How did you take the news that you can only get pregnant by IVF?

[biscuitnodles]

Hello,

Girls, I am just curious how you and your DH coped with finding out you could only get pregnant through IVF/ICSI?

I am really worried about going through it, that it might fail, that if it works I might get twins, how I am going to pay for it.....the list goes on!!

Help, I'm going mad, is this normal? Talking to family is not helping as they have no idea what I'm going through.


Thanks,

Amanda

 

[hopes fading]

Hi Amanda. I didn't want to r&r. I am not yet in the same situ but I can imagine how scared you must feel. Are you entitled to a go on the NHS? I hope so. I was shown an article in the daily mail recently which said that by April 2011, all women aged between 29 & 39 (at least I think those were the ages but it may be worth checking) will be entitled to at least 1 go at IVF on the NHS. It gave me hope because as it stands, I wouldn't get anything. Wishing you lots of luck and I hope someone comes along soon who can offer you advice. Hopes. X

 

[Blue12]

Don't know if this sounds strange... but here was my reaction.

I was shocked and worried about all the things that you are worried about - it working, cost, managing multiples, etc etc. But the other thing I kept thinking was how lucky I was to be at this point in my life at this point in time. I know a number of people who never had children because the technology wasn't available.

So, in a strange way I felt lucky - although of course there is no guarantee.

 

[Flake-y]

Hi Amanda;

I remember you a few months back from 1st Time Bubba's team? Think you were in the middle of getting tests done, as were we.

Anyway, we found out in March that my DH is completely infertile, and we have just had IUI treatment with donor sperm which was our only option. Currently in 2ww!

It was awful finding out at first, but in all honesty, it's been less stressful the last few months not having to TTC, that I knew AF was coming & didn't have to wonder if I was pg; and that the odds of IVF/ICSI working are far higher than a single cycle of natural TTC; that thought helped me a lot!!!

Your worries are completely normal, I certainly thought all of those things (we were told at first we would need ICSI); but you will feel better, I promise!

Have you already been referred to a fertility clinic?

 

[biscuitnodles]

Hi Amanda;

I remember you a few months back from 1st Time Bubba's team? Think you were in the middle of getting tests done, as were we.

Anyway, we found out in March that my DH is completely infertile, and we have just had IUI treatment with donor sperm which was our only option. Currently in 2ww!

It was awful finding out at first, but in all honesty, it's been less stressful the last few months not having to TTC, that I knew AF was coming & didn't have to wonder if I was pg; and that the odds of IVF/ICSI working are far higher than a single cycle of natural TTC; that thought helped me a lot!!!

Your worries are completely normal, I certainly thought all of those things (we were told at first we would need ICSI); but you will feel better, I promise!

Have you already been referred to a fertility clinic?

Hello Jo,

Yes, I remember you too! I have not been on here in ages as I was winding myself up symptom checking and was never pregnant! However, since I found out from the Fertility/Gynae expert that we have to have IVF due to DH's low sperm count and mobility I thought that talking to other women going through the same thing would really help. Talking to family is not helping to much as they keep saying 'maybe if you relax it might just happen' and I want to hit them in the face!!!

Good luck with your 2ww - I hope the symptoms are looking good.... If it works there is hope for us all!!

Keep me posted xxx

 

[biscuitnodles]

Sorry, I forgot to say, we have been referred to the fertility/gynae dr at the local hospital. DH is having some bloods done for cystic fibrosis and some other things and I am waiting for an app for a laparoscopy as I might have endometriosis, but other that my fertility is okay. So, we can't start IVF until after all that. I am worried about finding the money though.....

 

[BizyBee]

Like Blue, I felt lucky. I looked at it as an opportunity. Although the dr. said it was a slight possibility I could do it on my own, it could take years without medical assistance (and then I would miscarry due to lack of hormones). IVF was the best option with meds and close monitoring. OH handled it really well. He was fed up with all of waiting too, so he was excited about trying something new.

 

[raf-wife]

i agree with what the others have said, i found out a couple of weeks ago that we need ivf and although initially it came as a shock, even though id kinda been expecting it its strange how it feels to be told it, i had a good cry and then felt releived to finally know whats wrong and hopefully start making some progress instead of just waiting for it to happen, i wish id pushed more to find out sooner.

good luck hun

 

[Dilek]

I think for me that since DH and I were married (3yrs) we were only able to TTC natural for 3 months. And i had no clue about ovulation I had to go on temp menapause in between all my surgeries. And our only hope was IVF. I was very grateful as Blue said that we now have the technology but it was a catch 22. The IVF drugs made me endo worse, see i had it all cleaned up before IVF1 and after mc, i had to have another surgery to clean up again as IVF drugs make it even more aggressive. Which then they would hack a part of my ovary off too. Which then reduces my egg reserves. I think for me it was harder to deal with my Endo/dermoid cyst issues than IVF.

I am very grateful for the fact that i am pregnant, but i know my battle is not over. Once i give birth im back to have surgeries every 6 months I wish just wish my problem was only a basic infertility issue or unexplained. But u can only hope and wish that maybe the pregnancy has gotten rid of all my endo and dermoid issues.

 

[Flake-y]

Sorry, I forgot to say, we have been referred to the fertility/gynae dr at the local hospital. DH is having some bloods done for cystic fibrosis and some other things and I am waiting for an app for a laparoscopy as I might have endometriosis, but other that my fertility is okay. So, we can't start IVF until after all that. I am worried about finding the money though.....

Yes if it's not the "relax" quote, it's the "it could be worse"!!!!!

The money is a worry, I know some clinics drastically reduce the cost if you donate your eggs; not sure if that's something you'll be interested in but it's certainly worth thinking about.

Will you not get any treatment on the NHS?

 

[Deb111]

Hi Biscuit

My hubby has been diagnosed with azoospermia, like Jo's, but we're still waiting on the op to see if they can find sperm. We wont conceive without help - if they find sperm, it will be IVSI, otherwise we have to consider donor sperm.

As for my feelings about it all ... disbelief, shock, fear, anger, grief, worrying about 'messing about with nature' ... every feeling and emotion under the sun I reckon. I do know how lucky we are .. 10 years ago, a diagnosis of azoospermia would have been the end of the road and adoption would have been the only option - at we least we have other options and a small glimmer of hope, but I try to take heart in the fact that the other girls on here have ended up taking IVF/ICSI pretty much in their stride and are an inspiration, so I'm hoping I can follow, but for now, I am totally with you about being scared and you're not going mad - it's totally normal xx

 

[emilyjean]

I'm sorry you had to hear the devastating news too.

At first, it was sadness, quite a few tears after we left the doctor. My husband was devastated as well, as it was a total turn around finding out that it was in fact HE that was making it impossible for us to conceive. He has a very low count. However, now I'm relieved, if still a bit sad. It makes me feel like the pressure is off, so that's good, however it's sad that we most likely won't ever just turn up pregnant by ourselves.

I'm worried about the IVF cycle, however I've read a book that helped me a lot! 'A couple's guide to IVF' or something. Very good, it talks you through the entire cycle. You won't get twins/trips/quads unless you implant more than 1 embryo, so if you don't want twins, don't risk transferring more than one embryo. I'm very scared of starting a cycle that gets cancelled half way through it, and the daily needle injections that I'll have to give myself as my husband is only home 3 days a week.

 

[biscuitnodles]

Thanks everyone for making me feel better, it's nice to know my worries are normal! You are all right too, we are so lucky that we can be helped by IVF or other procedures instead of giving up. We are being giving another chance-even if it does not work first time!!

Thanks girls!

Amanda

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey, we got told in 2008 that we would only get preggers by IVF. My initial reaction was 'thank god we have options'... because that's what we had. I didn't really consider it not working or the cost implications etc. I was just pleased that the NHS would give us a go on the IVF.

There is no point worrying about the things you can't control - don't worry about it not working until you are in that situation, don't worry about twins (have 1 embryo transferred)...... there are ways around all of these things. I had hope all the way through my treatment and even now i'm starting to get my hope back again.

You will get there and whilst you have options anything is possible

 

[biscuitnodles]

Thanks Emily,

I am really worried about the injections too! A wuss with pain. Let me know how you get on..... I might look for that book too

Amanda

I'm sorry you had to hear the devastating news too.

At first, it was sadness, quite a few tears after we left the doctor. My husband was devastated as well, as it was a total turn around finding out that it was in fact HE that was making it impossible for us to conceive. He has a very low count. However, now I'm relieved, if still a bit sad. It makes me feel like the pressure is off, so that's good, however it's sad that we most likely won't ever just turn up pregnant by ourselves.

I'm worried about the IVF cycle, however I've read a book that helped me a lot! 'A couple's guide to IVF' or something. Very good, it talks you through the entire cycle. You won't get twins/trips/quads unless you implant more than 1 embryo, so if you don't want twins, don't risk transferring more than one embryo. I'm very scared of starting a cycle that gets cancelled half way through it, and the daily needle injections that I'll have to give myself as my husband is only home 3 days a week.

 

[PR&TR13]

Great question! And amazing & inspiring answers!

I think that the first time you hear that you're having fertility problems is the hardest step! I couldn't believe it & would question why if my DH & I are very active & healthy people. But like everyone said now a days you have options and that's a blessing.

We are going to try IUI first but we are open for IVF option if needed, like my DH said we will try anything we can until we run out of options

Good luck ladies

 

[maaybe2010]

Umm. . . . he didn't react really

We're both just happy that we've actually got an option to have a baby that is genetically both ours, as opposed to only having the options of sperm donor or surrogate

 

[LisaBananaman]

Hey girls

I just found out yesterday that IVF is the only real option for us. After two and a half years TTC, it turns out that the ends of both tubes are damaged. I still have to have the lap & dye to confirm the diagnosis but the FS didn't seem to hold out much hope of us conceiving naturally.

I was (as still am) very upset. I guess I just never thought that this would happen to us and that IVF was something 'other' people went through. I am scared it won't work and wondering what happens if we want more than one child. I feel like if this doesn't work, I don't have any options left. For me, IVF was always a last option - now it's our only option.

All I can do now is wait for the lap and hope that it's maybe not as bad as the HSG suggests. Sorry for the selfish post ladies - I'm still in a bit of shock and tring to make sense of everything.

Loads of to everybody here xxxx

 

[zowiey]

To be completely honest I felt absolutely gutted. And then very angry, but now I'm so thankful to have this hope. I know once we start treatment I will be a complete wreck, but for now, it's my light at the end of a very dark tunnel. It still hurts that I probably won't ever get that surprise BFP, but that's life. I just hope and pray I get a bfp one day.

Sending everyone lots of love & hugs!!
xxxx

 

[avenna]

Just found out yesterday that we will need to have ICSI to conceive.
At the minute me and Hubby are a little unsure wether or not we want to go through with it. We are very very grateful and really do appreciate the opportunity to have the treatment but like a few others have mentioned, we're just a bit concerned with the idea of 'messing with nature'
Hubby was completely cool with it, but then he always is. I was a little teary but am OK now. a day for it to sink in and we don't know too much about ICSI still
xxx