hormone crash after ERPC

[Blu10]

Hi Hopie, it sounds as though your counselling session was really beneficial for you and I think deep down we all know that she is so right. Like you Im keen to jump to the acceptance stage.is there any news on the job front yet? I hooe its a tad warmer over in not so sunny new york hun.
I have to say the last two days have been better for me, although I am thinking alot about wanting to TTC again and then stressing about going through all of this again, its so rubbish. I should be 13 weeks today and was due my first scan so im really glad i kept busy at work to keep my mind of it all.
Jaspie - i hope your counselling session also went well today, would love to hear how you got in if you wish to share x
You ladies are the best support x

 

[jaspie]

Oh blu it's so hard not to keep counting the weeks and milestones isn't it. Glad the last couple of days have been better for you.
Hopie your session sounds fab! It was helpful even reading what she said to you. Have you got another appointment booked?

I've been great these last couple of days, so positive and thankful for all the good things I have. But then today something happened at work which just changed my mood in a flash. I was sad again over nothing really it was such a small thing. Anyway I'm feeling better again now.
The counselling was great, we talked about all sorts inc the loss. Mainly my anxiety and how i can control it. As i spend a lot of time being upset and worried about things that haven't happened yet and probably won't! It's mental really. It was a bit weird talking about myself so much! But it was good and I've booked another session for 2 weeks tomorrow.

After no bleeding since the erpc i started spotting again yest and am bleeding like a light af today with cramps. My hpt is only a faint line now so I'm wondering if my hormones have finally dropped low enough for a withdrawal bleed and maybe after this I'll have a proper cycle. Or maybe the run just shook some old blood loose as so far it's just brown. Cramps are like af though even though it's too early for a proper af maybe my body is trying to regulate itself. Wish I knew!
Good luck tomorrow fit_mama xx

 

[Fit_Mama2Be]

Thanks so much for your kind and supportive words ladies. It is really comforting how much you just *get it.*

Hopie your counseling session sounds like it was great and thanks so much for sharing! I'll do the same after my session. I read some similar things on a grief website today, namely not to shy away from grief because it is your friend and will help heal you, even if it doesn't seem like it now. And it is amazing how many people (like your counselor) have suffered their own losses. For instance, I found out later that the doctor who broke the terrible news to us during our u/s also lost a baby.

Keep up all the great exercise everyone!! I rode my bike and went to bootcamp today (in the sun). I work in a small office and one of my coworkers is pregnant - I am happy for her and she was so kind to me while I was losing my baby, but I am jealous that she's still pregnant and of her bump...so I am really making an effort to dress well and show off my slim figure because it is a tiny bit of consolation and I have to take what I can get, LOL.

Hope everyone has a good week.

 

[jaspie]

That's such a good attitude fit_mama! A sunny boot camp sounds brill too. Hope tonight goes well

 

[Blu10]

I think it sounds as though were all on an upward spiral ladies, no matter how slowly it may be and with a few curve balls along the way.
This morning was the first morning I haven't woken up and remembered the miscarriage immediately so I hope that's a step forward. I've just taken DS to nursery and have today off work so I intend to catch up with some cleaning.
Sorry to hear you're bleeding again jaspie, its really annoying isn't it. Mines almost stopped again now so I hope that's it now until next AF! I'm inspired by all of the exercise endorphins, its been a while since I did any classes but I think I'll pick up a timetable this evening when I take DS for his swimming lesson 😀

 

[jaspie]

Yay exercise classes great idea! No bleeding today so perhaps it was the run? Glad you woke up with a fresh head blu

 

[Blu10]

Good riddance to the bleeding Jaspie... unfortunately mine is back today, its so annoying. Im feeling better in myself though and guess thats the most important thing 👍

 

[bernie86]

It was great reading about your visit with the therapist. Im glad you ladies are getting the extra comfort and piece of mind. I had thought about going to see some one too, but because we had already announced our pregnancy, everyone knows we lost him. And A few friends and family have talked to me about their own personal experiences and Ive asked lots of questions and its been helping. My Best friends mom actually helped me quite a bit. She lost a baby in between both of her daughters. And My biggest fear for the future was that Im never going to be excited to be pregnant again ( im sure you all can relate) I just keep thinking that I was never going to stop worrying because I was so worried during this one, and had bad feelings about the pregnancy and I dont want to do that to myself. She assured me that there is no possible way you dont get excited.... she said she still fell in love the minute she saw the two lines. She also said that she experienced the bad feelings and worrying with her baby that she lost and all that went away with her next pregnancy. She said that she was a little more cautious than the first 2 pregnancies but she said she knew her baby was coming home. This really gave me so much hope, That it will feel different when we get to bring our baby home. Sharing our experiences is so important, We dont know who we might be helping

 

[Blu10]

That's so true Bernie, with both of my pregnancies where I miscarried I had a gut feeling something wasn't right and felt super anxious. I was anxious with DS but felt things would be OK. I just hope everything is ok next time x

 

[jaspie]

Thanks for posting that Bernie, it's helpful! It's interesting you both say that, i felt super anxious too though had no reason to be. I just thought it was my anxiety but maybe it was actually instinct. I just couldn't imagine the pregnancy ending in a baby or even seeing a baby at the scan. It was my first pregnancy though so I can't compare, but i really hope I get a different feeling next time.

 

[bernie86]

Jaspie- This was my first as well and like you said I didnt have anything to compare it to but I knew I was overly paranoid about something going wrong... and I tried to convince myself I was just worrying for nothing. But its definitely not like me to worry the way that I was worrying. The weirdest part of my worrying was the day of my 10 week appt. it was a 915 am appt so I went to work early and I just knew I wasnt coming back that day. I had finished all my important things in 3 hours and left my desk how i leave it at the end of the week... In a way I think its our body preparing us, because I wasnt even surprised when the Dr. said he couldn't see the heart beat. I hope next time we do get a peaceful sense and are certain in our hearts that our babies are coming home!

 

[jaspie]

That's so strange you tidied your desk up. It's weird we all had similar feelings too. I also tried to convince myself I was worrying over nothing. Fingers crossed for next time and a healthy baby!

 

[Blu10]

I remember crying on the phone to my mum at 5 wks pregnant with the first saying it doesnt feel right and 4 days later i miscarried. I have a funny feeling that next time will be ok, just hope Im right for me and all of you too!! EPAC said i have more chance of a healthy pregnancy than not so im holding onto that. For now im focusing on looking after myself and stocking up on folic acid.
Time for work now, feeling upbeat. Hope you all have a lovely day xx

 

[jaspie]

Yep same here, back on folic acid and healthy eating. Strangely I have a feeling next time will be okay too! Have a great day too blu!

 

[bernie86]

Im so glad you ladies have good feelings about next time too! I'm not worried anymore either... It did ease my mind finding out the specific chromosome issue that caused it and having the Dr. tell me that there is a minimal chance of re-occurrence. I'm just going to remind myself when I worry I think this intuition stuff just proves how awesome woman are!

 

[jaspie]

That's great news Bernie glad it was a one time issue. Fingers crossed for us all xx

 

[Blu10]

Are you in America Bernie? I asked about testing on baby but they said they only make sure its not a molar pregnancy. I suppose its the luck of the draw when sperm meets egg isnt it. I watched a video called the miracle of life a few years ago after my first loss (think its on youtube) and its remarkable how complex having a baby is but I suppose we forget that.
I hope youre all feeling better today?
Hopie... youre a little quiet my lovely, hope youre ok x

 

[bernie86]

Yes I'm in Los Angeles. I was actually surprised that the testing was offered to us since it was a first loss first pregnancy situation. We were the first patients that my Dr. had referred to the company that does this kind of testing. The company is called progenity and the tests are expensive but they bill your insurance, and if the insurance doesnt cover it all, or anything then progenity only bills the patient $25.00. I wasnt sure how I would feel about results because both my Dr. and I were certain it was a chromosome issue but it was helpful to know the exact kind of chromosome defect and know that it is low risk for the future. My Dr. said that this company also offers the early 10 week "free cell" testing on the mothers blood that can find chromosome abnormalities and gender in early pregnancy. I was not sure about it when my Dr. suggested it for this pregnancy but now I'm definitely getting the test done in the future.... and Hey you get to learn the gender at 10 weeks which is pretty cool I read that this isnt available in every country and I know its fairly new here because my friend who has a 15 month old had the same Dr. and was not offered the prenatal testing

 

[Blu10]

Crikey, England are so behind with medicine compared to America! Im convinced the 2 babies I lost were girls and have always said in sure Id have 2 boys, it would be amazing to find out at 10 weeks 😆

 

[hopie2015]

Hi ladies- sorry for the delay. Horrid day yesterday - my dad has been ill.. I really think God is testing me between the m/c, job loss and now my dad's illness.
The counselor sure did help and yes -I'll go back in 2 weeks too!
I am glad it helped to read and hope even those who don't post on here get something out of the advice.

It is a good sign when waking up in the morning Blu and the m/c isn't the first thing you think of. That has happened to me all week. I think I have too much worry going on with my dad. After I'm up a while, I start to remember. But it is all feeling like a distant dream now--the 9+ weeks of pregnancy-- and the m/c feels like a nightmare that didn't really happen, if that makes sense? I hope the bleeding has stopped now.
Thanks for asking about job-- I've had trouble searching with all that has been going on personally. It's a blessing I was laid off and don't have to return to the toxic, stressful finance world during this hellish past month!

Jaspie- could be the long run- yes, that caused the bleeding? I remember bleeding after my first heavy cardio class.

Bernie- so glad you have good friends and family to talk to and support you! Glad you are doing well. Know we will all have our moments at times.

As for being excited in next pregnancies- I do think you will be!! I think we need to remember that worrying won't have an ounce of benefit.
Perhaps gut feeling does tell us something- I know Bernie and I 'talked' about that once. I remember at the 1st scan the dr said, 'aren't you excited??". I wasn't. I was nervous and had a bad feeling..and then she said it... So I know what you both mean.

Jaspie- it is good you have had some good days! Only normal for something even small at work to bring you down. Good thing is you got yourself back up.

I still have thoughts like I would be well into my second trimester now..all that horrible nausea would be gone...etc. I think only normal we have those thoughts, hard as they are.

You are all the greatest support. Thanks for being there. I am saying lots of prayers your next pregnancies are smooth and wonderful!!!