Hospital vs home birth?

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Well thankyou very much for highlighting my post and can I just add that in no way was I trying to take away from anyones experience. I assumed that the reason we were debating different birth techniques was that we all felt that the choice was one that was best for our baby??? I'm obviously wrong there. And let me tell you one thing, as a lady who lay in ICU for two days, had multiple blood transfusions, repeated corrective surgery for a botched c section that I experienced within half an hour of a botched vaginal delivery, that had an anaesthetists hands around my windpipe to put me under quickly as my child lay dying inside me - I know a little about traumatic birth. Do me a favour, please don't say that I made made flippant remarks about traumatic delivery. I am not rude, I am not insensitive and I think respect needs to be shown to the ladies who have buried their poor lo's and all they are really wanting is to take a lo home in their arms. I am struggling to see why that would be wrong? My partner had to receive counselling after my delivery. Oh and btw I never once made the statement that a healthy baby is all that matters but after the delivery I have had my priority is that my baby is safe. Please out do not tell me about how traumatic delivery can effect a person.

 

[lynnikins]

to point out something everyone seems to have missed , the poster who initially said she was hurt by the "healthy babies comment" made it clear it wasnt taken from a post in this thread but was something ppl had said to her outside of this forum after the birth of her LO and that was what she found hurtful.

 

[Ju_bubbs]

Oh my Why must these threads always turn into squabbles!?

 

[JackiePed]

to point out something everyone seems to have missed , the poster who initially said she was hurt by the "healthy babies comment" made it clear it wasnt taken from a post in this thread but was something ppl had said to her outside of this forum after the birth of her LO and that was what she found hurtful.

It wasn't her that took it further. She was honest, trying to inform, and understood that no one meant any disrespect.

It was later posters that jumped on the bandwagon and got upset about it...even after it had been cleared up between the two people with whom it originated.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Oh my Why must these threads always turn into squabbles!?

Thankyou

 

[lozzy21]

to point out something everyone seems to have missed , the poster who initially said she was hurt by the "healthy babies comment" made it clear it wasnt taken from a post in this thread but was something ppl had said to her outside of this forum after the birth of her LO and that was what she found hurtful.

It wasn't her that took it further. She was honest, trying to inform, and understood that no one meant any disrespect.

It was later posters that jumped on the bandwagon and got upset about it...even after it had been cleared up between the two people with whom it originated.

If people meant no disrespect then why did the comment get repeated over and over again?

 

[JackiePed]

It was only ever said in the positive context about respecting each others' personal choices and that we all want the same thing in the end.... I don't see one comment in this entire thread that ever, ever told a woman she shouldn't feel upset about her horrible birth experience because 'she got a healthy baby'.

Some women said that, to THEM, they are ok with whatever has to be done because they just want a healthy baby in the end.... but there's nothing disrespectful about that either. They didn't say YOU should be fine with it... just that they are prepared to deal with the possible interventions that they may face in a hospital birth, so long as they get to bring home their LO.

If you can find me one person who truly told a woman on this thread that they should just be grateful for their healthy baby and not be upset about their awful birth experience, I promise I'll stop defending them right now.

 

[chuck]

LOL I keep writing and deleting.

Bless some of you need to learn to read and take in what you have read before jumping on your high horse and replying.

Each to their own but I'd never go to hospital to give birth if I could help it, I'm quite sad both my babies were born in hospital. DS1 EMCS (planned MLU birth) DS2 VBAC (planned HBAC).

FACT - homebirth is as safe as hospital in an uncomplicated pregnancy.
FACT - you will get 100% of your MW at home.
FACT - there is nothing that can be done in an MLU/BC that cannot be done at home.
FACT - at home you can eat drink walk around nekkid to your hearts content without worrying about strangers being around plus climb into your own bed with your own clean sheets and sleep in your own house after having your baby. Wonderful.



...as for the neighbours/cat/dog etc

FUCK EM!

 

[moomin_troll]

LOL I keep writing and deleting.

Bless some of you need to learn to read and take in what you have read before jumping on your high horse and replying.

Each to their own but I'd never go to hospital to give birth if I could help it, I'm quite sad both my babies were born in hospital. DS1 EMCS (planned MLU birth) DS2 VBAC (planned HBAC).

FACT - homebirth is as safe as hospital in an uncomplicated pregnancy.
FACT - you will get 100% of your MW at home.
FACT - there is nothing that can be done in an MLU/BC that cannot be done at home.
FACT - at home you can eat drink walk around nekkid to your hearts content without worrying about strangers being around plus climb into your own bed with your own clean sheets and sleep in your own house after having your baby. Wonderful.



...as for the neighbours/cat/dog etc

FUCK EM!

love it hahaha

 

[Sherileigh]

I can't even be bothered to read all of the newest posts but can we all remember that neither of us made this horrific statement of women being happy with their choice and having a healthy baby had NOTHING to do with ANY SPECIFIC MEMBER!! it was made after pages and pages of bickering. It was meant to unify but clearly that's not going to happen.

 

[PeanutBean]

Ok.

1) I was actually the first person to respond to cosmicgirl's post containing the phrase we have been discussing so not jumping on any bandwagons thank you very much. Though I wasn't aware that a few people sharing an opinion made it a bandwagon.
2) Cosmicgirl as I specifically stated in the post in which I just quoted you I highlighted the phrase referring to choices as that was what I proceeded to discuss. If you'd rather I respond to something you say without quoting you then I shall refrain but it might make things confusing.
3) Cosmicgirl it's great that you have peace with your traumatic experience, many however have not. I haven't tried to tell you anything about trauma, I have only explained to the thread how I and many other women do feel about their traumatic experiences. Everyone is after all an individual. Your not feeling in this way could mean you don't appreciate how bad some feel. Or not. I don't know you so wouldn't like to speculate on your empathy. Either way I certainly didn't use the word flippant.
4) My comments about this phrase though prompted by cosmicgirl's posts are in no way an attack on one person but about life in general, which I should've thought was obvious by my saying on this forum and in life.

I stand by what I posted last.

 

[moomin_troll]

im very happy that i gave birth to a very healthy boy but i am not happy about how he got here and how i was treated. it actualy put me off having anymore children because of that hospital.

i agreed to try for another baby when we moved to germany but lifes a bitch and im back in my home town. i refuse unless needed to step foot in that place. i have seen how many mistakes that hospital make and they are constantly in the news for having too many people die there. they also recently overdosed new born twins with something and killed them.

how i was treated has had a huge effect on me and its insulting for anyone to make out i should just be happy. (i havent quoated anyone so im not pointing this at anyone)

ive suffered so much sadness throughout this pregnancy that this birth is very important to me and i need it to go as good as it can and for me that is at home, id be far too scared in hospital

 

[DLA]

I am just going to reply to the original poster as it seems some people got a little upset throughout this thread.

My opinion: Births have the potential to be dangerous no matter where you are. I do agree with what someone said about it being about comfort. This being my first birth, I am totally uncomfortable with homebirth (FOR ME). I am overly anxious as it is, I have done tons of research but until you go through it I don't think you truly know what to expect. I LOVE my OBGYN doctor and the unit I will be delivering is phenomenol. I am worrier and feel better knowing I have world class surgeons around me, neonatal specialist/surgeons and Anesthesiologists on the unit at all times (plus two ORs prepped and ready to go on the unit). Chances are I won't NEED any of this but the peace of mind for me is worth it.

I think if I lived somewhere other than here and had different options, my opinion may be different but this is the scenario I'm in. I do think homebirths sound like a beatiful and more personal experience but I don't feel comfortable with it. I work in a hospital and know the standard of care and wouldn't (this time around) feel comfortable anywhere else.

Those are just MY reasons why I'm choosing a hospital birth. I don't think anyone is putting their baby in "danger" for choosing a home birth. After this baby I may have a different prespective and a home birth may be what I want 2nd time around.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

Ok

Now let me point something out.
1) I am in no way comfortable or over the trauma I have suffered, I never once stated that I am "at peace" with what happened to me and my children.
2) I in no way have said that the experience of birth is not important or that other peoples trauma is not important.
3) I am speechless that a comment that I made trying to put a positive spin on things has been scrutinised to the point where I am so upset and having to defend myself.
4) feel free to quote my posts, I think about them long and hard before I post and try my upmost to word things correctly as not to offend (see how everyone jumped on the fact I'd put assisted hb!!!!!!) jeez, that was what we were talking about, I thought I was wording it correctly - give me a break.

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Now if this did not come across this way a simple "I dont think you said it right but I know what you mean" would have sufficed. No need to keep taking it apart. It has been explained and explained by numerous peopl on here what was meant and time after time people are not letting go of it, jeez it was a positive message that I thought we could all appreciate when the thread was going sour.
I think some comments have been really unfair as it is obvious what my message (and others) was and its a shame because it was a positive one.

 

[wigglywoo]

4) feel free to quote my posts, I think about them long and hard before I post and try my upmost to word things correctly as not to offend (see how everyone jumped on the fact I'd put assisted hb!!!!!!) jeez, that was what we were talking about, I thought I was wording it correctly - give me a break.

I didn't see everyone jump on you about this! I saw one person ask for clarification on the wording used and then I explained why it mattered. I don't see how you can think that anyone jumped on you!

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

It wasnt one person if you look back but do you know what, thats fine.
I dont want an argument, it was meant to be a nice positive "lets not fight" message that has been argued to the death.
Good luck with all of your deliveries, sorry to anyone who has experienced a traumatic delivery, I know how heartbreaking that is and enjoy the rest of your pregnancies.

 

[Fergie]

I haven't read all the posts .. too many and to be blunt i can't be arsed today lol.

I believe that it's up to you whether or not to have a homebirth. I'd personally choose not to as i had a horrible labour last time, and i feel calmer knowing my OB Dr is 2 doors down when i need him , but that's my choice and i respect anyones decision about where they want to have their baby. My friend has just had a baby (9lb 7) at home, no complications with a team of amazing midwives and another has had hers in hospital (8lb 4) again with no complications. It is an informed decision that only you can make where to have your baby.

 

[wigglywoo]

It wasnt one person if you look back but do you know what, thats fine.

Nope, it was one poster. Read it back yourself and you'll see. Silver penny asked for clarification of assisted homebirth and I explained after that why it mattered that the term assisted homebirth had been used. No-one jumped on you at all! I even said in my post that you may not have even known that there was a difference and that it probably wasn't meant to be provocative! To say that you were jumped on about this is actually unfair as that is not the case.

 

[cosmicgirlxxx]

It wasnt one person if you look back but do you know what, thats fine.

Nope, it was one poster. Read it back yourself and you'll see. Silver penny asked for clarification of assisted homebirth and I explained after that why it mattered that the term assisted homebirth had been used. No-one jumped on you at all! I even said in my post that you may not have even known that there was a difference and that it probably wasn't meant to be provocative! To say that you were jumped on about this is actually unfair as that is not the case.

Fair enough I apologise then if thats the case, maybe i'm just letting my emotions of the way the thread went cloud my memory. Dont want an argument (never did) and thankyou for pointing out that I meant no provocation in my comment

 

[SyllyPoohBear]

Ok

The only message I was trying to put across (and I cant believe for one minute that after all of these posts that is not clear) is WHETHER YOU CHOOSE A HB OR HOSPITAL BIRTH WE ALL SHARE A COMMON GOAL - THE BEST FOR OUR BABY!!!!

Well, I personally don't think that this is true in a VERY HIGH majority of women. Lots of them just care about themselves and there own "comfort". Drugs are not what is best for your baby and yet the majority of women have drugs, you can't have more then Tylenol when your pregnant but they will pump you full of narcotics while your in labor. Doesn't sound like there thinking much about there babies.. Going through the intensity of labor IS true love and the GREATEST triumph you can make for your baby. Choosing to go against the grain because you really love your baby. That's what's best. How many people can you count that have done that? Of course I am speaking for the american population (66% have epidurals) Uk is only 25%. Which in my opinion is still high. But honestly you can't tell me you did what is best if you had drugs and pitocin and every other intervention known to man. You can rationalize it all you want. That's just not true.

I am not specifically directing this towards anyone. It's more of a general rant once I saw that specific line in the post. Just disappointed that women don't think more of themselves and there God given ability to give birth NATURALLY! (Naturally doesn't mean out you vagina either.) But the choosing hospital or home birth is true neither is RIGHT for everyone. Some people have wonderful experiences in hospitals and some people don't.