Homebirth (and other natural brithing) Chats

[tankel]

Hi just looking for a group of ladies to chat with about "hippie" pregnancy--or so my DH calls it. I hope that this space can become a place where we can support each other. Everyone is welcome!

This is my 2nd pregnancy; and I am super excited about birthing at home. I am planing on skipping all scans and although my MW has used the doppler on me once (I have been spotting on and off since the beginning and she just wanted to make sure there was a HB) I hope to avoid the use of the doppler again.


I have been having some mild legs cramps recently and was wondering if any of you knew of a remedy? Also any thoughts about co-sleeping? The dh is tall and takes up a lot of space in our small bed so co-sleeping is not an option, but I already have a bassinet that can go beside the bed for the first few months. Can any of you mommies out there give me some advice for once the LO out-grows the bassinet?

 

[NDH]

I've planned to homebirth since I was 16 but by the time I was pregnant with my first I couldn't find a mw (and didn't have a crunch circle to ask as I was new to the country) and by the time I was 6 months preggo and did find one, we had both been unemployed for 4 months so affording one was out of the question.
I did have a pretty good hospital birth with a lovely mw who used to do homebirths.
My second pregnancy our financial situation still wasn't great so ee opted for the hospital again and hired a doula since I knew I couldn't count on a fabulous midwife again.
I had far more scans and tests done in pregnancy than I was comfortable with but I hate confrontation and couldn't bring myself to say no.
Then she was persistent breech and the last few weeks of pregnancy I was a ball of anxiety and had several panic attacks over the fact my hospital wasn't breech friendly and was pressuring me into a c section. I revisited a homebirth but the mw wasn't able to take me on so late in pregnancy, but with her and my doula encouraging me I found a hospital 3 hours away with a breech clinic where I gave birth. The birth itself was awesome and empowering but as soon as her head was out everything went to crap and my wishes were ignored and my baby whisked away to be "resuscitated" (her apgar was 6 so would have been fine to have skin to skin with her Ford attached) for the apparent purpose of educating a new Dr, my husband told me later, while my wishes for physiological 3rd stage were ignored by the Dr who pulled my placenta out causing ragged membranes and making me pass tennis ball size clots and then have to be hooked up to a drips to "pph".
I was bullied and ridiculed for some of my choices in between being abandoned for hours still in the freezing air conditioned labour room and every time we asked to be discharged we would he told her temp was 0.1 degree too low (maybe get us out of the a/c...) and then said they'd see what they found do and we'd be left alone for hours again until someone would for to move us to maternity, feigning not to have been told we had sale to be discharged and then not move us and disappear again. Eventually we were told the Dr would come discharge us when he finished in surgery as we would need to sign a form that we were leaving AMA and still hours later dh went to the nurses station and asked what was preventing us from just walking out the door? Miraculously someone immediately provided the forms to he signed so their butts were covered and surprise the Dr didn't have to be there.

The experience has made me determined not to give birth in hospital again barring an actual emergency, but I didn't realise the trauma it left me with until I was pregnant again in October and discovered the only mw in our area was no longer practicing, and the panic attacks resumed at the thought of going to hospital again.
So that led me to considering freebirth which really has been freeing for me. My whole mindset around birth has shifted (and in turn other things too, but I was always teetering on the edge of being a Hippy anyway )


Leg cramps is usually magnesium deficiency, so an Epsom salt foot soak or magnesium oil on your feet, or eating magnesium rich foods will usually help.

We have always co slept with crib side carred to our bed. Remove one side and use foam or drill new holes in the crib to march the mattress levels. Then baby has their own sleeping space and it can last well into toddlerhood. Even without dd2 using it for the last 6 months we kept it up just cause it gave us more room as I could sleep right at the edge lol.

Not sure what we'll do in this house as our room isn't big enough for a side car here...

 

[tankel]

It's stories like yours that really made my mind up against hospital births. I'm sure many births go well in hospital, but the horror stories are too much for me. I am fierce when I am bullied and I just can't handle some man (or woman but mostly man) telling me what to do durring labor! I would love to do a free birth because I feel like it would be really empowering, but my dh is baby and pregnancy ignorant and I think for out first time a mw might be best. Plus the whole idea makes him anxious. Luckily, I've found a mw who is willing to be as hands off (or on) as I want her to be. She said basically she is going to sit in another room and knit until baby arrives unless there is an emergency.

My sister had a HB and her MW was constantly checking her and forcing her to move so I am glad that mine is open to the idea of letting me labor the way I need to for me.

I have been taking magnesium supplements for years (for leg cramps) but I fell off the wagon when my MS got really bad--an boy did it get bad! I guess I should pull the pills back out.

That is a good idea about the crib. Our bedroom in pretty tiny, so I will have to find something on the smallish side--which seems hard to do in the USA where bigger = better!

 

[NDH]

Great you've found a knitting mw who you like! I'm sure dh would feel better if we had one too, and I definitely would have as well before the experiences that led me to being confident to UC. If I hadnt conceived Bug I may never have started down this path so I'm grateful for what I learned in his short life...

It's a shame your sister had a pushy one (unless that was what she wanted but it doesn't sound like it) its do sad too how many MEDwives are doing homebirths. I hear so many stories where women basically have a hospital birth at home between al the stipulations and exams and bossing around etc.

As for the crib, do you know anyone handy with woodworking? I bet a custom one could be built pretty eadily to fit in your space (and my own for that matter). And if you found a bored retired person it probably wouldn't cost much more than supplies either.

 

[tankel]

HA I love the way you think. I'll have to look into finding someone more handy than I am.

My sister loved her midwife, but I knew that I did not want one that was like here. There does seem to be a lot of MEDwives as you call them. There are so many laws around here that many do not have a choice. It's sad that pregnancy and labor are treated like diseases. I prefer to assume that everything is going well unless some evidence against it proves otherwise and not the other way around.

When the time comes, are you planning to have your daughters at the birth?

 

[NDH]

If they want to be and are awake yes. I think Sara will be keen. We've watched lots of birth videos together (many at her request) and she loves watching babies be born. She was very upset she didn't get to see my cousins birth. My sister doesn't live near us but we would have lots of Skype calls and Sara would always ask to see the baby. Shed show her belly and Sara would say no I want to see him be born : haha: after his birth when we first saw him on Skype Sara wailed "but I wanted to see him come out your vagina!" thankfully my sister was more amused than upset seeing as she ended up with a cesarean.

 

[tankel]

Ha that is hilarious. Your daughters sure are cute. When I was little I thought babies were pooped out...as you can guess, I did not watch any babies being born in person or on video.

 

[NDH]

Well she's only 3 and does also get confused and day babies come out mommys bum, but she's seen a few hands and knees births too and it does rather look it from that view

 

[tankel]

So I started taking my magnesium pills again and those pesky leg cramps flew the coop! My midwife also told me I need to eat a small amount of unpasteurized, fermented food 3 times a day to help with my gut. Sauerkraut and pickles, here I come.

 

[NDH]

Yay for leg cramps disappearing!

I need to get back to fermenting as well. I had been going to make my own kombucha but I ordered a scoby that took a week to arrive and it was covered with stringy green things so I threw it out. But ya I need to just start fermenting my own cabbage and beets .

Just bear in mind that store bought pickles and sauerkraut aren't really fermented most of the time.

 

[tankel]

Oh I know. I've been looking up recipes for 15 day pickles and already bought a nifty jar to make them in.

Too bad I HATE kombucha. My sisters all make and drink it, but I can't stand the stuff.

 

[efairie]

Hi
Nice to see some home births being planned .
My 3 year old was born at home and it was wonderful , the best experience of my life. Now were expecting number 2 , he/she will also be home birthed with her big brother present.
Is anybody else planning/ have exrerience of siblings being present during birth?
I'm also hoping to get my placenta dried and encapsulated, and delayed cord clamping - anybody else ?

 

[tankel]

Welcome.

This is my first baby, so no other children will be present at the birth, but I am planning on having my 3 sisters there as well as my mom (and my dh ).

I have not decided anything about the placenta. I know that consuming it can be very beneficial, but I'm not really sure what I want to do, try to cook it and eat it, encapsulate it, or just plant it. May I ask why you are choosing to encapsulate it? Maybe it will help me make up my mind.

As for delayed cord clamping...YES PLEASE! My MW would not do it any other way.

 

[NDH]

Care to share the pickle recipe? I love pickles!
Have you tried the kombucha with different tea bases? I've heard that fan make a difference (unless its the fizzy part you don't like)

Hi efaerie and Congrats

I planned to have my 17 month old at my hospital birth of her sister, and she was semi there. Dh had finally gotten her to sleep at 6am after she woke at 2am on the drive, and then she woke half an hour later whole I was pushing. If I'd had my doula as originally planned then I think she would have been fine, but she was a bit distressed to wake up to a room full of people hearing her mommy making loud noises, and she quickly was sent out of the room to my mom who was waiting in the hall, but brought back in pretty quickly after the birth

I do plan to let my kids, who will be 4 and nearly 3, be present I'd they wish but they'll have their own support person who will ne able to hopefully gauge how well they're handling things.

 

[NDH]

Oh and we will definitely be delayed cutting - probably a few hours. I don't want to lotus birth but do want to make sure baby gets as much blood as possible. My first was delayed about half an hour (maybe less?) And my second was clamped immediately while dh and I both told them not to and the Drs lied to us about it being a necessity

I won't be encapsulating or otherwise consuming (though will immediately in the event of pph) but I'm undecided what ill do with it. I'm thinking a placenta print on a belly cast? And then maybe just freeze it until we move somewhere permanently that we can plant a tree over it.

 

[efairie]

Delayed cord clamping is'nt the norm here in the UK. When my son was born I wasnt as well informed on it , but this time I am and I shall insist.

The benefits of consuming the placenta just sound so amazing , but to be honest I really dont think i would be able to eat it . So encapsulating it seems to be the way to go , there is a lovely lady local to me who is a registerd midwife and also does placenta encapsulating.
I do love the idea of planting it, but we dont have a garden.

I am a little nervous how my son would take seeing me in that way , but I guess if we try and make it as much of a positive thing , so that he doesnt get scared. Hes such a mummys boy , we are so incredibly close and like two peas in a pod , I cant imagine not having him there with me.

 

[tankel]

How is everyone today?

 

[fuschia]

Hi everyone !

I am planning a hbac (home birth after c section)/so officially going against the grain here !

Fingers crossed all will continue to go well. There was a little concern over me measuring small at last midwife appointment. A private scan showed all was well although not much fluid. Private clinic said this was fine but when I am seen by NHS on Monday I hope that they agree and don't try and suggest induction in hospital

I have hired a birthing pool, been doing hypno birthing and am just trying to be as positive as possible to bring my son into our world in a calm and natural way !!

X

 

[NDH]

Very exciting Fuschia I think vbac is much easier to achieve at home than in a hospital so good for you for going against the grain. I know several women who have HBACed and even some who have FBAMC (freebirth after multiple cesareans) and I look forward to reading about yours you'll rock it I'm sure.

 

[NDH]

I know its super early but I already find myself planning how I will rearrange furniture to fit my birthbirth pool and how I'll decorate my birth space, and trying to come up with a way to make our yard more private just in case birthing under one of our trees strikes my fancy though march is early autumn here so it will likely have cooled down enough by then it won't be as appealing as it would have been in January or February.