How did you tell your parents?

[sarahstead]

Hi everybody

My name is Sarah, I'm 20 and third year Journalism Student at the University of Sheffield. A major part of my final assessment is a group project - we have to make a magazine. Yep, a whole magazine. We chose to make ours for teen mums. It's going to be called Bump.

I'm writing an article about how to tell your parents you're pregnant. I've spoken to a teen pregnancy support worker who's going to help me out and provide advice, and now I need to hear about your experiences. You're the most important people to this magazine, it's all about you!

I realise this could seem a little dodgy (I've had trouble with it before!) and so if you'd like any proof of who I am please send an email to my university email address - [email protected], or Facebook me - Sarah Stead in the university of sheffield network, or Myspace me - myspace.com/sarahspace.

I'd be SO appreciative if you could help me a bit. If you'd like to help me:

a) You are lovely.

b) Please answer a few questions about your experience, and elaborate as much as you'd like. The more you can tell me the better...
- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
- Did you tell anybody else first?
- How did you tell your parents?
- How did they react?
- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc

Thank you SO so much.

Sarah Stead x

 

[Serene123]

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
Rejection.
- Did you tell anybody else first?
My sister, my OH and my friends that were with me when I tested.
- How did you tell your parents?
Called my mum, my brother told my dad.
- How did they react?
Mum cried, dad didn't care.
- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc.
I'm happy that my mum kept her promise and didn't get mad at me. I expected her to be upset. She had a right to be upset and shocked. She only wants the best for me. Now she's the most excited nan-to-be on the planet. I'm glad I told her straight away.

 

[sarahstead]

Wow thanks for the speedy reply! Can I add to my question -

What did you say to them?

Thank youuu x

 

[kadey]

Dont know if u can use this, i m/c 2years ago but had told my parents, now im pregnant again and cant tell them...im scared.

What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
the first time i was scared they would go crazy and want to kill the boy haha
this time im just scared they will think i have made a mistake

Did you tell anybody else first?
the first time i told a few ppl, my sister, my friends who were with me, the dad, then i told the family.
this time the daddy knows, and one of my friends. im going to tell the family once i have had my first appt with midwife.

How did you tell your parents?
first time i told them both over the phone
this time...well ill let you know.

How did they react?
first time, they both took it really well and gave me lots of support when i m/c
this time again i will have to let you know.

How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc
i wish i had told them face to face, i might do that this time not sure yet.

ill let you know how they take the news this time

 

[Serene123]

What did you say to them?
I told my mum I needed to tell her something. She asked me what I needed to tell her. I told her that I changed my mind and that I couldn't tell her. She said I had to now, no matter how bad it was, and that she'd always stick by me no matter what I had done. I made her promise not to get mad after that, and she said she wouldn't. I said "I'm having a baby." She didn't believe me at first. I told her to ask my sister as I had told her the day before. She hung up and went to speak to my sister. When she called me back she was quite upset and asked me the usual questions. "Are you sure you want this?" "Have you thought it through?" She then continued on to say "you're ruining your life." I told her I wasn't ruining my life, I was changing it. I had made it 10x more difficult, but 10x more worth it.

 

[Serene123]

I have to bop off to the midwife now but if you have anymore questions I don't mind answering them.

 

[Younglutonmum]

-What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?

I wasn't scared. My mum has always rammed it into my head that if I ever fall pregnant to tell her asap & she'll support me. My mum had me at 18 & didn't tell her mum till 2 weeks before she had me!! My mum said it was pure torture & would never want me to go through that

- Did you tell anybody else first?

Well obviously I told my babys father as he was there when I took the test. I also phoned my best friend to tell her aas she's older & a mum of 3 so I felt she could help me get my head round it!

- How did you tell your parents?

Well I texted my mum & said mum, im pregnant' At the time I wasnt close to my dad so my brother passed on the news. We told the babys dads parents face to face.

- How did they react?

My mum was like 'oh right, ermmm not sure what to say' shes been great though especially as the babys dad left me. My dad swore alot but has come round now. I even live with him!! But my babys dads parents went mad. Accused me of doing it on purpose!!

- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc

Im glad I told them straight away as ive really needed there support especially now the babys dad isnt involved.

 

[Jinty]

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?

How they would react and the thought of them screaming at me because I'm chinese and getting pregnant at my age is like a big no no. I'm 17 by the way

- Did you tell anybody else first?

Obviously the boyfriend, boyfriend's mum and a couple of friends

- How did you tell your parents?

My mum was suspicious and asked me about it i denied it all first but then just blurted it out. My dad found out by my mum on the same day.

- How did they react?

Mum wasn't happy but wasn't angry or anything because i actually said i was going to get an abortion. I didn't actually know that my dad knew till my mum told me which was about 3-4 weeks later.

- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc

Quite happy because after my abortion appointment i decided to keep the baby and told them with a note, and hid at my boyfriends uncles house for a few days. I then moved in with my boyfriend and havn't heard of my parents for over a month. I'm quite happy that i don't have to deal with the conflict and the fact that i havn't seen them for so long doesn't bother me much because since i went out with my boyfriend for 2 years they disapproved from the beginning so I've drifted apart from them for a while.

 

[smileycelerys]

Hi everybody

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
- Did you tell anybody else first?
- How did you tell your parents?
- How did they react?
- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc

Thank you SO so much.

Sarah Stead x

me and boyfriend told our siblings who blabbed to his parents lol. but with my parents i phoned my mum had a chat then told her out right. she was happy as i am happy with it. my mum told my dad and i came round to talk to everyone the next evening and tell my younger sibling that they are going to be aunties and uncles. im glad i told them and that they are taking it so well. im 18 my boyfriend is 23

 

[AppleBlossom]

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
That they'd be dissappointed in me
- Did you tell anybody else first?
My OH and two of my closest friends
- How did you tell your parents?
My mum called me as a letter for my hospital appointment turned up at hers so I ended up telling her then. I went to theirs that night and told my dad
- How did they react?
Mum cried a lot. Dad seemed dissappointed but he didn't kill me like I thought he would
- What did you say to them?
Basically, "I'm pregnant."
- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc.
I still regret having to tell my mum on the phone because she got very upset understandably but I wasn't there to explain to her. I'm glad she made me go down and tell my dad to his face. Now they're both excited to be grandparents

 

[StirCrazy]

Moved to 'press and research'.

 

[sarahstead]

Thanks so much everybody! You're all great!

 

[MrTashaAndBum]

Well, found it easy to tell my mum (on the phone)... the best was telling my brother:

Me: I have something to tell you, T...
T: You're pregnant?
Me: No, but Tasha is....

Couldn't have done it better if I'd tried...

 

[nikky0907]

-What were you afraid of before you told you pregnant?

Rejection,their anger.

-Did you tell anybody else first?

My sister,they baby's dad,my friends knew.

-How did you tell your parents?

I drove up to their house one day and told them I have to tell them something.They knew something was up because we haven't seen each other in months.We sat in the living room and I simply blurted it out.I told them ''I'm pregnant,I'm having a baby and keeping it''.

-How did they react?

Terrible.They were so angry,we fought,they said I was crazy and can't possibly keep it.Actually my dad wasn't so angry,it was more my mom,who even cried.My dad just sat there and said ''You're not keeping it,period''.It was like he wasn't surprised...

-What did you say to them?

I mentioned already.I said,''So the thing is that I'm pregnant and keeping it''.
We're not that close so I wasn't completely worried and scared...

-How do you feel now that you've told them...angry,regretful etc.?

I feel sad that they want nothing to do with it,but I do not regret telling them.I did my part and now the ball is in their court.If they want to change their mind,they can and I'd be happy,if they don't,I'm still happy...

Thats basicly it.If there's something else you want to know,I'd be glad to answer it for you...xxx

 

[Jane_Songful]

I didn't, lol. I waited until they noticed because I didn't know how to break it to them xD

 

[nemmie]

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
I was afraif of how they would react I am 22 but in my mind and theirs I'm still around 16. I was worried how she would take it and if she would be angry with me. I was worried that my dad would lose it and be mad and demand that my OH answer for what he has done. lol

- Did you tell anybody else first?
I told my OH and my collegues at work before my parents.

- How did you tell your parents?
My mum was sat at the dining room table doing her finances and I made her a cup of tea and was having a joke with her and tried to help her out with her finances. I wasn't planning on telling her then I was going to tell her after i had my docs appointment but after a quick call to my OH we decided it would be best to tell our parents then and get it over with like pulling off a plaster!

- How did they react?
My mum was shocked and was like hmmm ok how do I feel about it? She had a lot of questions and things about how we would manage to which most of my answers were (and still are) I don't know. She has been great very supportive. Now she jokes about it all the time. My dad was almost relieved! He told me afterwards that he has been worried about the day I woud annouce my pregnancy since I was 3 years old lol, and when it finally happened it wasn;t as bad as it could have been. I am in a stable relationship they like my OH.

- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc
I was relieved like a huge weight off my shoulders. I could talk to my parents again without feeling like I was hiding something and being mean. I could sleep. I could relax. Plus I had my mum who I could talk to about all my concerns and worries.

What did you say to them?
Basically my dad was working away so I told my mum by her self first. I basically said "Mum, I've got something to tell you" "whats wrong hunny?" "well it's my and OH, we kinda sorta had an accident and I'm pregnant" she asked why i didnt take the morning after pill i said because it's happened in the past and nothing came of it, and i didnt think the dates in my cycle matched kinda thing. she asked how far i was and for how long i knew for. She then told my dad when he came home from working away and told him that i would have liked to tell him to his face but he was away and I had to go back to craigs.

On a side note to avoid my parents finding out before my OHs we actually decided to do it at exactly the same time. I think it was a comfort to both to know that each other was finding out at that precise moment!

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Heya am Rachel an i'm 16 (still at school) an i'm 31 weeks + 2 days pregnant with a precious little baby boy, Jayden Robert.

- What were you afraid of before you told your parents you were pregnant?
That they would be dissapointed in me for getting pregnant at 16, an to been seen as a disgrace to my family.
- Did you tell anybody else first?
My step mum, she was the one who persuaded me to take the test and helped me deal with things as they happened e.g. telling babies dad + going the doctors.
- How did you tell your parents?
I didnt actually tell my mum, my auntie did because i was so scared! but after she calmed down i went home.
I was havin a discussion with my dad about 'what would he do if i said i was..' then he said are you tryin to tell me somethin an i cried so then he knew. - How did they react?
My mum went completely nuts, smashed a few things up in the house but eventually calmed down by the time i got there an she gave me a hug an asked if iwas ok.
My dad told me to get out his face because he was disgusted in me.
- How do you feel about how you told them... are you glad, regretful, etc
Now, i wish i had told my mum myself because it was my problem and i shouldn't have left it to other people to deal with it for me. My mum is now the proudest/excited nanny to be ever, even though i know she wished i did things differently she has been my rock and has supported me throughout this pregnancy.
I wish i didnt tell my dad at all, i don't even no why i did because we never talk to eachother.