how can i stop breastfeeding?

[veganmama]

honestly, i wanted to breastfeed until he self weaned, but his whole life revolves around breastfeeding. he has no motivation to learn things because breastfeeding is on his mind like 24/7 i cant even stay home because if he sees me he will whine and whine and whine until i give him boob. he can go 1 or 2 hours in the stroller without boob but that is like his max


i cant even hold my son without him nuzzling at my boobs and wanting on the breast. he doesnt even "feed" half the time he mostly just uses it as a pacifier

i would just stop cold turkey but the thing is he doesnt eat solids. every day goes by he doesnt eat a single solid all he has is breastmilk day and night. ive tried putting food on his tray, ive tried trying to feed him by hand he rejects everything.

i dont know what to do anymore. im seeing specialists but their tips arent working hes still not eating solids and im afraid to stop the breast in fear he will starve he wont even take a sippy cup he hates everything near his mouth.


any tips???? im kinda desperate, hes the most high needs kid ive ever met hes angry/sad 90% of his whole day always whining really miserable child and super stubborn. i think this is all due to a serious obsession with breastfeeding.

helpppppp

 

[sandilion]

Wow - poor you! I just wanna start by saying you have done an amazing job BF him this long, under those conditions too!

I can see my son would have ended up being the same if i was able to BF him longer... but i was forced to stop due to returning back to work (shift work) when he was just 10 months.

I dont have extended BF experience, but i do have strong willed boob dependent baby experience and my only advise to you is perseverance. You're the one who dictates here, not your child... correct me if i am wrong but i think your son really needs to be started with solids now, and consuming a portion of solids a day for his growth and development. I think by his age they need more than just BM .... I don't want to scare you, but that should be incentive to start being a lot stricter. I will warn you, he WILL get upset.. probably hysterical.... but you're going to have to bite the bullet and just tolerate it. It wont last for ever.... he'll adjust to the changes eventually as babies are adaptable, but in your case he is very very dependent so you have some hard work ahead of you.

He'll probably need it replaced with a bottle so he can get comfort from that for a while. So I guess my advice would be to break him into a bottle. Does he take bottles at all? With your expressed milk? Then you can start to go half your BM then half other milk (I see you're vegan so i guess a non dairy substitute)

I guess that's how i would tackle it ... weaning from breast to bottle instead of cutting it all off at once so he still has something.

Sorry if im not much help, but i feel for ya

 

[missk1989]

IM sure you have tried everything to get him to eat solids but have you tried the ellas kitchen smoothies? "The red one" is popular with us. Its a small mouth piece and lo can feed themselves by sucking the smoothie out. Its sweet which should be encouraging. Im thinking it might be a gateway to then press on with solids. good luck.

 

[superfrizbee]

You've done so incredibly well to cope under such hard circumstances! I remember a thread you wrote a while back about his sleep being terrible. Have you managed to make any improvements there? The reason I ask if if he is still sleeping poorly he may be chronicly tired and therefore sucking for comfort from that. It might be that this is all connected and if he felt less tired he would be more receptive to trying something new food wise and less dependent on breastfeeding. Sorry if this isn't the case anymore, it just occured to me that the problem might not be food as much as sleep/tiredness issues effecting things. I hope you find the answers you need!

 

[daneuse27]

A mom in the baby group I'm apart of is having the same problem with her 9 month old little boy. He won't eat a single thing (literally nothing) and wants to breastfeed constantly. At your boy's age, this doesn't seem healthy -I'm sure he needs to be getting some nutrition from actual food. I'm sure you know that already, I honestly wish I had some advice on how to get real food in his mouth, but I really have no idea I never know what to say to my playgroup friend who talks about this son of her's either, because my daughter has always been a big eater..
I could be totally wrong here, but I think you should distract him and discourage him from using the boob and put more emphasis on other things. If he does eat something else, you should act very happy, smile, look proud and reward him somehow. Whenever my LO notices that something makes me happy, she continues to do it over and over.. Maybe your son will too.
I don't plan on extended breastfeeding well into the toddler years, but my daughter is almost 12 months now and she is only breastfed at certain times throughout the day. I think she's gotten used to it only happening at certain times and she never asks for it outside of those times. As someone else said, you call the shots here; not your son. Maybe developing some kind of routine would help (not sure how things currently are) but if he gets used to things happening in a certain order each day... such as nurse, (attempted) breakfast toys, bath, nap, nurse, story time, stroller walk, nap.. you get the idea, he may get used the structure and go with it instead of constantly going for the boob. Just a suggestion.. no idea if it will work! I hope you find your answers soon

 

[steph.]

My lo was also boob obsessed. I couldnt even sit down or give her a cuddle without her wanting boob. If i didnt give it to her she would have a melt down. Until one day I was so tired of the whole thing I had a melt down with her and decided to do something about it. She was 16 months.

Our situation was a bit different as she did eat solid food, but refused all other milk. I had already weaned her at night and had stopped giving it to her in the early morning and before bed. So it was between the hours of 9am-5pm that she expected boob. I stopped cold turkey. It was the only way for us, and it was much easier than expected. The first couple of days she threw tantrums, like on the floor screaming, on the 3rd day she was easily distracted by a treat (an ice lolly, or a cup filled with ice cubes) something that was a novelty. After a week she stopped asking for it. After 2 weeks she had completely forgotten about it. Shortly after she stopped she started drinking more and more milk from a cup.

My advice is to go out of the house as much as possible, and when he does ask for it distract with something else. I am sure he wont starve himself and will start eating, but maybe ask your doctor just to be sure?

 

[steph.]

Also thought that I would add that I do miss breastfeeding sometimes, but as a whole we are both much happier. I can sit down (yay!) and give her lots of kisses and cuddles, and the tantrums are much less.

 

[staralfur]

How is he sleeping? If I remember correctly, you nurse him to sleep, right? If he's still sleeping terribly then it could be that he associates boob with sleep and if he's tired, he might just be constantly wanting to nurse. That was my first thought, anyway, I could be totally off.

If he is still sleeping poorly and nursing to sleep, you might benefit from separating the two.