Homebirths - Selfish or selfless?

[Meredith2010]

After reading some recent news stories about people dying in labour/shortly afterwards when having homebirths, I was wondering what other people's opinions on this are?

Obviously things can go wrong in hospitals or out of them, but personally I would never go for a homebirth as I want to give myself and LO the best chance possible if something did happen, no matter how unlikely that is. I know that people have to be low risk to have homebirths, but no pregnancy is no risk and things like postpartum hemorrhages are scarily common.

The most commonly given reason I hear for people wanting a homebirth is that they don't like hospitals/want a more homely, comfortable environment. Whilst I totally understand that (and yes, hospitals are horrible), personally I would never put my desire to be comfortable and to have a nice experience above the well-being of my unborn child.

I also understand that homebirths are more likely to be intervention free, but is it not possible to refuse intervention in a hospital, that way you still get the safety of a medical environment with professionals available in seconds but also the ability to do things as naturally as possible?

So I was just wondering what other people's opinions were on the subject?

 

[mum22ttc#3]

I don't think there either TBH, just a mum to be's personal choice.
I haven't really looked into homebirths as it just isn't for me, but I would never think that a women was selfish for choosing one.

I don't believe for one minute though that any women would ever choose having a homebirth down to fact that she thought being comfortable at home was more important than the safety and welfare of her unborn baby.
I am sure those that do choose a homebirth have done their research and not just gone into it blindly so making that kind of judgment I think is a little insulting, and like I say I haven't even had one, nor do I plan too.

 

[Meredith2010]

Oh I definitely didn't mean to be insulting and I'm sorry if it comes across that way - everyone looks at things differently and I'm sure there is an argument that giving birth in hospital runs the risk of putting your child at risk from viruses like MRSA etc etc so one could say that having a child in hospital is dangerous and selfish if you look at things from that point of view.

I'm just genuinely interested - I'm sure no one would choose a homebirth without doing loads of research into it, which I haven't done as the thought never really entered my mind. I'm not saying that people who go for a homebirth ARE putting their needs before those of their child - just that it's one way of looking at it and that was my starting point of the debate really (in the same way that choosing a hospital means risking more intervention therefore could be seen selfish in it's own kind of way).

 

[Nibblenic]

I think it comes down to personal choice. I dont think home births are any less safe.

Speaking as someone who had a labour that 'went wrong' the midwife knew my labour was going wrong about 6 hours before Lo was born. I would have been taken in at that first point.
At a home birth you have one2one midwife care, where labouring in hospital you can be in a room on your own for an hour without seeing anyone.

I would never have the chance of a home birth as I have had and will have a high risk pregnancy.
It is only Low risk pregnancy that have that opportunity.
I dont think it is any less safe or any more safe. Its just personal choice.

 

[Lightworker]

Yay! Good thread.

For me its not an issue of selfish, or selfless. I think, coming from a more natural approach toward parenting, that homebirths have great advantages. I know with my third, I would opt for a homebirth because I had two hospital births, and whilst the labours were great, I hated being in the hospital, it was very regimented. The meals sucked. The bed was tiny and hard. I was lonely, I just wanted my DH there the whole time, and they didn't allow that. I don't think that is conducive for new moms. They don't tolerate co-sleeping (the beds are tiny) I just hated the first night on the ward. They take ages to discharge you even when there are no medical impediments. So for me, a homebirth would be ideal.

Saying that, I do agree that from a clinical point of view, where better to give birth than in a hospital, where should anything go wrong, doctors are there on tap (most of the time).

I was going to say that for centuries, women have been giving birth without medical intervention as such, and while I firmly believe this is true, and that I wish we had a more natural approach toward childbirth, I also have to acknowledge that in some countries, especially in Africa, the rate of maternal mortality is shocking because the women, for a variety of reasons, did not access medical care. Women die needlessly.

x

 

[smelly07]

I think is a personal choice....i'm sure a parent researches and chooses what they think is best for themselves and their baby.........Personally for me i wouldnt have a homebirth, even though i hate hopsitals with a passion, i definitely felt safer giving birth in a hospital, although both or my pregnancies were classed as 'high risk' and i was induced 3 weeks early with my first, my experience was a pleasant one, i was only in hopsital 1 night with my first and only about 5 hours with my second. x

 

[sparkle_1979]

I think it depends how close to a hospital you are, for me Im an hour away from one so no way would I. If i had with both my girls they may not be here today, if something had of happened would I have forgiven myself? I doubt it very much!

My midwife told me she hated doing them and couldn't understand woman not wanting to be surround my doctors and equipment should anything go wrong. Of course though it's a personal choice, just not something I'd want to do x

 

[tina3747]

I think it depends how close to a hospital you are, for me Im an hour away from one so no way would I. If i had with both my girls they may not be here today, if something had of happened would I have forgiven myself? I doubt it very much!

My midwife told me she hated doing them and couldn't understand woman not wanting to be surround my doctors and equipment should anything go wrong. Of course though it's a personal choice, just not something I'd want to do x

Wss^^^

It would depend on the length of time it took to get to the hospital for me personally. I wouldn't like to say its selfish as people have their reasons but It does make me really woder about women knowing full well they have a high risk pregnancy but still push for a home birth... I can't see why you'd take the risk.
My friend is a community midwife and she hates home births. Her area is pretty much out in the sticks, she knows fully what can go wrong at any time and the labour can change in the matter of minutes. The case a few weeks ago on one born when the baby got stuck... I imagine the baby would almost certainly died had it not been for the huge amount of staff in the room.

I can understand people with other children wanting to be at home if they've no baby sitters on hand to help. But for me, it's a no. I wouldn't give birth at home.

 

[Lightworker]

As per PP comments its clear its not really a "choice" as such. Because many medical professionals will be against it. I have only had one friend who actually had a supportive midwife. Obviously being medics, thats their approach, and it is understandable, but I note perhaps they don't really think, or know the psychological impact of giving birth in a hospital viz-a-viz the likelihood of what could be termed unnecessary intervention i.e. maybe they discount the fact that women who give birth in hospital will more likely opt for things like epidural, pethidine etc which can then in turn lead to the need for medical intervention.

 

[marley2580]

I chose to have homebirths with both my previous babies. My first was low risk and I was supported wonderfully by the midwives, I had to transfer in for an emergency section. My second was a HBAC attempt - so I was classed as high risk. I did a hell of a lot of research and decided that a VBAC was the best thing for both me and my baby and that I stood a much better chance of having a successful VBAC at home, where I would not be under pressure to have continuous monitoring, be expected to dilate within a set time etc. In the end I had to have another emergency section, but I feel ok about that as I know that there is nothing that I could have done differently to achieve the VBAC, I don't think I could say the same had I laboured in hospital - I would always be thinking 'what if...'

I think a lot of people become so focused on the good outcome for the baby that the mother is forgotten about a bit. A traumatic birth can really affect a woman in a negative way (not saying it does with all). I had a relatively negative experience with my second section and for the last 2 and a half years I've thought about it a lot. I feel it contributed to my struggle to cope in the first couple of months of my DD2's life. This time around I have become even more of a control freak about trying to ensure that my next birth experience is a positive one. Of course it's important to have a healthy baby at the end, but is that all that matters? I would argue not.

 

[sparkle_1979]

sorry I do have to disagree with you there...I believe even if it means Im under more stress, pressure whatever that my baby arrives safe. My baby comes first and if it's medically safer to give birth in a hospital then that's where I want my baby to be x

 

[Lightworker]

a hospital birth is not necessarily "best for baby" and surely ANY AND ALL mothers who choose a homebirth are doing it with their baby's health and wellbeing as the primary consideration. Which mother doesn't put their baby first?

 

[sparkle_1979]

I think ( just my opinion ) if you live a fair distance from a hospital, or have any problems that class you as high risk then you're not putting the safety of the baby first. how can you be?

 

[caz81]

I think that generally home births are 'selfish' as the majority of times that people say their reasons for them it is about the mother and her experience. That is not to say that I think home births are wrong or that the reasons for them are not valid but I dont think anyone has a home birth to be selfless? I really wanted a home birth with my second but was high risk- I could have pushed and had it but then my child would have been dead as this birth again ended in an emergency section. I think choosing to have a hospital birth was selfless as it caused me a lot of emotional trauma to have one after what I went through the first time but it was best for my child.

ETA: Im not necessarily using the word selfish as a bad thing but out of the two options of selfish or selfless I think selfish has to be chosen

 

[marley2580]

I'm not saying for a second that mothers don't want what's best for baby, but when doctors etc will do anything to ride roughshod over a woman't thoughts and feelings, claiming that it's best for baby then this can lead to trauma for a woman. There are cases where a woman has been pressured and told that her baby will die if she doesn't allow a certain procedure only to discover later that it wasn't necessary after all. Sometimes it is needed, yet the way you are dealt with by medical professionals is truly awful and can traumatise you. Doctors etc should view women as partners in the process of giving birth IMO, rather than just expecting them to do as they're told. When you have a homebirth, you are inviting a medical professional into your home, this puts you on a more equal footing with them and (usually) the birth is done as a partnership, with the MWs and the woman working together for the best possible outcome.

 

[marley2580]

I also think it's important to note that women and babies die during hospital births as well. Of course there are risks to home births, but there are also risks to hospital births. For example, I watch One Born Every Minute and almost every woman on it spends a significant amount of her labour lying on her back with a monitor on - yet it has been proven that continual monitoring leads to a higher risk of intervention, which is a risk for both mothers and babies. Every woman must weigh up the risks for herself and make a decision based on what is right for her circumstances - that will not always be a hospital birth.

 

[Lightworker]

Is it not fair to say that the mother's experience/condition/emotional wellbeing during pregnancy and childbirth is inextricably bound to her baby's condition, so even where it appears she is doing it for "herself", isn't she really doing it for baby?

 

[caz81]

Is it not fair to say that the mother's experience/condition/emotional wellbeing during pregnancy and childbirth is inextricably bound to her baby's condition, so even where it appears she is doing it for "herself", isn't she really doing it for baby?

It depends in what context, in a straight forward 'low risk' pregnancy then yes I could see your point of view, in a 'high risk' pregnancy when medical professionals believe it to be risky to have a home birth but the mother insists anyway so she gets 'the experience she wants' then no I disagree she is not doing it for her baby then but for herself.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I also think it's important to note that women and babies die during hospital births as well. Of course there are risks to home births, but there are also risks to hospital births. For example, I watch One Born Every Minute and almost every woman on it spends a significant amount of her labour lying on her back with a monitor on - yet it has been proven that continual monitoring leads to a higher risk of intervention, which is a risk for both mothers and babies. Every woman must weigh up the risks for herself and make a decision based on what is right for her circumstances - that will not always be a hospital birth.

I think we all know that sadly things goes wrong in hospitals too....but where is a baby safer if things go wrong? surely this has to be obvious too?

 

[Natasha2605]

I don't think it's either. It's just a choice. Some people choose to have water births, some people choose to have home births etc. It's not like it's a case of you being able to turn up at a mw appt and say '' i'm having a home birth'' and that's that. There's so many conditions about your pregnancy that have to be met and they do warn you that hospital transfer cannot always be avoided. I think as long as you accept that then a home birth is not selfish at all. If you just point blank refused against medical advice to go to hospital then yeah, I'd say that was selfish but I highly doubt many people would.

Personally for me, I feel more comfortable going into hospital. I plan to labour at home like I did for Summer and then just go in when the pain was too much. I am only about 15 minutes away from the hospital. Some people feel more comfortable at home than in a hospital or birthing center and that is their right to do so, as long as either can accept the pros and cons of both and possible scenarios!