How could a friend do that?

[Lors]

I am so upset, I confided in one of my male friends at work last week that I was pregnant as we were setting up for an exhibition together and there was a fair amount of heavy lifting involved, I asked him to keep it confidential as there was only a couple of weeks till my scan then I will be telling everyone officially (including my boss - who I am dreading telling) ....and I am so dissapointed to find out to today that he has been gossiping like an old fish wife to anyone who would listen! So the whole place knows and I havent even had my scan (its next thursday!) So I have now been forced in to preparing to tell my boss over the phone this afternoon before he 'hears' it from someone else!! I cant explain how hurt/angry and deflated I feel! I feel that it wasnt his news to tell and he has stolen my thunder a bit and I now have to tell my boss yet there is still a week to go before I know for sure everything is OK!! I could just cry...is the world really like that, that you cant trust anyone with anything sacred?

 

[gk1701]

That is grossly unprofessional and immature. Tell him and tell human resources and then tell your boss. Sorry that happened.

 

[bambi23]

I have exactly the same problem!
I work in retail so it does involve a lot of heavy lifting. I told two members of staff for the same reason.
One went and told 90% of the rest of the staff that it was public knowledge and i hadnt bothered to tell them
Needless to say ive had a lot of explainin to do..

Did you explain to him how you felt? x

 

[bambi23]

I have exactly the same problem!
I work in retail so it does involve a lot of heavy lifting. I told two members of staff for the same reason.
One went and told 90% of the rest of the staff that it was public knowledge and i hadnt bothered to tell them
Needless to say ive had a lot of explainin to do..

Did you explain to him how you felt? x

btw ive just read that back.. I mean your boss not the person.
Is your boss aware of what happened?

 

[Lors]

I have exactly the same problem!
I work in retail so it does involve a lot of heavy lifting. I told two members of staff for the same reason.
One went and told 90% of the rest of the staff that it was public knowledge and i hadnt bothered to tell them
Needless to say ive had a lot of explainin to do..

Did you explain to him how you felt? x

Net yet, I have been trying to calm down. I spoke to HR because I told her (she works in the office next to me so she pretty much had guessed anyways with the amount of toilet stops I have been making) and she hasnt told anyone. I will find him this afternoon and have a word, I am just so annoyed that he has forced my hand to tell my boss rather than waiting till I am ready....not to be pessimistic, but I really wanted to know for sure everything was OK at my scan before everyone at work knew and I had to tell my boss (who relies on me so much he is going to freak a bit when I tell him I think! Maybe not to my face, but he will be panicking inside). Now if something bad happens it is not just HR I have to tell it is the whole place! Plus it will be like, hey I am officially pregnant and everyone is going to be like, yeah we knew that!! As this is my first baby I really feel so gutted to not be the one to have told people! I am sorry you have had to deal with this too! It is horrible and I hope you also passed on your feelings about how annoyed you are that they could not keep your confidence. xx

 

[Lors]

I have exactly the same problem!
I work in retail so it does involve a lot of heavy lifting. I told two members of staff for the same reason.
One went and told 90% of the rest of the staff that it was public knowledge and i hadnt bothered to tell them
Needless to say ive had a lot of explainin to do..

Did you explain to him how you felt? x

btw ive just read that back.. I mean your boss not the person.
Is your boss aware of what happened?

Hopefully not yet! Currently he is based in a different office so I am going to have to tell him this afternoon!

 

[bambi23]

Yeah i tried that, he just didnt get where i was coming from.
Yeah its my first too and im only 9 weeks so its not like im 'out of the woods' yet so to speak.
im already worrying about what might happen so its just kind of added one more thing to the worrys :/ x

 

[kirsteen]

I know how you feel I had only told 4 close people by 10 weeks and didnt want everyone knowing, but I guess I misplaced my trust and now everyone knows I was also then forced into telling my dad and brothers before I had prepared (they are quite judgemental,especially as it wasn't planned and me and OH haven't moved into our own place together yet) Hope you are ok though, we arent all like that, I have told other people who havnt said anything! x

 

[Lors]

I know how you feel I had only told 4 close people by 10 weeks and didnt want everyone knowing, but I guess I misplaced my trust and now everyone knows I was also then forced into telling my dad and brothers before I had prepared (they are quite judgemental,especially as it wasn't planned and me and OH haven't moved into our own place together yet) Hope you are ok though, we arent all like that, I have told other people who havnt said anything! x

Hi Kirsteen, I am sorry you had that happen too, plus side I just told my boss and his reaction was alot better than I thought it was going to be! Still feel annoyed and hurt at the broken trust though! I have other firends who have kept it themselves too but it is always upsetting when you think you can trust someone and they break your confidence! Now fingers (and legs) crossed for everything to be A-OK at the scan next week! xx

 

[cbass929]

It seems a lot of people are having trouble with people keeping their mouth shut when they tell them. I'm really sorry. I'm really glad the 3 people i have told haven't said anything yet. But i'll be letting everyone know this weekend sometime. I get my scan in just a couple hours

 

[Lors]

Yeah i tried that, he just didnt get where i was coming from.
Yeah its my first too and im only 9 weeks so its not like im 'out of the woods' yet so to speak.
im already worrying about what might happen so its just kind of added one more thing to the worrys :/ x

Try to relax and not get yourself unduly stressed out! I have calmed dowm a bit now, still upset but just have to think positively. Fingers crossed for you xx

 

[Lors]

It seems a lot of people are having trouble with people keeping their mouth shut when they tell them. I'm really sorry. I'm really glad the 3 people i have told haven't said anything yet. But i'll be letting everyone know this weekend sometime. I get my scan in just a couple hours

Oh how exciting, good luck with that! Am sure it will be awesome! xx

 

[Lors]

Update - I told my boss, he was very happy for me and did not react quite as badly as I thought he would! Said he expected it sooner or later! Still plan on having a word with the 'friend' though to tell him how I feel!

 

[poppytal pope]

oh for gods sake bloody men are such ass holes arent they! i would tear a strip of him for blabbing and you could throw in this " you know its bad luck to tell before 12 weeks and although i had to tell you because of the lifting and if some thing does happen im blaming you for it!" i dont wish that on anyone but some times we are forced to tellsome one for reasons relating to work, it wasnt his news to tell , if i were you i would pass the time by plotting some nasty rumours about him! i feel particularly poisonous towards men! as when i was only a few weeks pregnant i was in a car with a male work colleague who was showing off and pulled an emergency stop for no reason and obviously hurt my belly needless to say the" punishment" went on for weeks and weeks, i sung like a canary about what happened everyone hates him now! i know we should rise above it but its no good putting up and shutting up hormones areall over the place!!

 

[poppytal pope]

Update - I told my boss, he was very happy for me and did not react quite as badly as I thought he would! Said he expected it sooner or later! Still plan on having a word with the 'friend' though to tell him how I feel!

i like the way you use "friend" i just had a rant about men to!

 

[Sunshine12]

Thats terrible Lors. If I were you I would take this guy to one side and straight out ask him why he felt he had to gossip about it when you very clearly told him in confidence. I would make a point of telling him how upset you are and that you will never trust him with anything again. What an idiot!

 

[Lors]

Thats terrible Lors. If I were you I would take this guy to one side and straight out ask him why he felt he had to gossip about it when you very clearly told him in confidence. I would make a point of telling him how upset you are and that you will never trust him with anything again. What an idiot!

That's what I am planning to do! Just so upset that he felt it was OK to tell everyone my news, and also I really didnt want too many people to know before next thursday when I see everything is fine (a bit supersticious I know!!) but apparently he is the work gossip but I didnt know that as I am not really in an office that gets alot of gossip traffic - he is on fire today though, I just got told that apparently he came in to our receptionist and told her that one of the boys has been suspended before HR even got out of the meeting!! (Obviously the guy involved had come out and told him - and within minutes he is over telling everyone!) The thing is I dont think he means to be mean or spoil it, he just cant help knowing things without blabbing by the sound of it! I have truly learned my lesson!!

 

[Lucii1990]

I know the feeling hun!!
I didnt want to tell anyone til my 12 weeks scan....not had the the date yet and im 10 weeks!! And i wasn't telling anyone til i had the scan, but some little idiot found out from one of my best friends, and posted it all over Facebook!!!! I was devastated...i didn't want to tell anyone except family and work...didn't wanna jinx things...just goes to show WHO your true friends are!! xx

 

[kirsteen]

Thankyou! hope it goes well for you too! what you have to remeber though is you are still having a baby and thats more important than anything! glad your boss took it well xx

 

[MrsWooolf]

Oh no Lors!!!! I've told my mum, brother and 2 friends.... I have a feeling 1 friend has blabbed to our other friend (who had a mc recently so I didn't want to gloat) I'm not 100% sure but just lil comments about I won't be drinking etc at parties make me wonder. Nothing I can do about it and I know 3rd friend won't blab but still pisses me off cos it's my news to share!!!

He deff deserves a talking to and a telling off that you won't be trusting him again! Glad your Boss was ok with you Hun

X