Home Birthers & Hopefuls!

[PeanutBean]

My mum's called Lydia.

 

[lousielou]

Sorry for the wobbly ladies - you've made me feel better. I'm going to write a thorough birth plan and stick it in my notes. I'll also contact Mrs SOM to clarify a few points with her. I should have read through them while she was here - I was stupid to think she was actually writing down my real life comments

With regards to the line she wants in my arm (I can't remember what it's called, but not an IV or cannula?) she said that it was for 'easy access in case of haemorrhage' (I'd just said I want a physiological third stage). Why might that be easier than the injection? Am I missing something?

 

[lousielou]

ARGH! Just managed to decipher some more of her writing. 'Low threshold for transfer'?? WTF?? All I said was we'd transfer if it was strongly recommended - that we wouldn't want to put either of our lives at risk if there was a genuine emergency!! Bloody hell, really not happy now.

 

[PeanutBean]

I'm not sure I really understand what that means...

 

[lousielou]

I suspect it means 'Easy to persuade her to go into hospital'.

 

[PeanutBean]

Well that's what I wondered!!! That or not tolerant of the idea of transfer...

 

[Mervs Mum]

That's effed up

 

[chuck]

Hmmmm can you not errr lose those pages...it would be a shame if coffee got spilt on them.

In all seriousness though that is shocking.

You need to get that changed, go through each point and write your corrections, ensure they are put in in place of what she wrote down.

Not certain how to advise you to go about it though. Arrange a meeting with her and have someone else present to witness it?

 

[caro103]

the whole meeting sounds messed up louise. Def try and arrange another mtg with a witness and get DH to help you voice your concerns. Hope you get it sorted!

We don't even have a home visit here, they just take my word for it that i've got stuff needed for the birth! feel so lucky

 

[KandyKinz]

With regards to the line she wants in my arm (I can't remember what it's called, but not an IV or cannula?) she said that it was for 'easy access in case of haemorrhage' (I'd just said I want a physiological third stage). Why might that be easier than the injection? Am I missing something?

it's called a saline lock. you don't have any risk factors for hemorrhage have you or had a prev section? kinda weird....

Anyways just remember that just because something is written on paper it doesn't mean you can't alter things as they happen eg if you and your partner aren't getting the privacy you need then you can demand it at the time.... and if you feel all is progressing normally you can decline v/e's at any time.

And excuse me if this isn't my place but if I were you I'd tell hubby that if he feels that your were not getting your point and wishes effectively across to the midwives that he too has a role and responsibility to clarify things and advocate for you. That is one of the major roles of birth partner is it not???

 

[KandyKinz]

ARGH! Just managed to decipher some more of her writing. 'Low threshold for transfer'?? WTF?? All I said was we'd transfer if it was strongly recommended - that we wouldn't want to put either of our lives at risk if there was a genuine emergency!! Bloody hell, really not happy now.

I read that to mean you are not very willing to transfer...

 

[MandaAnda]

Hmmm, "low threshold for transfer" reads to me like it wouldn't take much for them to suggest a transfer.

You know what I'd do? They're patient-held notes, right? You have them, they don't? I'd cross lines through what she wrote and write something along the lines of "written in error" and sign/date it. If we write in notes in error in the hospital, that's what we do. I would then make my own entry. They're your notes. I'd put a copy of your birth plan in there (hole punch them and affix them in the notes) and ensure the team of midwives that will be on call have a copy.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm with Kandy, I read that as you're not very willing to transfer.

 

[KandyKinz]

Feeling very p*ss*d off right now!

Hubby's been putting off for awhile now cause he's been working and is too tired when he gets home blah blah blah..... then he gets today off but won't do anything cause he would rather relax and watch hockey What a lovely way to make me feel like sh*t!

I've tried initiating several times this week and have been rejected every single time! Well SCREW him!

 

[lousielou]

Thanks again ladies.

I had an absolutely awful night's sleep last night - I just kept going over and over everything. I feel like I'm being put under pressure to conform to protocol, even when I am categorically stating I don't want to. The SOM managed to twist my 'absolutely not's into 'maybe's, and then went of to have the audacity to record it as 'consent'! To be blunt, a part of me is sorely tempted to by-pass them altogether now, and just give birth on our own.

I've started writing up an amended birth plan, which I will ensure everyone is aware supersedes the one written in my notes.

OH and I have made up, but I'm still quite cross with him. He is twenty times more assertive than I am, and I agree Kandy - if he though I was going against what he knows I wanted because I was being pressured, I'd have quite liked him to have stood up for me a bit. Sorry, that makes me sound really wimpy...

 

[PeanutBean]

Lou we're treading the same ground. I've been awake since 3am (gmt) and when I was asleep I had a lengthy dream about organising some sort of swab for GBS at the doctors. Sigh. I too feel like bypassing them completely.

 

[Anababe]

Thankyou everyone for the congrats. I havent got time to write much at the minute so just a quick post.

My birth experience was perfect and everything I could have asked for. Maybe i would have been better to have had the MWs there a bit sooner but all went wonderfully and Im so proud to have caught my daughter myself. MervsMum was amazing I cant thank her enough for the support Ive had. I think I started to wobble abit towards the end and felt a bit scared when things were progressing faster than I expected but MMum kept me calm the whole time and the birth went lovely.

Lydia is absolutely gorgeous, I will put my birth story/photos on when I get a chance over the next couple of days

Thankyou to everyone in this thread, I have learnt so much from all of you and I dont think Id have got the perfect labour and birth I had wanted if I hadnt been here

xxx

 

[lousielou]

So pleased for you hun

 

[Bournefree]

Congratulations Anababe!!! It sounds so wonderful! Well done you!

Lou,
I couldn't agree more with your plans to change your notes! That is shocking and I know how it can feel so underhand! I had a similar experience with my first pregnancy.. and did what Manda said - crossed through it (so it was still legible), and put in my own comments.. Then called the SOM and complained and told her what my wishes were and what I really wanted!

By the way - I would think that "low threshold for transfer" would mean that they wouldn't have to persuade you very much to go in. My reason is that a threshold literally means a step or barrier (like over the threshold of your front door), so to another room or area... low and it is easy to get to that other place. Like " low pain threshold" you are more likely to feel pain.
Still this doesn’t matter - you are going to change it and make your feelings and thoughts very clear, I’m sure!

XxX

 

[Bournefree]

Kandy - have you tried everything? Sure he will come round.. try not to make it about sex.. use those womenly wiles to get him.
My OH is easy to pursade with when I'm putting oil or cream on my breasts.. he can be easy to manipulate, as he is such a teenager at times and I don't have to even be doing it in a sexy way! ;-)
XxX