Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[Mervs Mum]

Janie you have more self control than I would have.....I'd have found it impossible to have kept my trap shut!

She's clearly anti HB so its good that you know where you stand and what your rights are and of course the genuine risks, as opposed to the scaremongering.

I hope you can reassure OH. My OH said if we needed a transfer an the ambulance was delayed we'd get in our own bloody car! And as you know its utter BS that you cant change your mind and go to hospital - they have a duty of care FFS!! Like they'd fold their arms and shoo you away....stupid woman.

Stick to your guns - she's got plenty of time

 

[Janiepops]

Well normally I struggle to bite my tongue, but he hates it when I start kicking up a fuss, and I knew that it really wouldn't have gotten me anywhere with her, so I'm actually very proud of myself!

He also said the same about driving me there himself! He couldn't believe that she was saying it would take so long. I think I started laughing when she said I couldn't go in if I wasn't coping.....I'll bloody well get up and walk out of here if I have to lol

 

[reallyready]

Welcome RR

There are some recommended books on the OP and my personal favourite is 'Birthing The Easy Way' by Sheila Stubbs. I read this and it sealed the deal for me. You can buy it from her website which is linked in the OP as well

Thank you for the recommendations and yes, I've seen Rikki Lake's doc right when it came out, great one. Watched it again recently and bawled my eyes out with happiness for watching births.

 

[chuck]

Are there any ladies here who have had or are hoping to VBAC at home?

I'm considering it for my next child after having been transferred from a birthing centre and eventually having a section without my husband and a terrible stay in hospital afterwards.

I know the MW's won't be keen (neither will my hubby) but seeing as I'm not allowed in a birthing centre any longer and I certainly don't want to go to hospital unless I absolutely have to I was wondering if anyone had any experiences of a VBAC at home?

Thanks ladies

 

[nightkd]

Janie, I would have absolutely flipped at her and walked out tbh... Or she would've thrown me out because I would've been saying "bullshit" every time she outright lied to me!! Damn, I've even educated/ranted at DH enough that HE would probably ask her why she was lying My goodness! You just have to wonder how many people were put off of having their homebirth by having someone like her frightening them!!!

Congrats ER!! Hope things get moving properly for you soon Rach...

I have a question, might be a dumb one, but still - if I were to go into labour early...not mega mega early, but like 35/36 weeks... Would I automatically have to go to hospital? And would I be 'allowed' to deliver naturally still (obviously depending on Bean's health at that point, if she's distressed etc) or would they pressure me into having a C-Section?

xx

 

[urbanbumpkin]

I have a question, might be a dumb one, but still - if I were to go into labour early...not mega mega early, but like 35/36 weeks... Would I automatically have to go to hospital? And would I be 'allowed' to deliver naturally still (obviously depending on Bean's health at that point, if she's distressed etc) or would they pressure me into having a C-Section

My midwife said that their policy was 37 weeks on they would happily come out. But that there was a disagreement between the director of midwives and the home birth midwives as to what this meant - they reckoned 37+ anything, DoM reckoned only 37+6 onwards. But she said to just be bolshie on the phone and insist on staying put.

But she did also say "if you call and insist you are staying at home, then we will come out whenever" when the conversation got onto what about 36+.

I guess you could just insist you were staying put until someone came out to examine you, and then take it from there.

I'm not sure about the C-section thing. Aren't babies meant to do better at breathing after a vaginal birth, something about mucus/fluid getting squeezed out of their lungs? So a vaginal birth should be medically preferable if it was early?

And hello, chuck. This is my first so I have no idea on the VBAC, but I'm sure someone will be able to help you out.

 

[madasa]

I have a question for mums trying hypno birthing.... I have been doing the breathing exercises and I am really struggling to progress beyond that to the relaxtion techniques.... because the breathing on its own is so effective I just fall asleep!! Has anyone had success with partial hypno birthing, as opposed to employing all the techniques and practicing everything she recommends? It's hard in the day cos I got DS running round and it's a bit of a distraction...plus I think I should be properly alert to supervise him, and not utterly focused on something else. But if I wait until he is in bed, I fall asleep myself!!

 

[Celesse]

Are there any ladies here who have had or are hoping to VBAC at home?

I'm considering it for my next child after having been transferred from a birthing centre and eventually having a section without my husband and a terrible stay in hospital afterwards.

I know the MW's won't be keen (neither will my hubby) but seeing as I'm not allowed in a birthing centre any longer and I certainly don't want to go to hospital unless I absolutely have to I was wondering if anyone had any experiences of a VBAC at home?

Thanks ladies

When I was discharged I discussed the whole VBAC at home issue with my midwife. She mentioned needing a meeting with consultants and big boss midwives so they can go through all the potential risks, and if you are determined to deliver at home then they have a duty of care to support you.

I would have a good chance of successful VBAC because my Section was for fetal distress (at 8-9cm). I will probably have less of a fight on my hands than someone who had a section for failure to progress.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I have a question, might be a dumb one, but still - if I were to go into labour early...not mega mega early, but like 35/36 weeks... Would I automatically have to go to hospital? And would I be 'allowed' to deliver naturally still (obviously depending on Bean's health at that point, if she's distressed etc) or would they pressure me into having a C-Section

My midwife said that their policy was 37 weeks on they would happily come out. But that there was a disagreement between the director of midwives and the home birth midwives as to what this meant - they reckoned 37+ anything, DoM reckoned only 37+6 onwards. But she said to just be bolshie on the phone and insist on staying put.

But she did also say "if you call and insist you are staying at home, then we will come out whenever" when the conversation got onto what about 36+.

I guess you could just insist you were staying put until someone came out to examine you, and then take it from there.

I'm not sure about the C-section thing. Aren't babies meant to do better at breathing after a vaginal birth, something about mucus/fluid getting squeezed out of their lungs? So a vaginal birth should be medically preferable if it was early?

And hello, chuck. This is my first so I have no idea on the VBAC, but I'm sure someone will be able to help you out.

This is my understanding too. An early baby shouldnt be delivered by c section unless there is a specific reason just as with a term baby. The cut off for HB in my area is 37 wks which is the same cut off for using the Birth Centre ie they have no SCBU/NICU facilities to hand

 

[Mervs Mum]

I have a question for mums trying hypno birthing.... I have been doing the breathing exercises and I am really struggling to progress beyond that to the relaxtion techniques.... because the breathing on its own is so effective I just fall asleep!! Has anyone had success with partial hypno birthing, as opposed to employing all the techniques and practicing everything she recommends? It's hard in the day cos I got DS running round and it's a bit of a distraction...plus I think I should be properly alert to supervise him, and not utterly focused on something else. But if I wait until he is in bed, I fall asleep myself!!

I didnt have a 'strict' hypno birth. I employed the relaxation techniques and used the affirmations (I will be sending you these tonight!) for the earlier stages and then I use it between contractions later on in labour. The thing that didnt work well for me was that in true hypnbirthing you get 'in the zone' and dont move about. I really needed to change positions a couple of times so I couldnt really tune completely out the whole way through. I did find t incredibly useful though and my OH was able to try to help me re focus when I started to wobble a bit in the later stages

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Hey girls, hope you're all doing well today!!!

I've been lurking on here again, waiting til I got to see my MW to make our plans yesterday.....and what a bloody crap meeting it was! She was the head of the team at my local surgery, and she basically did everything to make sure we knew she wasn't happy with us having our home birth!

She firstly greeted us by saying it was very late for us to be deciding this, 'these things take months to organise' and that she was gonna have to work extra, and draw in resources from other areas, so she could have it planned in time. Then she said, oh well there's another woman due the day before you, and she's been booked in from the start, so we can't be on call for you both, if you go into labour on the 28th (the day before) you WILL be going to hospital......at this point I just sat and nodded, was aware of how things were going to pan out...she went out the room to get the diary and I said to Chris I think we're gonna have a fight on our hands here.

So she came back with her diary and list of things to tell me, asked why I wanted to deliver at home etc etc, and seemed to be quite happy with everything I was saying. Told us about pain relief, how I can have diamorphine, which I declined, so she then told me that I would not be able to change my mind in labour, if things got too much for me, I wouldn't be able to go to hospital.....I don't want to go, but I KNOW that this IS an option, they won't bloody refuse me! Then came the list of everything that can go wrong - Chris's face got whiter by the minute - I sat nodding my head, I've done my homework and know the risks. And if something happened, it would be 1-2 hours before they got me to hospital...WTF, it only takes 20 minutes by car, surely a blue light ambulance wouldn't take 1-2 hours?! I said this, and she just kept saying about the number of women who had said to her 'I wish I'd known this before I chose my home birth and it went bad'. So basically she's saying that she has a list of women who's births had gone wrong? I must admit, I felt quite sick at this point.

Next was the pool...I said that I would be labouring in the pool all being well. Her reply to this - well that's Chris's job to maintain the temperature, he wont be able to help you much as this is his most important role, she was almost shouting at him!!!! Again, I just sat nodding, while squeezing his hand, if I opened my mouth I was going to say something I regretted. And how it HAD to be a rigid-side pool, not an inflatable one.....I didn't tell her this is what we're getting, what they gonna do at the time, tell me to get out? I don't bloody think so!

So this was the basis of the whole meeting, not ONCE did she say anything positive about the whole thing, and I know they have to cover everything, and was expecting to hear all the cons, but she did nothing to boost our confidence about it. Chris is a natural worrier, and I've spent a while explaining things to him so that he's happy with how it'll be here, and in less than an hour she brought him back to square one. She actually asked if he was sure he wanted to sign the form! I could've smacked her.

But we signed, and she made a fuss again about having to organise things in 3 weeks. Had I been a weaker person, I would've told her to forget it, but I stuck to my guns and being the stubborn creature I am, it's made me even more determined. I'm seeing my usual MW next week and I'll be bringing it up, I don't want to be going into this feeling negative!

Sorry I'm rambling on a lot, it probably doesn't seem such a big deal after all, I would just like to feel my team of midwives are behind us 100%!

What a bitch!! I really hope you have your homebirth so you can send her a thank you card for being so unsupportive and making the decision to have a homebirth even easier (imagine having her as your mw in hospital!)...what a cow.....well done for staying strong.....I would make a complaint though.....how unprofessional....

 

[chuck]

When I was discharged I discussed the whole VBAC at home issue with my midwife. She mentioned needing a meeting with consultants and big boss midwives so they can go through all the potential risks, and if you are determined to deliver at home then they have a duty of care to support you.

I would have a good chance of successful VBAC because my Section was for fetal distress (at 8-9cm). I will probably have less of a fight on my hands than someone who had a section for failure to progress.

Hmmm I dont know if technically I'm classed as failure to progress...I made slow progress 1/2cm in something like 8 hours at the birthing centre.

Breaking waters didn't really help at the hospital so on the drip I went and eventually made it to over 9cm...but there was a lip of cervix left that would NOT go and couldn't be pushed over babies head - little bugger was back to back with his chin thrust out!

I stayed like that for a couple hours until they sectioned me...not before breaking my epi making me do a final hour with the drip turned up stoopid high with no pain relief but g n a...oh and hubby couldn't bear to come to theatre so I went alone at midnight - and we then got 20 minutes as a family before hubby was thrown out

That's just the start of it...so I guess the slow progression wasn't my fault it was the babies.

I've already been told I would be a good candidate for VBAC...I don't know whether they'd be chuffed about me wanting to do it at home though lol!

 

[madasa]

I have a question for mums trying hypno birthing.... I have been doing the breathing exercises and I am really struggling to progress beyond that to the relaxtion techniques.... because the breathing on its own is so effective I just fall asleep!! Has anyone had success with partial hypno birthing, as opposed to employing all the techniques and practicing everything she recommends? It's hard in the day cos I got DS running round and it's a bit of a distraction...plus I think I should be properly alert to supervise him, and not utterly focused on something else. But if I wait until he is in bed, I fall asleep myself!!

I didnt have a 'strict' hypno birth. I employed the relaxation techniques and used the affirmations (I will be sending you these tonight!) for the earlier stages and then I use it between contractions later on in labour. The thing that didnt work well for me was that in true hypnbirthing you get 'in the zone' and dont move about. I really needed to change positions a couple of times so I couldnt really tune completely out the whole way through. I did find t incredibly useful though and my OH was able to try to help me re focus when I started to wobble a bit in the later stages

Thanks

Another thing that I'm finding tricky, even with just the breathing part, is that it's hard to breathe in really slow and deep, because LO is sitting so high and there's not a lot of room for my lungs!! I'm having to rely on counting and counting out.... and then just as (I assume) it starts working and I slip into relaxation, I'm still counting and getting the numbers in the wrong order, or skip numbers.... and then I pull myself out of relaxation before I can stop myself, to correct my counting. How stupid is that? I guess it just takes practice and patience....

 

[nightkd]

^ I'm finding breathing difficult too But for me it's the breathing out... I can breathe in for 4 seconds, but don't get anywhere near the 8 seconds it tells me to breathe out for

xx

 

[madasa]

When I was discharged I discussed the whole VBAC at home issue with my midwife. She mentioned needing a meeting with consultants and big boss midwives so they can go through all the potential risks, and if you are determined to deliver at home then they have a duty of care to support you.

I would have a good chance of successful VBAC because my Section was for fetal distress (at 8-9cm). I will probably have less of a fight on my hands than someone who had a section for failure to progress.

Hmmm I dont know if technically I'm classed as failure to progress...I made slow progress 1/2cm in something like 8 hours at the birthing centre.

Breaking waters didn't really help at the hospital so on the drip I went and eventually made it to over 9cm...but there was a lip of cervix left that would NOT go and couldn't be pushed over babies head - little bugger was back to back with his chin thrust out!

I stayed like that for a couple hours until they sectioned me...not before breaking my epi making me do a final hour with the drip turned up stoopid high with no pain relief but g n a...oh and hubby couldn't bear to come to theatre so I went alone at midnight - and we then got 20 minutes as a family before hubby was thrown out

That's just the start of it...so I guess the slow progression wasn't my fault it was the babies.

I've already been told I would be a good candidate for VBAC...I don't know whether they'd be chuffed about me wanting to do it at home though lol!

It wasn't "your fault" and it wasn't "babies' fault"... It was either a medical problem or (more likely) it was "their fault" in some way.... too much interference inhibiting labour, or something. Slow progress isn't a problem, so long as you and LO are doing OK, but so many medical types can;t resist having a prod and trying to "get things moving"....

I've never had a CS, and the only 2 ladies I know who did have one never tried a VBAC, so sorry I can't comment much on that front. Have you looked at the ICAN website?

 

[chuck]

It wasn't "your fault" and it wasn't "babies' fault"... It was either a medical problem or (more likely) it was "their fault" in some way.... too much interference inhibiting labour, or something. Slow progress isn't a problem, so long as you and LO are doing OK, but so many medical types can;t resist having a prod and trying to "get things moving"....

I've never had a CS, and the only 2 ladies I know who did have one never tried a VBAC, so sorry I can't comment much on that front. Have you looked at the ICAN website?

ICAN?

...it's early days yet, babba is only 3 and a bit months old, but we may start TTC before the year is out, I want to be armed with as much info as I can for my hubby and MW's when the time comes. Hubby has said he'll support me no matter what but I'd be effing stupid not to book an elective!

 

[Pops]

Pops - I hope you cried in a good way hun! I'm gonna be bawling for weeks when it's your turn! Let us know how the appointment goes xx

Of course it was in a good way!!! Bless you, I can't wait to text you, as always, you will be first to know!!

It made me cry too......after giving birth you feel like superwoman anyway (well i did) but i think being so in control of my birth is so empowering!

25 weeks already!!! Flying by!!!

I really, really, genuinely can't wait Rach, not just to meet Missy but to have gone through the birth process. I think it is going to absolutley amazing.

I know, it is fast coming round!!

How are you today?

Well, we had our MW appointment and everything is perfect. Bump was measured for the first time and is 25cm which is apparently spot on MW is more than happy with still having us down as "Home Birthers" and said all being well, she will drop our HB kit off at 36 weeks....that's only 9 weeks away

Feel really tired today as was non stop at work due to being on leave all next week so off to bed shortly me thinks but have our weekend in Brighton to look forward to...some much needed break time for us both!

Hope you all have wonderful weekends

xxx

 

[madasa]

It wasn't "your fault" and it wasn't "babies' fault"... It was either a medical problem or (more likely) it was "their fault" in some way.... too much interference inhibiting labour, or something. Slow progress isn't a problem, so long as you and LO are doing OK, but so many medical types can;t resist having a prod and trying to "get things moving"....

I've never had a CS, and the only 2 ladies I know who did have one never tried a VBAC, so sorry I can't comment much on that front. Have you looked at the ICAN website?

ICAN?

International Caesarean Awareness Network

https://www.ican-online.org/

 

[madasa]

^ I'm finding breathing difficult too But for me it's the breathing out... I can breathe in for 4 seconds, but don't get anywhere near the 8 seconds it tells me to breathe out for

xx

I'm not too bad at that - that's Sleep Breathing, right? I can breathe in for 4, easy, and breathe out for 8..... less easy, but I can do it. But very quickly I start jumbling the numbers and that pulls me out of relaxation before I can stop myself! I have even more trouble with the Slow one

 

[Mervs Mum]

Our hypno 'teacher' said that you dont have to do it exactly as they teach. You just need to make it work for you so dont worry about it being absolutely perfect.