Home birth without Midwife

[NaturalMomma]

I have a few friends who have done unassisted births, and are currently planning for unassisted births. I support them, but I would prefer to have a Midwife attend just so that she can look for any signs of complications and I don't have to worry about everything being on my shoulders (laboring, birthing, plus making sure baby and I are 100% ok).

 

[Leahmasie]

I understand why some people choose UC, and there are awful stories about incompetent medical professionals. In my case we planned a homebirth, which some people also think is irresponsible, but I was convinced the risk of unneeded interventions was higher than the risk of complications that needed hospital care. In the end I was failed by my homebirth midwife because she did not know the recent research on "post-term" birth, so we reluctantly agreed to an induction. Still, labor was so physically hard for me, I know I could not respond adequately in an emergency. I want someone knowledgeable helping me. I do think there are some women who might be able to do it, but it's hard to believe. Actually, I don't believe it's safer than with a competent midwife. But I do understand the damage incompetent people can do at such a vulnerable time, so I understand some women feel that is what they're avoiding.

 

[BetsyRN]

I really feel for people that feel victimized by previous birth experiences and it sucks that there are medical professionals out there that don't know what theyr'e doing. But when everyone delivered at home "not that long ago", there were still lay midwives present or someone who'd delivered the babies in that village present who knew what to do to help or monitor the mom. And plenty of women still died or their babies still died! It's amazing that people always say "women have been doing this for thousands of years" but forget that many women and babies died in childbirth and honestly still do in non-industrialized countries. I know I'm probably the only opposition on here and yall wish I'd just leave, but I think people who choose unassisted childbirth are taking the risk that something very very bad could happen. When I delivered my first baby I was very nervous, but five years later it's not as scary and I'm much more competent in doing so. Same goes for taking care of laboring women and twenty more years of experience will only help me serve my patients better. Even if someone reads up on emergency situations, having your partner or yourself make decisions or try to make decisions during an emergency or labor/delivery that isn't going smoothly when you've never delivered a baby before (or you've only delivered your 3 other kids) isn't much different than the brand new resident who's read about deliveries but has only done 2. It's not much different than the incompetent midwife who doesn't know what she's doing. If I had a bad experience I'd rather find a new provider than handle things on my own. Homebirths are great and there are wonderful midwives out there, but going unassisted is taking the risk that something bad could happen (ie maternal death, intrauterine death, CP, severe brain damage, etc.) Most people will probably be lucky and have beautiful labors and deliveries. But I've seen the worst of the worst happen and just want people to really think about what they're choosing to do.

 

[Linzi]

To those against it, you will find that more people who go unassisted go in to it very well informed. They will often prepare in great depth for how to deal with certain scenarios including the baby needing resuscitation etc.

The question for me when someone decided to have an unassisted birth is why do they not feel able to have a midwife present.....people all too often just judge and say 'it's irresponsible' 'what if...'. Don't you think they have thought about the what ifs? Dont you think their baby is the most precious thing in the world to them just as it is to the couple going to hospital? Of course it is but there are very deep, complex reasons why they think that UC is the safest option for their family. When you've been at births WITH midwives or doctors that have been traumatic and awful not because of complications but because of sometimes shocking levels of disrespect and lack of care, then you begin to understand why people chose that route, even if it's not one you would perhaps take yourself.

That was what I meant to say but I'm crap with words

I spoke to my health visitor today about some things that have been going on with me since Molly was born and she wants me monitored by my GP now as she thinks I may develop PND, triggered by one event in my labour which was caused by a midwives complete lack of care & respect. I totally understand now why someone might have an unassisted childbirth, even though it's not something II would choose for myself.

xx

 

[Mervs Mum]

I really feel for people that feel victimized by previous birth experiences and it sucks that there are medical professionals out there that don't know what theyr'e doing. But when everyone delivered at home "not that long ago", there were still lay midwives present or someone who'd delivered the babies in that village present who knew what to do to help or monitor the mom. And plenty of women still died or their babies still died! It's amazing that people always say "women have been doing this for thousands of years" but forget that many women and babies died in childbirth and honestly still do in non-industrialized countries. I know I'm probably the only opposition on here and yall wish I'd just leave, but I think people who choose unassisted childbirth are taking the risk that something very very bad could happen. When I delivered my first baby I was very nervous, but five years later it's not as scary and I'm much more competent in doing so. Same goes for taking care of laboring women and twenty more years of experience will only help me serve my patients better. Even if someone reads up on emergency situations, having your partner or yourself make decisions or try to make decisions during an emergency or labor/delivery that isn't going smoothly when you've never delivered a baby before (or you've only delivered your 3 other kids) isn't much different than the brand new resident who's read about deliveries but has only done 2. It's not much different than the incompetent midwife who doesn't know what she's doing. If I had a bad experience I'd rather find a new provider than handle things on my own. Homebirths are great and there are wonderful midwives out there, but going unassisted is taking the risk that something bad could happen (ie maternal death, intrauterine death, CP, severe brain damage, etc.) Most people will probably be lucky and have beautiful labors and deliveries. But I've seen the worst of the worst happen and just want people to really think about what they're choosing to do.

We don't wish you would go away. In the contrary we welcome honest genuine challenges to our thoughts....or I certainly do! Your belief system is firmly placed on the opposite end of the spectrum to free birthing so I can appreciate why you think and feel the way you do. But please be assured that people chosing to go unassisted are not doing it on a whim or to prove a point or JUST because they dont trust the system. Belief systems run deep on both sides.

 

[moomin_troll]

concidering i almost had a unassisted birth due to the mw not getting her ass into gear i can honestly say she wasnt needed. she tried to push what she wanted on me and made me panic.

the onlt good thing about having her here was she noticed i had torn and said stitches were needed.....well they actualy werent because all they did was fall out lol

 

[SoyLatte]

Before you decide to do this check with you're states regulations and laws. I recently heard a story about a women in Canada who had an unassisted home birth and there wasn't a certified party present to fill out a birth certificate.

The baby is now like 6 months old and she can't get a passport to visit family outside of the country until she pays for a DNA test to verify that the baby is her biological child since there wasn't a medical witness present (doctor or midwife) to verify the birth.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I had an unplanned unnasisted homebirth, the home bit was planned, but not the unnasisted bit! The midwife just didn't make in time. I was a bit scared and a load of what ifs went through my mind, BUT at the same time, it was an amazing experience to go through it with no one interfering!

I am considering doing it again this time, but.. this time I will make sure I'm fully aware of what to do if baby isn't breathing and things like that. I'm not sure I'll actually be brave enough to do it, but willl be educating myself regardless as I'm very doubtful the midwife will make it in time again even if I do decide to have one present!. The midwives last time were expecting not to have much time to get to me, as my previous labour was 30 minutes from 1st contraction, to birth, and they were expecting it to be even quicker, which it was, at 20 minutes!

I think what I will probably end up doing is calling the midwife, and on the small chance that she does get here in time.. make sure that she is NOT allowed to interfere or do anything, unless absolutely needed. Just make her sit in the corner, and be quiet sorta thing

 

[moomin_troll]

I had an unplanned unnasisted homebirth, the home bit was planned, but not the unnasisted bit! The midwife just didn't make in time. I was a bit scared and a load of what ifs went through my mind, BUT at the same time, it was an amazing experience to go through it with no one interfering!

I am considering doing it again this time, but.. this time I will make sure I'm fully aware of what to do if baby isn't breathing and things like that. I'm not sure I'll actually be brave enough to do it, but willl be educating myself regardless as I'm very doubtful the midwife will make it in time again even if I do decide to have one present!. The midwives last time were expecting not to have much time to get to me, as my previous labour was 30 minutes from 1st contraction, to birth, and they were expecting it to be even quicker, which it was, at 20 minutes!

I think what I will probably end up doing is calling the midwife, and on the small chance that she does get here in time.. make sure that she is NOT allowed to interfere or do anything, unless absolutely needed. Just make her sit in the corner, and be quiet sorta thing

wow! i thought my 4 hour labour was fast

 

[Mindy_mini]

Now I know I'm likely to get hissed at when I say this... I'm a student midwife ** runs and hides **

I've skimmed through this thread in between trying to pack for a wedding, look after LO and bellowing at dh to get his arse into gear.

Its gonna be a short post but just wanted to say I think there is a big difference between unassisted and unattended.

You can have a home birth, being confortable in your own environment, you can tell the mw you don't want to be examined or interventions but she is there in case things take a turn for the worse, unattended is a different matter. Yes, women have been giving Birth since time began but high numbers of them died or their babies died. They would be attended by "elders" who delivered the babies of the village. So infect it's more natural and normal to be attended.

PERSONALLY I feel it's selfish to put you and your baby at risk not to mention if something goes wrong and you dp/mother/friend/who ever you've chosen o have present has to witness what could be the unthinkable.

Each to their own but I personally would never do it on my own.

 

[moomin_troll]

things can also go very wrong when a mw is present, and ive heard so many things about mws doing the wrong thing and causing complications.

it drives me nuts on threads like this people have to say what if this goes wrong, ule never forgive urself. lifes a bitch and things can go very wrong no matter whos there

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I had an unplanned unnasisted homebirth, the home bit was planned, but not the unnasisted bit! The midwife just didn't make in time. I was a bit scared and a load of what ifs went through my mind, BUT at the same time, it was an amazing experience to go through it with no one interfering!

I am considering doing it again this time, but.. this time I will make sure I'm fully aware of what to do if baby isn't breathing and things like that. I'm not sure I'll actually be brave enough to do it, but willl be educating myself regardless as I'm very doubtful the midwife will make it in time again even if I do decide to have one present!. The midwives last time were expecting not to have much time to get to me, as my previous labour was 30 minutes from 1st contraction, to birth, and they were expecting it to be even quicker, which it was, at 20 minutes!

I think what I will probably end up doing is calling the midwife, and on the small chance that she does get here in time.. make sure that she is NOT allowed to interfere or do anything, unless absolutely needed. Just make her sit in the corner, and be quiet sorta thing

wow! i thought my 4 hour labour was fast

lol, yeah.. I thought my first labour was quick at 5 hours was I proven wrong or what!?!

 

[Mervs Mum]

things can also go very wrong when a mw is present, and ive heard so many things about mws doing the wrong thing and causing complications.

it drives me nuts on threads like this people have to say what if this goes wrong, ule never forgive urself. lifes a bitch and things can go very wrong no matter whos there

Here here.

The selfish card pisses me right off. This implies that mothers going unassisted are putting themselves and their birth experience before their babies which could not be further from the truth. They go unassisted with their babies safety as paramount and to protect them from things 'going wrong' by having an undisturbed birth. Of course some MWs will think the way M_M does.....if women went unassisted more often it threatens their own feelings of validity.

 

[Mervs Mum]

and would a woman having a home birth ever be so outrageously rude, judgemental and insensitive as to imply that a woman choosing to birth in a hospital was being 'selfish' by putting their baby at higher risk of intervention/birth trauma etc etc? No. You dont hear it that way but its funny how its acceptable the other way.

 

[moomin_troll]

and would a woman having a home birth ever be so outrageously rude, judgemental and insensitive as to imply that a woman choosing to birth in a hospital was being 'selfish' by putting their baby at higher risk of intervention/birth trauma etc etc? No. You dont hear it that way but its funny how its acceptable the other way.

while planning my homebirth i got alot of "is it safe" "can u do that" and "what if something goes wrong" questions. having corey at home was much safer seen as my local hospital have a rep of killing people and not so long ago they overdosed (not sure what with) twins and they died.

some hospitals really arent the safest places to be

 

[silver_penny]

Alright, I'm going to put another two cents in: Some might consider me selfish for having an unassisted birth. Whatever, its your own perogative, but it was the right decision for me, my DH, and that birth. We researched the hell out of the what if's so I don't want to hear that we lacked education because of our decision. Most people who go unassisted go into it with a lot more knowledge than those who go into the hospital and depend upon the doctors or MW's there to do every little thing for them. We take on that responsibility. We know what we are taking onto our hands. There is fear and trepidation with any and every birth, there are always the what if's, no matter where or how you birth.

Now, we made the decision for UC for multiple reasons: there is a lack of MW's in our area, and the one's that we do have I have found to be inadequate, and very expensive for their inadequacies, at that. The MW I had at my last birth was more worried about loosing her license than the health and safety of my baby and myself. The hospital treated me horrendously, and I would never step foot in that hospital again unless it was a true emergency. It was safer in my eyes to give birth at home than to put myself and my baby in the hands of the professionals. UC isn't for everyone, but neither is home birthing, giving birth in a birth center, or hospital birthing. That is why we have choices. We live with the choices that we make and the consequences thereof. Its called life, its what we do. End of.

So, was I selfish in the choices I made? hmmm, maybe, as I was putting my health and the health of my baby first, even past the what if's. I took my time and researched birth to no end. In the end, I had a perfect birth. Call me lucky, or what will you, but I know that if something did happen, I would have had the knowledge to do what was right, and I would have gone to the hospital if the need arose, and my DH was knowledgable enough to know the signs for an emergency and what to do if the situation turned into an emergency. Oh, and btw, I am a student MW as well, though I wasn't at the time of the birth.

Sorry if my post sounds a little defensive, but I want you to know that I didn't go into UC blindly. I wasn't selfish for doing it and I am open to any questions that do arise.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

SP - can I ask you to share some sources of good information for educating myself on how to handle the 'what ifs'!? Where did you start you research etc?

 

[moomin_troll]

as i mentioned i almost had a unassisted birth and my mum was just getting ready to unhook the cord if it was round coreys kneck and we would of delt with the rest if and when lol
but ive never spoken to a woman planning a home or unassisted birth that hasnt done their research.

no one (that i no of) just turns round n says yeah i fancy staying home by myself to give birth

 

[silver_penny]

I started most of my research online (the Internet is a great resource!) Laura Shanley's page is a good starting point, but I have some favorite books as well: Holistic Midwifery, Vol 2... its a textbook for midwives, over 1400 pages, with great info, very scientific and in-depth. It does cost a pretty penny, though... I read the entire book while I was pregnant and chasing a toddler, highlighting and marking pages as I went. It has the majority of complications and warning signs of what can happen during labor and birth. Its companion book, Holistic Midwifery, Vol 1, covers pregnancy, but I haven't had the chance to get that one yet. Heart and Hands: A Midwife's Guide to Pregnancy is another great book, precise and to the point for any expectant mother.

If you are also doing an unassisted pregnancy, you might want to consider getting urinalysis strips to check your urine levels.

 

[MissMisery]

Thank you so much for all your responses! I forgot I had even posted this thread. =p

Anyway the US has an extremely high mother mortality rate as it is. So obviously modern medicine isn't always helping. Third world countries have higher rankings. (That info is from Amnesty International).

I just feel like I want to trust my body and myself and do something that I KNOW I am capable of. I assume that giving birth in a relaxed environment and not feeling helpless about it has to be one of the most empowering moments ever.