Here I am

[Twin2momma]

Yesterday after holding on to so much hope, I came home went to pee and passed what felt like a huge clot only to look and see the tissue and the sac. I am completely gutted. I never knew that this could hurt so bad. And I don't understand why? I did everything I was "supposed" to do. I just don't get it. I'm so hurt and lost.

 

[bumbleberry]

Sorry for your loss. It's hard when it seems we've all done what we're supposed to, and that there are no explanation for why we're going through it.

Happy to chat/vent but make sure you take care of yourself at the moment x

 

[Sophiejash]

Sometimes there is just no answer to ease your pain. I lost a baby at 10 weeks, I felt myself pass it while on the loo but couldn't bear to look back at it. I have now accepted that something was obviously not right and baby wasn't developing properly as I had a scan only that same day and baby was there, heart beating away but not measuring the size it should have been. It hurt like hell, and all I wanted to do was cry but also get straight back on the band wagon and try again as soon as I could. Now I'm expecting a beautiful (so far) healthy baby and to some extent am thankful things happen the way they did otherwise I wouldn't have this baby to look forward to. Don't lose hope, you'll get your rainbow baby and forever be reminded of how delicate life is and how thankyou you are for the gift of life. Hope you feel better soon xx

 

[lilysmum2]

oh my gosh i am so sorry hunni!! x

 

[KB83]

I felt the same way. I started losing fluid at 12 weeks but my baby held on until 17 weeks. The day before I delivered him he had a strong heartbeat. I had been through some issues with the pregnancy but the heartbeat was always great. I woke up Wednesday morning to use the bathroom and his cord was coming out. When they did the ultrasound there was no heartbeat. I delivered a beautiful baby boy that weighed 5.2 oz and 7 3/4 in long. He looked absolutely perfect. Almost a week later I am still completely broken. My heart goes out to you and your family because the loss of a baby, no matter how old, is a loss that you never completely get over. I will always love my 1st born son Isaiah. Strength comes from those who love you. Don't hold your feeling inside and don't be afraid or ashamed to cry. I cry daily as well as question why. We picked up our sons ashes today but since he was so tiny there was only maybe a teaspoon to keep. Embrace your feelings but don't get discouraged. I will honestly say that I am terrified that it will happen again but I'm not going to let it stop me from trying again.