Hitting a real low point and really struggling

[klemoncake]

hi justwanted to jump in and say i know how you feel, and def about bd- its hard t o keep having stipulated timed BD every month and every month you feel disappointed and think whats the point...
and in the end I've just come clean to everyone- its totally stopped all the " are u trying" questions, and the " why aren't you drinking, are u pregnant?"... my dh said to me when i was at a real low point a few months ago- no one else will look out for you, so you make sure you put yourself first. its hard at first but now I'm fine with saying, I'm not coming to events etc if i know af is due/ babies will be there etc...

what keeps me going is thinking about the day i get to hold me little baby in my arms.. he or she will be sooo loved and wanted and they will know how wanted and loved they are as they grow up.
infertility is the shittiest thing, and people really don't understand.. and say the stupidest things, so just take comfort in those that do understand.

as for us, we are planning for iui after my lap in november, privately as we are in uk, but I'm very lucky as my mum is giving me some money for it. xx

 

[tamithomas]

what keeps me going is thinking about the day i get to hold me little baby in my arms.. he or she will be sooo loved and wanted and they will know how wanted and loved they are as they grow up.
infertility is the shittiest thing, and people really don't understand.. and say the stupidest things, so just take comfort in those that do understand.

Well said

 

[g_n_ellis]

I can't say much more than that you're not alone. I completely understand how you feel because I feel the same way!

ALL of my friends are having babies, even the ones who don't want them. DH and I started TTC in Jan with no luck (9 months now, just got AF today); we were NTNP for almost a year before that with 1 pregnancy, but sadly, my little girl didn't survive. My best friend got pregnant the first month she tried (May), and suddenly it seemed like everybody was getting pregnant. Two friends of mine were definitely trying NOT to get pregnant got pregnant. But me? Nope. Nothing.

Every month, I feel like my heart breaks a little more and I feel like I want to just give up so that it won't hurt any more. DH is disappointed, but he has to support me, so he doesn't really talk about how he feels. Like your DH, he's super duper supportive, but I feel bad that he doesn't get a chance to share his feelings because I know he's afraid of making me feel worse! I just want to give him a child so badly! Today he got all wistful because he saw a father and young son walking down the road holding hands and I wanted to cry!

I just want you to know that you're not alone! Hopefully we can walk through this together. *hugs*

 

[Chatnoir]

Sorry not been on for a while so just seen ur post. Thanks for your kind words, and sorry to hear about your baby girl.
I was starting to feel a bit better but last night found out that our best man and his wife are pregnant. We had a falling out shortly after our wedding so don't speak anymore as they are horrid people. They married after us so was a big blow to hear they are expecting. Specially to my hubby he finally said all of how he feels and I just cried. To hear the love of my love say how unhappy he is broke my heart.
So I'm now back to being miserable

 

[g_n_ellis]

I'm so sorry you're feeling miserable! It's always hard to hear about people you know getting pregnant, even harder when it is someone that you have a bad relationship with. I completely understand how you feel. A few women at my church (which is a very small one) just got pregnant and all everyone wants to talk about is their babies; nobody seems to consider that there are people like you and me who are trying as hard as they can but simply can't get pregnant right away like the other women. I hate having to grin and bear it and act like I'm not falling apart inside during the entire conversation

I don't have a lot of words of encouragement because I'm in the same place you are. I've had people tell me that when my time comes, it is well worth all the wait; I know what they mean, but right now, the waiting sucks. I'm thinking of you, darling! Here's hoping that your time and my time comes soon!

 

[Chatnoir]

Bless you hun. Coming on here is the greatest support x