Hospital vs home birth?

[aliss]

"Healthy baby is all that matters"
^
It really is this attitude that has kept me from seeking help for PTSD/PND after my horrific labour. The feeling that a relatively baby is all that matters (because he was not perfectly healthy but he was not dead either) is simply not true for some of us. Sorry.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I didn't say that (I also have suffered pnd 3 times and have been on anti depressants for 4 years), what I said was if intervention is needed and we perhaps don't get the delivery we would have liked can we not find comfort in the fact that we did everything in our powers and made the choices that we thought were right to ensure a safe or safe as possible delivery? What I'm saying is hb or hospital birth, we make our choices and all we want is a safe delivery.

 

[aliss]

orry I dont mean to direct my comment specifically towards you, it's just in general, something I've heard from nurses etc.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

orry I dont mean to direct my comment specifically towards you, it's just in general, something I've heard from nurses etc.

No need to apologise hun, you have a fair point

 

[Sherileigh]

"Healthy baby is all that matters"
^
It really is this attitude that has kept me from seeking help for PTSD/PND after my horrific labour. The feeling that a relatively baby is all that matters (because he was not perfectly healthy but he was not dead either) is simply not true for some of us. Sorry.

Believe it's directed at me, this is what I said. I believe I also said if a woman's happy with her choice and the baby is healthy. This is one of those threads that no matter what you say someone will be upset.

 

[Lucy22]

I'll be having a hospital birth, as I had with my older LO.

Personally for me, I feel more secure knowing that medical intervention is at hand should I need it, or should any complications arise.

I plan on having a natural birth as I had with my older LO, but as much as I'd like to avoid medicated pain relief, I'm open minded to accept it should I be unable to cope. This is another reason I'd personally feel more comfortable in a hospital.

Also, I wouldn't fee comfortable giving birth at home. I'd probably scare LO and I don't think I'd like it. That, however, is just how I feel about it. Each to their own.

 

[silver_penny]

And here we go with risk, risk, risk again. I really do not think that you can ever convince someone that something is a low risk when they are facing the consequences and you are not. Some 'risks' are not worth taking.

No risk is worth taking when it comes to lo, all we can do is try our best to reduce the risks as advised.
It's individual choice, no one should have to defend their choice.
As long as lo is delivered safely does it matter if you have a section, vontouse, water birth or assisted hb?

Just to clarify, does it matter if your LO is delivered safely via unassisted homebirth? Seems you put that in there as a disqualifier for those who have unassisted homebirths...

 

[wishingonastar]

And here we go with risk, risk, risk again. I really do not think that you can ever convince someone that something is a low risk when they are facing the consequences and you are not. Some 'risks' are not worth taking.

No risk is worth taking when it comes to lo, all we can do is try our best to reduce the risks as advised.
It's individual choice, no one should have to defend their choice.
As long as lo is delivered safely does it matter if you have a section, vontouse, water birth or assisted hb?

Just to clarify, does it matter if your LO is delivered safely via unassisted homebirth? Seems you put that in there as a disqualifier for those who have unassisted homebirths...

Wow...think that's being a little picky. perhaps the poster should list all types of birth with and without intervention...? forceps...in water...out water...squatting...stirrups...standing...with doula...without doula...at home...in a car...

 

[aliss]

I don't mean to direct my comment towards anyone... it's something I've heard since he was born, something that is often said to me, it's nothing directed towards anyone You all have very valid opinions and yes, you are right that inevitably someone will be upset over this topic. I don't see anything wrong with elective C-section birth or unassisted birth (just to demonstrate the polar opposites) as long as the choice is informed.

 

[silver_penny]

No, that's not my point. I just don't understand why she put in the qualifier "assisted" I was just asking if it made any difference in her mind if it was unassisted. Which is why I asked for clarification.

 

[wishingonastar]

I think she was just listing a few different methods rather than being specific, but I may stand corrected...!

 

[lozzy21]

Yes it does matter how your baby is born and having a healthy baby isent all that matters.

My daughters birth has left me with PTSD and comments like that really hurt. Until you have been through a birth when your baby came close to dieing and was left looking like a baby of the NSPCC tv adds, especially if it could have been another way then you will never understand how your baby was born can affect you mentally.

 

[wigglywoo]

And here we go with risk, risk, risk again. I really do not think that you can ever convince someone that something is a low risk when they are facing the consequences and you are not. Some 'risks' are not worth taking.

No risk is worth taking when it comes to lo, all we can do is try our best to reduce the risks as advised.
It's individual choice, no one should have to defend their choice.
As long as lo is delivered safely does it matter if you have a section, vontouse, water birth or assisted hb?

Just to clarify, does it matter if your LO is delivered safely via unassisted homebirth? Seems you put that in there as a disqualifier for those who have unassisted homebirths...

Wow...think that's being a little picky. perhaps the poster should list all types of birth with and without intervention...? forceps...in water...out water...squatting...stirrups...standing...with doula...without doula...at home...in a car...

I can actually see the point that silver penny was making. The poster didn't say 'homebirth' it seemed that she made a point of saying 'assisted homebirth' and actually, they are very different things. It may not have been deliberate, but seemed that the words may have been chosen purposely. I'm not saying that the poster meant to be provocative, they may well not have known that there is a difference, I'm just explaining why it matters that the word assisted was there

I will admit that I knew nothing of unassisted birth until recently and never considered that it could be an option. I would actually be very happy to have an unassisted birth myself. It may fill some ladies with fear and dread, but the fact that birth could such an intimate, family occasion without intervention from a stranger appeals to me

 

[diz]

I had a home birth with a hospital transfer with Noah. I ended up delivering him in the back of an ambulance in a lay-by! It was the most amazing experience of my life. I wasn't scared or worried one bit. I had two midwives with me that I trusted and my labour at home, in the pool, was was calm and I felt in control.

I know if I was in hospital I would have ended up having a c-section or forceps delivery... He got a bit stuck on the U bend and his heat rate was dipping. I had been 10 cm for two hours so as protocol states, and because of his dipping beats I was transferred. I was only in the ambulance for 3 mins before they had to pull over. 3 mins after that he was born. I plan on having a home birth again.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

I think she was just listing a few different methods rather than being specific, but I may stand corrected...!

Thankyou, you're right, was just listing various methods

 

[indy and lara]

Again I think the healthy baby comments will depend on your life experiences.

My first birth was textbook. Straight forward, no tears, no interventions at all really but Bobo was dead. I can honestly say hand on heart that I did not care in the slightest what happened during Emma's birth as long as she was alive and we actually got to leave the hospital with her- interventions, 5 folk in the room, strapped to monitors, whatever it really did not matter to me in the slightest.

So yes, for me all that matters is that my baby was alive, regardless of how she got here and I cannot understand how anything else matters and I don't think that I ever will. Much like my comment about risk earlier on, if you haven't had the experience we did then I can see you won't necessarily feel the same way but I have to be honest and say that I just won't be able to understand it. It doesn't make the feelings anyone has less real to them though.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Yes it does matter how your baby is born and having a healthy baby isent all that matters.

My daughters birth has left me with PTSD and comments like that really hurt. Until you have been through a birth when your baby came close to dieing and was left looking like a baby of the NSPCC tv adds, especially if it could have been another way then you will never understand how your baby was born can affect you mentally.

I had a combined twin delivery with twin 1 born via forceps with episiotomy and twin 2 emergency section under GA for arm presentation and cord prolapse, I needed 2 pints of blood to be transfused, was on icu and baby was born flat (no hb, full resus needed). So I don't make comments lightly. I also suffered pnd with 3 deliveries. When I woke up on icu the only thing I wanted to know was if my babies where alive. Please don't jump on me - this was my experience

 

[JackiePed]

Ladies-- when someone says "having a healthy baby is what matters", there's no need to fight that-- they aren't saying YOU are doing something wrong by preferring to control your birthing experience. They are saying no matter what method you choose, if we all end up with healthy babies in the end, then we did it right. Meaning... your choice is your choice and that's ok. Meaning... we all want healthy babies. Meaning... in the end our main goal is to have LO here safe and sound.
Why do we need to fight a comment that simply says we want healthy babies? Of course we do. Homebirthers do, hospital birthers do, elective c-sectioners do, elective inductioners do, haven't made up their minders do....
Let's not nitpick. No one was using the healthy baby statement to somehow shoot down homebirthers.

 

[lozzy21]

Yes it does matter how your baby is born and having a healthy baby isent all that matters.

My daughters birth has left me with PTSD and comments like that really hurt. Until you have been through a birth when your baby came close to dieing and was left looking like a baby of the NSPCC tv adds, especially if it could have been another way then you will never understand how your baby was born can affect you mentally.

I had a combined twin delivery with twin 1 born via forceps with episiotomy and twin 2 emergency section under GA for arm presentation and cord prolapse, I needed 2 pints of blood to be transfused, was on icu and baby was born flat (no hb, full resus needed). So I don't make comments lightly. I also suffered pnd with 3 deliveries. When I woke up on icu the only thing I wanted to know was if my babies where alive. Please don't jump on me - this was my experience

I was the same at first, but a few months later it kinda creeps up on you.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Ladies-- when someone says "having a healthy baby is what matters", there's no need to fight that-- they aren't saying YOU are doing something wrong by preferring to control your birthing experience. They are saying no matter what method you choose, if we all end up with healthy babies in the end, then we did it right. Meaning... your choice is your choice and that's ok. Meaning... we all want healthy babies. Meaning... in the end our main goal is to have LO here safe and sound.
Why do we need to fight a comment that simply says we want healthy babies? Of course we do. Homebirthers do, hospital birthers do, elective c-sectioners do, elective inductioners do, haven't made up their minders do....
Let's not nitpick. No one was using the healthy baby statement to somehow shoot down homebirthers.

Thankyou, that was exactly what I was saying!! Maybe you said it better