unsure of so knowing you are relaxed about it will help. She will have accidents, she will be too distracted to go to the potty and have accidents but you need to help her through it. Gradually reduce praise for using it and eventually it becomes the normal. My daughter likes to help empty her potty then wash her hands so we put that in to it. She was so proud of doing a pee/poo in the potty that she wanted to show it off lol. It will happen, you just need to be firm but relaxed about it. xx

 

[Bonnie11]

However you try to do it just dont get stressed as the children will pick up on it quickly.
Our DD started pre school last month, they said she had to be toilet trained but I tried over the summer and she just couldnt get it which resulted in us all getting upset. I tried for 3 months but she was constantly wetting and pooing in her pants and I tried a hundred different ways. When she started I told them that I had tried and that she just wasnt ready, they were fine about it. I explained they were welcome to out her in pants but they wouod be clearing up a lot of accidents and unsuprisingly they were fine after that

If they are not ready dont force it as you will end up with a really negative association, dont let nursery pressure you.

 

[noon_child]

I'm really shocked that there are still nurseries out there who insist on them being toilet trained. I mean what if they had children with a developmental delay...or do they not let them attend either?

 

[Bonnie11]

I'm really shocked that there are still nurseries out there who insist on them being toilet trained. I mean what if they had children with a developmental delay...or do they not let them attend either?

i think just prefer it as its easier for them but I havent come across anywhere that has actually insisted on it. A friend of mine told me it was illegal for them to refuse to take them on the basis that they arent toilet trained but I havent verified that. Seems ridiculous doesnt it?

 

[george83]

My advice is just to be consistent and consider going nappy free for as long as it takes. I appreciate that children need to be ready for it to work but ds1 was potty trained within a week and ds2 in less than that. We had no nappies and no pants and tried to stay in as much as we possible could

 

[Kandidancer]

Thank you mummies for your advice. Today has been day 1, and it's not been too bad. We have had 2 toilet wees, and a few potty ones. A few damp patches on the carpet too. But I'm hopeful we will be trained soon.
The nursery that insists she is toilet trained is a primary school nursery ( not sure if that makes a difference). But I have also signed her up to a private nursery in case she isn't. Thanks again xx

 

[Kandidancer]

Where do I start, Thursday went quite well. Then Friday was dreadful. Darcie was excited to use the potty again until my in laws visited. My MIL told her not to wet her panties as they are too pretty to get wet !!😡. Now my daughter is hysterical. I've stopped training for a few days as it's too distressing for her. I tried Saturday but she held her urine for around 5 hrs and just screamed and screamed for nappies. This is totally out of character for her. Also it isn't the first time my MIL has warned her about wetting herself saying it's naughty. I really don't know what to do now. My OH had a chat with his mum, she's now taken a silent pill and not contacted me or apologised for upsetting my daughter. My daughter is normally a confident little girl, but now it's an ordeal to even change her nappy.

 

[Babybear85]

I think ur main issue here is that u r feeling pressured because u have a deadline. Im pretty sure the nursery cannot stop u sending ur daughter in a pull up if thats whats needed. Also both mine have had regressions im talking months of no accidents and then starting to soil and wee again in thier pants. Not to mention actually starting nursery made a massive difference to my youngest he was so upset the accidenta started up again. Id take the pressure off explain u will be teying to toilet train her but if needs be will send in extra clothes and or pull ups. U cannot make a child ready at the end of the day and they cant say she muat be trained when as i said above regardless most go through regressions anyway. Tell family u r the one dealing with the toilet training and to butt out.

 

[juliawat]

What worked best for me was rewarding my son and complementing him whenever he used the toilet. Putting pressure is the worst and always gives opposite effects. And remember - accidents can always happen - they are still small children. I am convinced they know it in the nursery too. Good luck

 

[Wish85]

The only thing that worked for me was telling ds that if he does his wees and poo's in the toilet when we flush it goes down into the ocean and feeds Dory from Finding Nemo haha ever since that he has been toiled trained, and I mean literally that day. He was pretty much 3yo on the dot

 

[Kandidancer]

The only thing that worked for me was telling ds that if he does his wees and poo's in the toilet when we flush it goes down into the ocean and feeds Dory from Finding Nemo haha ever since that he has been toiled trained, and I mean literally that day. He was pretty much 3yo on the dot

I have told her this as she loves Dory!!! Ha ha

 

[Wish85]

The only thing that worked for me was telling ds that if he does his wees and poo's in the toilet when we flush it goes down into the ocean and feeds Dory from Finding Nemo haha ever since that he has been toiled trained, and I mean literally that day. He was pretty much 3yo on the dot

I have told her this as she loves Dory!!! Ha ha

It really works! He got excited to use the toilet from that point on & he felt like he was helping feed dory lol he doesn't mention it anymore as it's been a few months now but at first he genuinely felt good about it. I also told him his poo is old food that our tummy no longer needs & that's why we were giving it to Dory lol