hlynn and me!!

[cranberry987]

Im rly sorry to hear that, things seemed so positive for this cycle No chance you can get a loan or something instead of saving? Or use a 0% credit card maybe.

You might actually enjoy having a break tho, just focus on the family and have a nice summer.

Take care

x

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Helen,

How ya doing today? I went to get my bloodwork and u/s again today and I have to go again tomorrow morning. My dr may not do the hsg test tomorrow, it will all depend on if I'm too close to ovulation. I'm hoping I'm not cause I won't be able to do the hsg next cycle either. I'm going to Miami during most of my period and you're suppose to do the hsg from cd5 to cd10.

How's the clomid going this cycle any side effects?

 

[cranberry987]

Can't believe things are happening so quickly for you. Good luck tmw

This cycle going ok so far. Had major hot flushes today. Started dieting again in case I need ivf and that's going good too. Only a week Til my us, rly hoping the follicles do something but I'm sure I'll need to fork out for another

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Helen,

How's it going on today? Still getting hot flashes. Have you lost any weight since you've been dieting? I had to do a lot of walking yesterday and today since I was at a course for the last two days. I haven't done that much walking since before I got married last year. I should really get out and do more. It actually felt really good.

So, did the dr actually find out if you ovulated or not? Your temps were looking really good. When I saw my FS, I showed him my FF charts and he was excited by the fact that there was a noticable temp rise after ovulation. Anyhow, I didn't do the HSG, this morning when I went in for another blood test and u/s, they said that I'm going to ovulate within the next 2-4 days so it would be too soon to do the HSG test. I'm kinda bummed about it cause I can't do it next cycle either since I'll be in Miami, but my dr did say that I should be ok. He said that I'm one of the younger patients there. I thought 36 was old. hmm...

Anyhow, yeah, they're really moving fast with me, which is fine by me. I'm just more anxious for the dr to do all the tests so that I can finally find out if there really is something wrong with me or maybe I just need to be more patient.

So, what else is new?

 

[cranberry987]

Ah that's a shame. Maybe you can switch off a bit when you go away and come back with the energy needed for the next steps

Not much going in with me. Last day of clomid today, having awful hot flushes and rly Weepy then angry for no reason. Hope it bloody works this month. Last month i think the follicle didnt mature enough so they're going to measure it this month to see. Should be 20mm or so. If it doesn't work then it's injectables I think which I'm ok with. And if it is big enough they can give me a hcg shot to make the egg pop out.

Only been dieting since sunday but lost 5lbs of water-3 was on the first day. Doing slimming world so I weigh in in on Mondays. I lost 3 stone last year and I'd like to lose another 1.5 for now. Then 1.5 more after a little break maybe. Will wait and see how it goes.

Been trying to get husband into bed but he won't. Says hes saving his energy as we start bding eod on Thursday. Hardly makes me feel v alluring tho, feel like a test tube or something. He Rly doesn't think sometimes.

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Helen,

How's it going? I'm so happy for you that you lost 5 lbs that's really good. How's your hubby doing today? I swear men can be so insensitive sometimes and not think. What's wrong with DTD at times when you may not be fertile. Good grief.

Well, I hope the hot flashes have stopped. As for me, today I feel so completely bloated, like super bloated. I got a peak on my CBFM today and I also got another +OPK, so I think I should be ovulating tomorrow. I'm going in again to my FS for more bloodwork and an u/s, but I'm wondering if I'll ovulate by then??

Also, I just thought about this last night, but I keep thinking about the gel they use for the transvaginal ultrasound and if that harms sperm. I'm going to bring my preseed tomorrow just in case she uses the gel again. Ah well.

Ah man, I just want this week to be over, I'm so tired right now.

 

[cranberry987]

Hi

Still horrible side effects, rly depressed too which I think its just the clomid and everything getting on top of me. Found out that my bff is ttc and shes been lying to me about stuff. She had said she would start when they went on honeymoon in april, so I thought I had a few more months, now shes gonna get preg this month and im just devastated with jealousy. She invited me round sunday which isnt like her - always me arranging things, and im sure shes going to tell me shes preg then, so ive turned her down. cant cope with it.

also, i went to the gym and i know i was booked on a class, but they kicked me out as they said they were full, even tho others there hadnt booked. i had planned to stay there all morning and then see a colleague, but i ended up in bed crying my heart out.

tried not to eat crap, then broke late afternoon, its just such a self soother, so today ive put 2 on, mostly water I think as i didnt rly eat that much - def under 2k calories all day, just that any time i break my diet at all i put water on

rly just want this US on monday over with. I know its going ot show that im not ovulating on clomid and i just want to get onto injectables. I hope that they will give me less side effects. If i stay on clomid then im going to have to get signed off work - would get about 10% of my wage but I cant work as depressed as this. Going to struggle through today and tmw then just crash at the weekend. Monday off and my mum visiting me, then the US.

GL with your US, hopefully the follicles will be nice and big. Im not sure about the gel, i think it would probably be neutral if anything, esp as its a FS. Worth checking tho.

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Girl,

How are you doing now? I'm so sorry that you're feeling so depressed. This whole TTC process is quite depressing isn't it. I also have a coworker that's starting to try to have a baby and she's 5 years younger than me, so she should be pregnant within the next 3 months and I'm already totally jealous.

As for the weight issue, have you ever considered measuring yourself instead of weighing yourself. I also suffer from eating when I'm depressed so I tend to gain weight really easily, but one of my doctors a very long time ago told me that our weight flutuates during the day and is always up or down during the week. She told me that I should just use a tape measure and measure the inches instead. I started to do that and it feels much better. I don't even know how much I weight anymore, but I do know my waist, hips and bust size and I also know when my pants start to get a little snug that it's probably time to watch what I eat.

I agree with you about calorie counting, that's an excellent way to watch what you eat.

Gosh, I wish I could make you feel better. I wish our weight didn't have to play a part of our fertility.

I'm not sure if the injectables would make you less moody, but I think that would be an excellent idea. Maybe you should take a little vacation as well. Is that possible?

I went in again today for the bloodwork and ultrasound. My dr said that I ovulated and showed me the progression of my follicle from Monday, since monday it grew from 18mm to yesterday it was about 22mm and today it's back at 14mm since I ovulated. I guess it starts to shrink after you ovulate.

Anyhow, the dr said that I need to wait 2 weeks now and if I don't get my period by March 30th, I should POAS and if it's positive I should take a blood test at the clinic. If I don't get a BFP and AF still hasn't arrive I still need to go in to do a blood test.

So, all this will probably happen before I go to Miami, so even if AF arrives I can still go to the clinic to get my CD 3 tests before my trip.

You have to let me know what happens at your u/s on Monday. I hope it all goes well.

 

[cranberry987]

Good news about your us. Fingers crossed then. Did you bd enough this cycle?

We've started bding eod now. My heart isn't rly in it this cycle tho. Cbfm started asking me for sticks this morning cd 9. Just passing time rly now. Apologised to friend for having a go at her and she's bit replied so I suppose that's another of my friendships which is totally one sided. Can't be arsed with it tbh as it's just more stress.

We have a weekend away booked next weekend and rich gets his yearly bonus then too of about £3k so were going to treat ourselves with that a bit. Screw saving.

Feeling less clomid depressed, think it's just normal sadness now. Us is Monday evening so will let you know how it goes. I don't expect much tho

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Helen,

I just wanted to wish you good luck today at your ultrasound. Please let me know how that goes!!

 

[cranberry987]

Thanks. I'm horribly anxious about it. Wish the day would go faster

 

[cranberry987]

Follicles were 8mm and need to be 20. So I'm done. Can't deal with this any more. Leaving husband at the weekend and giving up everything

 

[so_anxious]

Wait, wait, wait, what do you mean? Aren't you at the beginning of your cycle, then 8mm is ok. Are you ok?

 

[cranberry987]

Even if I ov on cd19 like last month they will only get to about 16mm the nurse said. And 16 seems optimistic tbh. Needs to be over 20 for ov. So I'm letting him get on with his life. When he's 80 and looks back at his life he'll thank me. I'll be sat at home looking at the wall.

 

[so_anxious]

Oh my dear, I'm so sorry. Do you really think that's good idea? Maybe you should take a little vacation with a girlfriend or family. You know just some time away from it all. Gosh, sweetie, I feel so badly, isn't there anything they can do for you. How about injectables?

 

[cranberry987]

I don't want to waste his life any longer and I haven't got the strength to carry on.

 

[so_anxious]

I know you don't want to waste his life, but I don't think you are and I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way either. I think you're going to have a hard time getting rid of him. If he loves you, he's not going to let you go without a fight.

I have to tell you that I still think you have a chance. There's tons of women with PCOS that still have babies. You may have to consider IVF or maybe eve donor eggs, but anyhow, I think you may need to seriously take a break. I wish I could tell you that I know how you feel, but I'm not in your position and I can only tell you that it will get better, sweetie.

 

[cranberry987]

I dont think ive got the strength to take a break, Ill crash even harder. I need to get this cycle over with but the time just drags. Im not going to leave husband but i still believe he'd be better off without me. I was ill do two years, struggled back to being well, everyone said itll get better, and it didnt, we just had this nightmare to deal with. I dont know what to do for the best, dont have many options

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Helen,

How are you doing today?

 

[cranberry987]

Hi. I'm a bit better today I suppose. Still quite down but not had a cry. Turned up to work and client was 7months pregnant. Least she wasn't a smug one

Spoke to dr and he says this cycle won't be a complete washout but still doesn't sound that promising. Not doing more us this cycle. Switching to injectables next cycle and have appt on April 5th which is cd27 to talk about it all. A lot more expensive but I can't do the clomid again esp as he wanted me to go up to 150:/

How are you doing? Got anything booked in or just waiting on AF?