Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[chuck]

It's on 4OD Jenni if you want something to watch.

As difficult as it is try not to worry about the BP thing, BP is affected by stress!

 

[SimplyRhi]

*sigh* So now I have from now until 1:30 to get my BP down. Me thinks worrying about it isn't helping.

Definitely just try and relax... can you have a lie down or a soak in the bath for a little bit? BP unfortunately is one of those things.. and white coat syndrome definitely doesn't help.... by putting you in the hospital to be monitored, immediately raises BP..... Have a cammomile tea before you go in too and just remember to ask any questions you like and don't be 'told' anything without the full info! Hugs!

 

[JudeMc]

Hi Ladies... long story short.. I am about to give birth, like literally. I am waiting for my contractions to get strong enough to call my MW. I already have 2 girls ages 13 and 15 which I had in Scotland, both water births.. Now I'm in Spain and talk about a whole different experience!!!!

This is where long story short comes in we have had 9 months of eugh and grrr with the doctors here but now in the final stretch after refusing 2 inductions and 2 tactos (internal exams) I think finally (theoretically I have 42 weeks and 3 days) according to hospital dates...he is coming on his own!!!!

Yippeeee..

I'm just looking for that little bit of added confidence that home births are the way to go... videos, stories etc look so much more tranquil and peaceful and both me and my OH would love this to happen....

I don't know anyone here that has done this but my MW has tons of experience...

Comments??

 

[Bournefree]

Hey Jude (urrr Sorry! ;-). You are going to have a brilliant home birth - it rocks! Confidence is something you have to have, but don't worry if you are having wobbles, they are just the usual wobbles that alll pregnant women get! Wishing you lots of love and the homebirth you want.

Gina; what are your neighbours trying to pull on you!? I hope your boiler probs sort out soon. Thinking of you... But I think I know you and your DP enough to say that, you will take it all in your stride! xxx

Jenni - your prob waiting for your test right now... so sending you relaxing vibes xxx.
All you can do is keep getting tested until baby arrives.. take it on evidence and not opinion of others. it is YOUR opinion that matters, it is your decision. Esp if there isn't any signs of Pre-eclamp - which is going to be the main risk. Is your BP raised compared to your booking BP... or just raised when compared to the populous?

Chuck. my OH watched MBFGW with me last night - only because he saw an ad, and thought there was going to be a fight! hahaha! He was quite disappointed!

I'm feeling a little melancholy today (could be silly hormones). It is because I’ve just met up with 2 of the mums from my group of mums that I've become good friends with. We all went to a 2 under 2’s group.. As they are both pregnant with second babies too.
They just don't get me I think. They both had EMCS (not that, that should be a reason for their behaviour), they clubbed together today to make me feel like I have 2 heads or something! .. and I have to say I just wasn't my usual self, I have been quite.. errrm passive, is the word I would choose. It can really get you down, being spoken to (and about, but within ear-shot) like I'm somewhere between irresponsible, or a nut job! I really thought they were my friends - but they just don't understand.. and today I can't be bothered to explain.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Passive?!! Noooooo.......next week they need to watch their asses!!!

Jude - wobble away! It's perfectly fine but you know you are doing the right thing and we CANT WAIT to read all about your happy home birth! x

 

[Bournefree]

I know! It is so unlike me, is'nt it! What is going on>? I can usaully hold my own really well, and don't have any problems saying what I think about anything (but always keep it polite)

Feel like I'm 12 and have been spoken about behind the bike sheds or something!?.. and I'm not in the cool C-seciton gang.. because I couldn't possibly understand that, could I? (Sark)

I really need to draw on this groups energy and support. It happens to everyone doesn't it..? and here I was thinking it would be easier this time round.

Still like you say Lisa; rock on tomorrow or next week, when I feel all fired up again! Because my self-assurance took a knock today.

 

[snagglepat]

Jenni, not sure if you'll see this or not but during births I've seen many a high BP reading drop once the women gets into water so a bath might be a good plan. And drop some rescue remedy into a bottle of water and sip it regularly while you're there.

Whatever happens you know they're just being negative and it needn't affect your home birth plans. Why on earth would it make a difference if you were 37 or 38 weeks anyway? If your BP were dangerously high it wouldn't matter what gestation you were. For the record my BP has been above the allocated 20 points above the diastolic reading I got at booking for the last two months but because we have a calm and reasonable midwife it hasn't mattered because it's actually still just at the very top end of normal. Good luck today!

Thanks for the good wishes Cathy - I love the profile pic. You have a fabulous bump.

Jude, wow, what an exciting time. You've made an amazing choice to have a home birth. They are fantastic - I'm just awaiting my second any day now. Sending you tons of positive home birth energy over to Spain for you. Any labour dust you can spare would be much appreciated over here.

Bourne - we all have off days and it's even harder when you're in the minority with people you thought you could trust/be open with. I'm sure they didn't mean or realise they were being as hurtful as they were with their comments, they're just coming from a very different place. Let yourself have a wobble. Once you're all wobbled out you can get on with being the wonderfully confident amazon that we've come to know and love.

As for our neighbours, they were just being really inconsiderate and demanding. You want the story? We have some friends who own a camper van that is currently off the road and we've let them park it in our woods (at the back of our garden) for the last month or two. We're having some trees felled so we can start regenerating the under-storey and gradually build a coppice for our own wood supply so the van has had to move, so we told our friends they could park it at the back of our garden (we have a back gate onto the side lane). They're in the process of selling it so it's due to go in another 2-3 weeks anyway. Being parked just inside our side gate means it's now visible from our neighbours drive and they called up demanding we move it because it's ugly, it obstructs their view (of our garden/woods) and because the side gate isn't a legal access (it's not on the plans but has been there since well before we, and they moved here). They know we're due to have a baby any day, but even when DP assured them it would be gone in 2-3 weeks they were having none of it. What right have they to even comment on what we have in our own garden? It makes no noise, generates no light, there's no-one living in it so doesn't disturb them in the slightest. I agree it's not as pretty as a woodland view, but it's temporary. Just not temporary enough for them. Gah! I wouldn't dream on passing comment on what they put in their garden, even though their marble sculptures are extremely ugly, the lights they've put on their gate shines into our bedroom window and their security camera (in a tiny rural hamlet) looks into our garden.

So I threw a fit and DP had to be all diplomatic, took charge and decided that even though it was a load of rubbish we'd try and get our friends to move the van just to make the problem go away. So now our poor friends are having to come back tonight to move their van elsewhere when they have an 8 week baby of their own to deal with just so we can try and get a quiet life for a bit so I can actually get on and have this baby. Now that's enough to give you high BP!

Sorry for the rant.

Right, I'm going to go and bake fairy cakes with my daughter to try and calm down now.

Gina. x

 

[JudeMc]

Thanks guys.. bournefree...let you off with the Hey Jude Pun ;-)

Ok well lost my plug but contractions slowed down so lets see what the cleaning and farting about in the garden bring..

But really the few word you have sent me so far girls have made all the difference to my wobbles!!! THANK YOU!!!

 

[wtt :)]

Enjoy your home birth Jude!!

 

[Bournefree]

Thanks guys.. bournefree...let you off with the Hey Jude Pun ;-)

Ok well lost my plug but contractions slowed down so lets see what the cleaning and farting about in the garden bring..

But really the few word you have sent me so far girls have made all the difference to my wobbles!!! THANK YOU!!!

I know terrible wasn't it! I realised just before I hit submit what I had written!

I thought you were just going to say cleaning and farting -because early labour gave me lots of wind!! lol!

It's a great idea to distract yourself - I imagine your garden is much nicer weather than it is here at the mo. Is it nice enough you could sit out in some warm clothes and read a book for a while? I'd be there with you in a flash!
XxX

 

[Bournefree]

Gina, thank you for your lovely words of wisdom and clarity.

oh and what kind of plonkers are your neighbours! that would have me fired up for sure! It would be so good to stand your ground, as the legal bit is a load of codswallop - if it was there before you moved in then there would be a case for a convention covenant on the land for access... obscuring views is different.. esp light, but sounds as if they have more to worry about there - WTH do they need with CCTV and security lights, (that shine in your bedroom) in a hamlet??!! Arrrh!!! - but still "neighbourly" disputes are best to be solved in a gentle manor as possible, or it could become unbearable, and there is rarely a pretty end!

Bet it feels good to have a rant, then you can just think about shoving a couple of fingers upto them!
I think a certain amount of stress can actually help with labour! As sometimes you can only get truly relaxed after you have tensed up a bit. Like those techniques you can you where you contract all the muscles in your body, and slowly let each one go.. that feels amazing!
xXx

 

[Anababe]

Aw have a wonderul HB Jude

Jenni - Hope everything goes ok with your BP test

Ive been soo tired today my 3yr old is getting worse with his early wake ups - 5am this morning. I could have cried!! lol

 

[chuck]

oh f**k it. I just wrote a massive entry then clicked back to check what someone said.

f**k f**k f**king pregnancy brain.

Here's the short version.

Jude - you'll be great, it'll be great!

Snugglepat - bloody give birth already woman sod the neighbours you're making cake and you get to eat it too tell them to stick that in their pipes and smoke it.

Bourne - I get shitty days too and wonder why I cant just get over it like other EMCS mummies, I think actually we are getting over it in our own time and out in the opens so we honestly can come to some kind of closure - unlike so many women who 'get over it' to save face and never really come to terms with what they went through.

Jenni - hope all goes well with the BP, you have to stay strong and if your BP is higher than they like and you go at 37 weeks just keep saying you're having a HB and you expect someone to attend...they'll be there I'm sure.

 

[Bournefree]

Oh no that has happened to me sooo many times - either that or the internet drops out! Still I like your shortened version! Punchy!

I don't know if they were just having a shitty day or what? But we have been friends for well over a year - we all met when we were pregnant the first time round. I think that because we are all pregnant again, that it could highlight some of our differences. I didn't expect to have these slapped in my face though! Perhaps they have been thinking for a while that I'm some type of "evangelical, conceited homebirthing bitch¬!" I thought we had more respect for each other. I had nothing but love for them. Oh well I’m not in tears about it now - but still don’t understand the backlash, just because they don’t like my birth choices?, as they haven’t expressed that before.
xXx

 

[PeanutBean]

:wave: Wow Jude! Welcome to our group and best of luck gardening!

Bourne I get it. chuck too. If it's any consolation I'm stuck in the middle. I didn't have a section (even though the bets apparently were literally on) so some people are a bit, well what's my problem? I just wonder if some women either don't 'feel' the birth experience in the same way or if they maybe deny those feelings. I don't know. I'm not saying all women with a medical birth experience should feel hideous about it but sometimes when I hear what happened it's clear it should've been different. I find it hard to fight the fight even with people who've never given birth. The whole thing means too much to me sometimes to put myself in that vulnerable defensive position.

Thanks snaggle. This group has photos online one of which is a lotus birth so I'm thinking they'll be a good sort!

 

[chuck]

If theyre pg again too you would think they might have a different outlook.

Perhaps they're scared of looking at what happened to them and fighting to get something better - they've given in to the clinical model of care and 'Dr's are knights in shining armor' attitude after all we must be mad taking all these risks wanting VBAC's, HBAC's homebirths etc!!!

 

[MandaAnda]

Just a quick catch-up read! Whew, I worked yesterday and missed so much!

Zara, let me know about the home birth + MOD housing thing, as I very well may be in your boat when next preggers because.....DH passed his medical and pre-joining fitness today!!! Now awaiting dates to do the firefighter fitness test and general RAF fitness test - then basic training! I'm so proud of him (and excited for us since him working means more mummy time for me!).

 

[pimento1979]

Manda, fabulous news! So happy for you guys!!

 

[chuck]

mmmmm Firefighter.

*ahem*

scuse me.

 

[pimento1979]

mmmmm Firefighter.

*ahem*

scuse me.

Hehe, literally made me LOL!