Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[2ndtimeAbz]

oh jenni, please dont be too hard on yourself xxxxxxx take care and dont shut urself away xxxxxxxx

 

[PeanutBean]

Oh jenni . Huge Take as much time as you need. We'll always be here for you.

 

[SmokyJoe78]

Jenni

 

[kiwimama]

No Jenni your body is not useless. You grew and nurtured your baby for over 9 mths, that is a miracle in itself. Unfortunately no matter how much we plan, sometimes things just turn to crap and it is not something we have any control over.
Be gentle with yourself, grieve for the birth you wanted, but didn't get (this time around) and take time for yourself. We would love to see you back when you are feeling up to it.

 

[9babiesgone]

Jenni, I dont know you well, but my first 2 kids were born in hospitals, and one was not natural! so dont feel bad!! You are a great mom, and a great person,I am sure bc all these people care so much about you.

 

[LuckyD]

Jenni as the others have said, your body is not useless xxx We are all here for you when you feel like coming back

 

[Anababe]

Oh Jenni Your body is definitely not useless. We're all here when you feel you want to come back xx

 

[Amy_K]

Dear Jenni, The period after your baby is born is a roller coaster in so many ways, you must take the time you need to nuture your baby and heal yourself. Try not to give into negativity, and don't be angry with yourself for anything. You have achieved something amazing!

 

[Amy_K]

Had depressing hospital appointment today, in stark contrast to the excellent one I had last week.

Firstly didn't see the same consultant as last week, saw this other doctor who was not very nice at all. Her opener was 'You are 16 days overdue why are you in clinic and not on Labour ward?' She was really rude and tried talking about me to my husband whilst I was behind the curtain getting dressed, to the point I had to ask her to stop and wait because I didn't like being discussed as if I wasn't there!

She did the most aggressive sweep I've ever had, but I don't care if it will do the job. I'm 2cm dilated but still (STILL!) only partially effaced.

She was really really, pushy about me agreeing to an induction date there and then, but I said that we needed to discuss it in private first. I also said that I wanted another cord doppler doing before I made up my mind. So, the original nice consultant then did the doppler, which was all totally fine and normal again, but by this time I had already agreed to go in on Wednesday at 8am for induction.

I know it sounds silly given how far over I am, but I really feel that she pressurised me into agreeing to something that I'm not entirely comfortable with. I would have preferred to have had another ctg on Wednesday and then go in on Thursday for induction.

Hubby and I have agreed to mull on it tonight and call the ward in the morning if I still feel strongly that I want to wait until Thursday.

I guess stuff could still kick off naturally in the meantime though. Fingers, toes etc crossed.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh Amy that's terrible. You have done sooooo well to get this far and have been so strong. Dont be bullied. If wednesday is the day you are induced that should be because YOU decide it's best for you not because you've been bullied.

Keep the faith honey x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Amy have you seen this FB page? Ten Month Mamas

 

[SmokyJoe78]

Oh I love the 10 - month mama thing - there used to be a website - very inspirational - which is what you need when the consultants are pressurising you - have been thinking of you Amy_K

 

[luna28]

Another one here who had awful; mw appt.
Don't think they take more care of their own and are more truthful than (am a student mw) anymore than women who they assume don't know anything I was blatently told clinical lies today and it disgusts me:
well if the mws have their way I won't be getting a hb anyway my appt today wasn't with my usual SOM mw but anoherr mw who is also a SOM, she started looking through my notes asking if I was referred to a consultant, er no says I why? oh say's she becasue of the BORDERLINE tfts (now prior to pregnant I had tfts done about 2/3 times and while my tsh was always normal my ft4 was just under reference range GP was happy with this said was normal for me and just repeat peiodically.
At booking I mentioned I would need tft checked so checked and NAD then checked again in december by GP NAD even ft4s totally normal!) so there is no reason for this appt at all I have never even been diagnosed with any thyroid/endocrine problems! and I feel fine at the moment, she said it's so cons can sign me off for a HB (even if I did have a thyroid problem I know it has no effect on labour anyway so no reason not to have a homebirth plus all my scans have shown a baby on the 50th percentile)
she then said re my hb which was 9.9 at 28 weeks that it was too low and I was at risk of bleeding and my uterus wouldn't contract hmm no this is another obstretric myth! I realise low hb mean if i DID have a pph my hb would drop even lower possibly putting me at risk 9.9 isn't even that low it's a fraction off 10 and nice guidelines suggest birthing at a obstetric unit if hb 8.5 or under) then she starts on the fact I have had increased wbc in urine quite a few times and 3 utis in pregnancy hmm again since when is this a contraindication for hb and why are you only bringing it up now at 36 weeks. She said them dropping off the homebirth kit would be dependent on the outcome of these 3 things i.e only if they are all normal!
After ALL this she checks my bp which is of course the highest it has ever been at 143/92 so sent me off to hospital where all subsequent readings are around the 110/60 mark
I feel so despondent now and have had enough, I don't even want these mws anywhere near me right now I feel like having an unassisrted birth.

 

[PeanutBean]

Forgive me, but where the fuck do they get off? So furious for both of you. Having an angry day anyway arguing about how no not all (most?) mws and doctors treat women with respect during pregnancy and labour. So cross.

Stay strong ladies and do it 'cause you want to not 'cause they rudely said you had to.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Omg Luna. That's outrageous. I don't know how you keep your cool when you're being spoken to like that.

Be strong. You of all people can make an informed and educated choice.

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

god this has got me worrying. . First time my oh is coming with me to the midwife tomorrow and I'm really hoping it all goes well. i've swapped mws cause my usual one is just plain rude and refused to discuss hb with me as it was 'too early' why won't some even discuss it until 36 weeks!? Isn't 37 full term? So we get a week to prepare!! Thank god I've learnt so much from you all here or I'd be clueless!

 

[gertrude]

I've flagged up I want a HB but the new MW (the grumpy one) said I had to wait until 34w when they'll probably send me to a growth scan then we can work from there

what she doesn't know is I've been reading on here, and talking to a different MW and learnt probably more than she knows

 

[Amy_K]

Well after a long, long heart to heart with hubby and quite of lot of crying to get it out of my system, I have decided to stick with the Wednesday appointment for induction.

I am going to make a complaint about the bullying and patronising way that the doctor behaved in our appointment yeserday.

And, just like my first induced birth, I will fight every step of the way to give my body the longest opportunity to progress naturally and at it's own pace, as difficult as I know that will be.

 

[PeanutBean]

Amy. Hopefully LO will start to come before your appointment.

 

[Amy_K]

Yes, I hope so! Have heard so many people with tales of women who go into labour the night before their induction. However, I have also heard a million tales of women who go into labour at any number of various points before getting to 17 days overdue too! Going to spend the day straightening house and getting things ship shape.