how can i make myself NOT to contact him?

[lillprutten]

I keep contacting him. I miss him.

But he says I cant be with him unless I kill the baby which I will not do.


But yet I contact him even hes a rotten egg.

Can anyone please give me some advice how to keep myself from contacting him?

I did try to delete his number but that didnt work very well:/

 

[lou_w34]

Basically....

Just deleat his number, his facebook, email ect ect

If it makes you feel better, contact him one last time, just saying, that you are going ahead with the pregnancy, and if he cant be bothered to be a father then you dont need him or want to contact him, and you will be deleating his numbers and email address. So if he wants to get in contact in the future it will be down to him...

 

[lillprutten]

I just hate myself from having problems keeping myself from contacting him.
How can I even want contact with a man wanting me to kill my baby, actually I correct myself, our baby?

 

[lou_w34]

I had the same problem at first... even though i hated him, as soon as he contacted me i would literally reply in seconds. Then i thought why am i bothering?? He doesnt care. All he wants is to be nice enough to me so that i will have an abortion. It was hard at first, but cutting contact was the best thing i ever done. It will take time, but soon you will feel so much better and stronger

 

[lillprutten]

Thank you, it is really hard to make this step. I know it has to be done, as well as he knows as today he made the ultimatum.
I am more scared about him running away from paying child support and wonder if I can take any legal help to register him where he flies off to? Do you think that's possible? I doubt police would do it? But he said he would go somewhere noone can find him, and he has done this before, he left his family in UK and went to Sweden and now he is saying he might leave again. I have no intention to get my baby's papers to say "father unknown" because he runs away! And I think it should be in the government's interest to prevent him from leaving as if he doesnt pay childsupport then they will have to and I think he should pay it as he was fully aware of that I didnt use any hormones to prevent pregnancy!

 

[lou_w34]

I have no idea about waht to do about him leaving... I think the most you can do is see a solicitor and get hem to give you some advice, or maybe a local Citizens advice burough? They will probably advise you as to what to do. Though i think if he wants to leave... there is nothing you can really do to stop him, you may be able to fond out where he's going though?

Sorry that wasnt much help!

 

[Welshcob]

Hugs Lillprutten. I can understand how you feel

 

[suzanne108]

I agree with Lou in that you need to delete his contact details and let him do the contacting if he wants to.

Luckily for me I was never in this situation but thought I'd send you

 

[jess_smurf]

even if you do get child support they will take money off other benefit so dont worry if you cant find him you will be at no loss

i am in a similar situation my OH wants space and will be home but i cant stop calling him and text him and have now decided to cut contact and see if he comes running my OH does want the baby tho , i am angry and sad all the time atm

keep strong, i text my friend everytime i want to contact him and she puts me straight x goodluck

 

[tinkabells]

what i used to do, when i was wanted to contact him was, txt or call my mates or came on here and spoke to you girls etc, to take my mind from speaking to him, it did help, every now and again i would slip, but then i'd stop myself going further xxx

 

[woadie]

Write a list out of every shitty little thing he's done at you. And how that made you feel. Especially all the things he has done that have destroyed how you feel about him.

Because he is slowly destroying any feelings you have with what he's doing even if you dont see it right now.

But I know you know that you cant go back to how things were with him after what he's done.

The list will help remind you of every reason not to talk to him again x

 

[lillprutten]

We spoke today, I think it's one of the last times we spoke. He simply just said he doesn't want any contact until I have told him my decision. I havent told him I'm keeping the baby as he has threatened to leave the country and that I know he would cancel the contact as he has now anyway.
He just said to call him when I have made up my mind, to either call and say I'm keeping the baby and then we won't ever talk again or tell him I'm not keeping the baby and then we will plan things from there and start a serious relationship.
He also said he doesn't want a baby, that he wants to be alive and do things and not be home and rott.
He said he will not do the babything.
Thing is this is breaking my heart but if I wouldnt keep the baby that would make me deeply depressed and I would probably start to hate him for not having the baby. So this is the way to go. I want the baby and I want him, I can't have both, so my choice is the baby but god knows I will miss him so much.

 

[thechaosismex]

We spoke today, I think it's one of the last times we spoke. He simply just said he doesn't want any contact until I have told him my decision. I havent told him I'm keeping the baby as he has threatened to leave the country and that I know he would cancel the contact as he has now anyway.
He just said to call him when I have made up my mind, to either call and say I'm keeping the baby and then we won't ever talk again or tell him I'm not keeping the baby and then we will plan things from there and start a serious relationship.
He also said he doesn't want a baby, that he wants to be alive and do things and not be home and rott.
He said he will not do the babything.
Thing is this is breaking my heart but if I wouldnt keep the baby that would make me deeply depressed and I would probably start to hate him for not having the baby. So this is the way to go. I want the baby and I want him, I can't have both, so my choice is the baby but god knows I will miss him so much.

emotional blackmail much? This guy sounds like a complete a$$ to be honest, and if I were in your situation I wouldn't even warrant him with a "decision", delete him from your life (phone, email, facebook etc) and stop being manipulated by such a toss pot

 

[surprisebaby]

do you honestly think you will be able to go out with someone who is giving you a choice like that? You either want to go out with someone or not. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't make you choose in such a way. I think he is lying. He is without a doubt being manipulative and playing on your emotions to get his own way. I think it's disgusting.

 

[lou_w34]

Do you really believe that deep down, even if you did get rid of the baby for him, he wouldnt just run off anyways.

I wouldnt even tell him that i was keeping the baby, he sounds like a selfish, out for himself only tosser.

Id stop speaking to him, you and your baby deserve so much more than this w***er

have some

x

 

[lillprutten]

We spoke today, I think it's one of the last times we spoke. He simply just said he doesn't want any contact until I have told him my decision. I havent told him I'm keeping the baby as he has threatened to leave the country and that I know he would cancel the contact as he has now anyway.
He just said to call him when I have made up my mind, to either call and say I'm keeping the baby and then we won't ever talk again or tell him I'm not keeping the baby and then we will plan things from there and start a serious relationship.
He also said he doesn't want a baby, that he wants to be alive and do things and not be home and rott.
He said he will not do the babything.
Thing is this is breaking my heart but if I wouldnt keep the baby that would make me deeply depressed and I would probably start to hate him for not having the baby. So this is the way to go. I want the baby and I want him, I can't have both, so my choice is the baby but god knows I will miss him so much.

emotional blackmail much? This guy sounds like a complete a$$ to be honest, and if I were in your situation I wouldn't even warrant him with a "decision", delete him from your life (phone, email, facebook etc) and stop being manipulated by such a toss pot

Indeed thats what hes doing, he claims that is not the case and how bad he feels for saying all of this but that he just cant deal with having a baby, that he doesnt have the economy and he wants to live etc etc. And that he wants to get to know me and he really likes me and we get along so well(thats true) but he cant if theres going to be a baby involved.

I'm on clouds as now im sure its the baby moving, i cant believe how early i feel it this time, i felt it around 18 weeks with my first pregnancy and i feel it already now! I am really on clouds!

 

[lillprutten]

do you honestly think you will be able to go out with someone who is giving you a choice like that? You either want to go out with someone or not. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't make you choose in such a way. I think he is lying. He is without a doubt being manipulative and playing on your emotions to get his own way. I think it's disgusting.

I know one thing, I know how I feel about him, and I dont think hes necassarily lying about how he feels for me, he said its going to be painful to cut me off his life but that he has done it before and once he does it theres no way back.
I know I will never kill my baby for him. NEVER.
Because I know that if I did I would never forgive him and I know I would start to hate him.
He even tried to more or less bribe me yesterday, saying if I didnt keep the baby he would try to go away somewhere with me so he could take care of me...

 

[Ash_P]

Aww hun. U wouldnt be normal if u didnt miss him, and want to contact him. And its even harder when ur pregnant cause of all the hormones etc. Ur human, and have feelings, and its hard to get into the swing of things. In time u will not want to contact him.
It took me 4 months before I decided I didnt wanna contact him. I didnt delete his number, as he claims he wants to be part of the babies life. But I blocked him and deleted him on msn. Deleted him from all my social networking websites.
He contacts me every 3 or 4 weeks asking how baby is and although Im not busy and could reply straight away, I wait for hours before I reply and make sure its a simple "fine" or "ok" answer.

If this guy doesnt even want this child of urs to have a chance at life, then he is certainly not worth the hassle u are going thru hun. Men like him dont even deserve to have kids. Just think to urself that U are gonna make a FANTASTIC mum. And when u give birth to that wee baby, and it looks up at u, EVERYTHING u have gone thru this pregnancy will make it all worth while.

I keep telling myself this, and I promise u will feel the same. The day that ur child is born, He will be the last thing on ur mind. U wont give him a second thought. Keep strong sweety. Every time u feel weak or upset and want to contact him, go and do something to take ur mind off things. Come online and talk to us, we will give u comfort and strength to make it thru the bad things.

We are all here for u hun xxx

 

[lillprutten]

Thanks, I'm so happy I found this forum as noone else in my surrounding has quite gone thru this.
I want to thank you all ladies for your replies and opinions and sharing your own personal experiences with me, it makes me feel like I'm not alone about this and I am so sorry for you going thru this as well.

My mom keeps being optimistic thinking he will want to see the baby and so forth but I know he will not as strong as he has expressed his will of not knowing the baby.

In fact he asked me to not to send ultrasound pics to him as he said it makes him upset, I wonder should I send them anyway?

 

[thechaosismex]

We spoke today, I think it's one of the last times we spoke. He simply just said he doesn't want any contact until I have told him my decision. I havent told him I'm keeping the baby as he has threatened to leave the country and that I know he would cancel the contact as he has now anyway.
He just said to call him when I have made up my mind, to either call and say I'm keeping the baby and then we won't ever talk again or tell him I'm not keeping the baby and then we will plan things from there and start a serious relationship.
He also said he doesn't want a baby, that he wants to be alive and do things and not be home and rott.
He said he will not do the babything.
Thing is this is breaking my heart but if I wouldnt keep the baby that would make me deeply depressed and I would probably start to hate him for not having the baby. So this is the way to go. I want the baby and I want him, I can't have both, so my choice is the baby but god knows I will miss him so much.

emotional blackmail much? This guy sounds like a complete a$$ to be honest, and if I were in your situation I wouldn't even warrant him with a "decision", delete him from your life (phone, email, facebook etc) and stop being manipulated by such a toss pot

Indeed thats what hes doing, he claims that is not the case and how bad he feels for saying all of this but that he just cant deal with having a baby, that he doesnt have the economy and he wants to live etc etc. And that he wants to get to know me and he really likes me and we get along so well(thats true) but he cant if theres going to be a baby involved.

I'm on clouds as now im sure its the baby moving, i cant believe how early i feel it this time, i felt it around 18 weeks with my first pregnancy and i feel it already now! I am really on clouds!

my ex said almost the same thing to me- more of a its me or the baby kind of thing! And I chose the baby, I know it will hurt like hell and you will miss him insanely but you will get over it and get strong and then you will realise how awful he truly was for making you choose him over yur little bean, plenty more men/fish in the sea who will love you for you and your baby too. You obviously want your baby and if she is moving right now thats awesome xxxx