Horrible consultant, should i switch?

[Fire_fly]

Hi all, sorry if this is long but really upset right now. Basically my consultant for this pregnancy went on leave until next year about 3 months ago but was there today. I've had a another consultant in his place who i got on very well with and we had an agreed delivery in place which was a planned section. Was finally feeling better and less stressed about it all when all of a sudden my original consultant walks in, demanded to know why I wanted a section and literally glared at me!
I explained my reasons again ( quite literally for the fourth time in 31 weeks and have heard all risks 4x over) I still have not changed my mind.
Backstory: I was induced with my daughter due to GD which ended up in a ventouse delivery, her heart rate all over the place, an epistomy and nerve damage that left me in pain for 1.5 years after my lo was born. I cannot go through that again and have GD again but this time medicated so he's pushing for another induction. Baby is also on the 90th percentile.

On top of that, as some of you ladies know and have helped me with in the past, I have chronic SPD and have been on crutches since 23 weeks, can barely open my legs and can't walk without pain relief. I have been told under no circumstances by the phyio have I to let my legs be put in stirrups (happened with first pregnancy) it was either that with episotomy and ventouse or an emergency section which it came very close to.
He actually looked down his nose at me and demanded that if that parafalegics can give birth naturally, why can't I? I do not have a good enough reason, that he will not be booking a c section for me today (which I was told would happen a week ago) and he huffed at me when I informed him of this. He didn't read my file and basically without saying it, accused me of lying about his colleagues allowing it. Then rammed all the risks down my throat and said I'll book it at 36 weeks then just walked out!
Not long after, I ended up in tears talking to the midwife who spoke to him privately and came back and booked me in for 39+1 and said he was out of line. Thanks ladies if you made it this far, just really upset right now and dreading seeing him again.

 

[Bonnie11]

Absolutely your right to refuse to see him again! He sounds horrible. Make it clear in an email to your midwife/supervisor that you don't want to see him again and explain what happened. Though is he going back on leave? In which case might sort itself out. But absolutely make it clear you dont want to see him again, you are well within your rights and don't have to give a reason (though I think it's worth mentioning).

As an aside PLEASE see an osteo about your SPD. She managed to get me off crutches and walking around semi normally with minimal pain. And if you don't go before the baby then please go after to get everything back in place. You shouldn't have to suffer!

 

[Bevziibubble]

I would switch and complain! He sounds very unprofessional and demeaning

 

[Fire_fly]

Hi Bonnie, I think that's him back now unfortunately, can't even get my second consultant back as she's from another hospital and was only filing in. Haven't met the other one as she's never in on the days I go. If I stick it through with him, I'll see him another 3 times. Don't know if I'll need the other consultant to agree to a section if I switch? Otherwise I'd be doing it in a heart beat. But genuinely don't know if I can stand being around him again. I'm definitely going to complain though.
I would love to see the osteopath but there's just no room with our budget right now unfortunately. Will definitely be going after baby is here though and all his things is bought, Christmas out the way etc.

Bevzi, he really was, even the midwife wasn't happy with him.

 

[WackyMumof2]

He actually looked down his nose at me and demanded to me that parafalegics can give birth naturally so why can't I?

Wow?! He SAID that?! The difference here is that you CAN feel the pain of SPD and they can't if they are paralyzed! I personally won't agree to a section because of GD but, I've also go a straight forward pregnancy despite the fact so there is no reason for me to be induced or opened up. In saying that, why should how I choose to give birth be any different to the choice you are making? You have VERY valid reasons for wanting a section and you shouldn't be having to justify those reasons at all! I would make a formal complaint first to see if that resolves the problem and if not, I would request someone else to take over your care until birth. Best of luck.

 

[kewpie]

I would 100% make sure someone else took over my care. You need to make sure you are totally comfortable and there is no point battling on with someone you don't get on with, let alone if you have reason to complain about them. If there is another consultant there, can you change the days you go so she can take over? Or can you switch practices?

 

[Fire_fly]

He actually looked down his nose at me and demanded to me that parafalegics can give birth naturally so why can't I?

Wow?! He SAID that?! The difference here is that you CAN feel the pain of SPD and they can't if they are paralyzed! I personally won't agree to a section because of GD but, I've also go a straight forward pregnancy despite the fact so there is no reason for me to be induced or opened up. In saying that, why should how I choose to give birth be any different to the choice you are making? You have VERY valid reasons for wanting a section and you shouldn't be having to justify those reasons at all! I would make an formal complaint first to see if that resolves the problem and if not, I would request someone else to take over your care until birth. Best of luck.

Hi, thank you I know right? I just stared at him, didn't know how to respond. Apparently he's the type of consultant that will only agree to a section if it's life or death but is quite happy to agree to inductions according to the midwife. She said he's a good consultant but has a terrible bedside manner. I think he only agreed as I literally just told him, "this is what I want" and it's already been agreed. It seriously annoyed him though. That's the plan, definitely complaining, don't know if should wait till babys here though as I still need to attend that hospital regularly till January and could do without the stress of it ATM.

 

[Fire_fly]

I would 100% make sure someone else took over my care. You need to make sure you are totally comfortable and there is no point battling on with someone you don't get on with, let alone if you have reason to complain about them. If there is another consultant there, can you change the days you go so she can take over? Or can you switch practices?

I'm going to ask about that, the other consultant works on a Thursday i think so I'm going to enquire if she could take over my care instead. No idea what they'll say as I only have 3 appointments left. My next appointment isn't for another 2 weeks so I can phone tomorrow and ask, they'll time to re-book my appointment. Can't switch practices unfortunately as it's the only maternity unit in my area, the one I'm delivering at is too far away for regular appointments.

 

[Zephram]

Wow! I would definitely request a different doctor, that is so unprofessional. Demand someone new, seriously.

 

[kewpie]

I'm going to ask about that, the other consultant works on a Thursday i think so I'm going to enquire if she could take over my care instead. No idea what they'll say as I only have 3 appointments left. My next appointment isn't for another 2 weeks so I can phone tomorrow and ask, they'll time to re-book my appointment. Can't switch practices unfortunately as it's the only maternity unit in my area, the one I'm delivering at is too far away for regular appointments.

Ah I see. You still deserve the best of treatment over the course of those three appointments and above all, you deserve to not have to stress about going in to see him! And anyway, it's not like you've built up this longstanding relationship with him anyway, he has only been back for one of your appointments so they ought to accommodate you with someone new for the remaining three. I know how stressful it is having a doctor you don't feel good about it! Let us know how you go.

 

[Fire_fly]

Update: I called the maternity ward, couldn't get a hold of my actual midwife (who I still haven't met, it's normal here to just see whoever is on duty) and the helpful midwife i had yesterday wasn't in. So the best plan of action is to see the midwife to face to face at my next appointment in 2 weeks which unfortunately means also seeing the consultant haven't had the best time of it so far trying to explain things on the phone to midwives this pregnancy, most have them have been quite snippy and acted like I'm annoying them, so much so that I just don't phone now unless it's baby's movements or something, face to face ones have been much nicer so didn't want the hassle of explaining to a midwife I've never met what happened and for her just to get annoyed with me.
I'm planning on literally just letting him check baby's growth in my book telling him I'm fine (even I'm not or have questions) then he can leave. I'm planning on asking the midwife any questions or concerns (if I've got any) instead. If she asks, I'm just going to be honest with her and say I don't want to be berated again. My plan is to put a formal complaint in a few weeks once baby's here to save myself the stress as it's not been an easy pregnancy so far as it is. My bp was up yesterday too so don't want to risk anything affecting baby.
If the consultant starts anything though, I'm just going to get up and walk out and put in a complaint there and then, also refuse to see him for the next two appointments.
Funnily enough, a friend's on my mine has a couple of family members who also requested planned sections for good reasons and he was their consultant and was horrible to them as well, one of them so much so that she wouldn't go to an appointment with him unless her mum came with her. He seemed absolutely fine when I saw him at the beginning of my pregnancy until a section was brought up, seems to have some sort of things against them (which is basically what the midwife said) he doesn't like to to agree to them unless it's absolutely life or death circumstances.
Just going to try and not let any of this bother me and focus on the fact baby will here in less than 8 weeks
Thanks everyone for listening and taking time to reply I'll let you know if anything else happens! Hopefully not x

 

[nordicpixie83]

Update: I called the maternity ward, couldn't get a hold of my actual midwife (who I still haven't met, it's normal here to just see whoever is on duty) and the helpful midwife i had yesterday wasn't in. So the best plan of action is to see the midwife to face to face at my next appointment in 2 weeks which unfortunately means also seeing the consultant haven't had the best time of it so far trying to explain things on the phone to midwives this pregnancy, most have them have been quite snippy and acted like I'm annoying them, so much so that I just don't phone now unless it's baby's movements or something, face to face ones have been much nicer so didn't want the hassle of explaining to a midwife I've never met what happened and for her just to get annoyed with me.
I'm planning on literally just letting him check baby's growth in my book telling him I'm fine (even I'm not or have questions) then he can leave. I'm planning on asking the midwife any questions or concerns (if I've got any) instead. If she asks, I'm just going to be honest with her and say I don't want to be berated again. My plan is to put a formal complaint in a few weeks once baby's here to save myself the stress as it's not been an easy pregnancy so far as it is. My bp was up yesterday too so don't want to risk anything affecting baby.
If the consultant starts anything though, I'm just going to get up and walk out and put in a complaint there and then, also refuse to see him for the next two appointments.
Funnily enough, a friend's on my mine has a couple of family members who also requested planned sections for good reasons and he was their consultant and was horrible to them as well, one of them so much so that she wouldn't go to an appointment with him unless her mum came with her. He seemed absolutely fine when I saw him at the beginning of my pregnancy until a section was brought up, seems to have some sort of things against them (which is basically what the midwife said) he doesn't like to to agree to them unless it's absolutely life or death circumstances.
Just going to try and not let any of this bother me and focus on the fact baby will here in less than 8 weeks
Thanks everyone for listening and taking time to reply I'll let you know if anything else happens! Hopefully not x

What a pretentious twat !! Sorry , I know that's not very nice of me . I just think these old fashioned Dr's need to realise that women aren't just a uterus and vagina on legs . We can't all squeeze out 10lb babies , also we do not need to suffe hellish labour and deliveries , its not "all part of the process" It's your body and your decision . You have plenty of good reasons to have an elcs. Move consultant . If you have to see him again , before he even opens his mouth put your feelings across . We are not minions or of lesser value to these stuck up Dr's that exist in the care system. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[Fire_fly]

Update: I called the maternity ward, couldn't get a hold of my actual midwife (who I still haven't met, it's normal here to just see whoever is on duty) and the helpful midwife i had yesterday wasn't in. So the best plan of action is to see the midwife to face to face at my next appointment in 2 weeks which unfortunately means also seeing the consultant haven't had the best time of it so far trying to explain things on the phone to midwives this pregnancy, most have them have been quite snippy and acted like I'm annoying them, so much so that I just don't phone now unless it's baby's movements or something, face to face ones have been much nicer so didn't want the hassle of explaining to a midwife I've never met what happened and for her just to get annoyed with me.
I'm planning on literally just letting him check baby's growth in my book telling him I'm fine (even I'm not or have questions) then he can leave. I'm planning on asking the midwife any questions or concerns (if I've got any) instead. If she asks, I'm just going to be honest with her and say I don't want to be berated again. My plan is to put a formal complaint in a few weeks once baby's here to save myself the stress as it's not been an easy pregnancy so far as it is. My bp was up yesterday too so don't want to risk anything affecting baby.
If the consultant starts anything though, I'm just going to get up and walk out and put in a complaint there and then, also refuse to see him for the next two appointments.
Funnily enough, a friend's on my mine has a couple of family members who also requested planned sections for good reasons and he was their consultant and was horrible to them as well, one of them so much so that she wouldn't go to an appointment with him unless her mum came with her. He seemed absolutely fine when I saw him at the beginning of my pregnancy until a section was brought up, seems to have some sort of things against them (which is basically what the midwife said) he doesn't like to to agree to them unless it's absolutely life or death circumstances.
Just going to try and not let any of this bother me and focus on the fact baby will here in less than 8 weeks
Thanks everyone for listening and taking time to reply I'll let you know if anything else happens! Hopefully not x

What a pretentious twat !! Sorry , I know that's not very nice of me . I just think these old fashioned Dr's need to realise that women aren't just a uterus and vagina on legs . We can't all squeeze out 10lb babies , also we do not need to suffe hellish labour and deliveries , its not "all part of the process" It's your body and your decision . You have plenty of good reasons to have an elcs. Move consultant . If you have to see him again , before he even opens his mouth put your feelings across . We are not minions or of lesser value to these stuck up Dr's that exist in the care system. Sending you lots of hugs

No need to be sorry, I completely agree with you, that's exactly what he is. Yeah, that's my plan, not going to allow him to do that again. Thanks it's very much appreciated

 

[nordicpixie83]

Update: I called the maternity ward, couldn't get a hold of my actual midwife (who I still haven't met, it's normal here to just see whoever is on duty) and the helpful midwife i had yesterday wasn't in. So the best plan of action is to see the midwife to face to face at my next appointment in 2 weeks which unfortunately means also seeing the consultant haven't had the best time of it so far trying to explain things on the phone to midwives this pregnancy, most have them have been quite snippy and acted like I'm annoying them, so much so that I just don't phone now unless it's baby's movements or something, face to face ones have been much nicer so didn't want the hassle of explaining to a midwife I've never met what happened and for her just to get annoyed with me.
I'm planning on literally just letting him check baby's growth in my book telling him I'm fine (even I'm not or have questions) then he can leave. I'm planning on asking the midwife any questions or concerns (if I've got any) instead. If she asks, I'm just going to be honest with her and say I don't want to be berated again. My plan is to put a formal complaint in a few weeks once baby's here to save myself the stress as it's not been an easy pregnancy so far as it is. My bp was up yesterday too so don't want to risk anything affecting baby.
If the consultant starts anything though, I'm just going to get up and walk out and put in a complaint there and then, also refuse to see him for the next two appointments.
Funnily enough, a friend's on my mine has a couple of family members who also requested planned sections for good reasons and he was their consultant and was horrible to them as well, one of them so much so that she wouldn't go to an appointment with him unless her mum came with her. He seemed absolutely fine when I saw him at the beginning of my pregnancy until a section was brought up, seems to have some sort of things against them (which is basically what the midwife said) he doesn't like to to agree to them unless it's absolutely life or death circumstances.
Just going to try and not let any of this bother me and focus on the fact baby will here in less than 8 weeks
Thanks everyone for listening and taking time to reply I'll let you know if anything else happens! Hopefully not x

What a pretentious twat !! Sorry , I know that's not very nice of me . I just think these old fashioned Dr's need to realise that women aren't just a uterus and vagina on legs . We can't all squeeze out 10lb babies , also we do not need to suffe hellish labour and deliveries , its not "all part of the process" It's your body and your decision . You have plenty of good reasons to have an elcs. Move consultant . If you have to see him again , before he even opens his mouth put your feelings across . We are not minions or of lesser value to these stuck up Dr's that exist in the care system. Sending you lots of hugs

No need to be sorry, I completely agree with you, that's exactly what he is. Yeah, that's my plan, not going to allow him to do that again. Thanks it's very much appreciated

Let us know how you get on