How do you cope with other women's pregnancies?

[Ruth2307]

Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane!

I'm sorry but....WTF????

What an incredibly offensive and disgusting thing to say! Even moreso because the pregnant woman who walks by you who you're imagining to spit on could have been in exactly the same situation as you and tried for months, even years to get the blessing of being pregnant.

I have so much sympathy and respect for people who are TTC because I was there once myself so know exactly how you're feeling because I have PCOS and didn't think I'd ever be able to have children, luckily for me I got there in the end, but it took a while. You can't complain about pregnant women saying things and being insensitive when you TTC ladies come out with atrocious things like that. It's just not nice at all.

I am sure that there was an element of 'tongue in cheek' about Gracefaces' comment.

As inappropriate as it may be I have to be honest and admit that there are times when I have seen a pregnant woman and felt such longing and envy that yes, it does tip over into directing my thoughts at her. Completely unfair and totally irrational even more so if I dont know this woman from Eve! Childlessness has taken my mind to places I never thought I'd go to. That's part of the reason I posted in the first place in order to get some advice on how to deal with this whirlwind of emotions.

However at lot of the time the disappointment is at its stongest when it's someone that I know who announces her pregnancy rather than just random women I may come into contact with.

Thank you very much for your comment, as you are right to remind of us the fact that billions of women have fertilility problems. We sometimes have no idea of their circumstances and how long they have been battling and this may well be a long awaited child. It's good to get some perspective again.

It's wonderfully comforting to know that you have not forgotten about the pain and emptiness you can feel during this time because sad to say some women I come into contact with have incredibly short memories and I have experienced an element of 'rubbing my nose in it' (both intentionally and unintentionally) when they have crossed over into pregnancy and motherhood. I am thankful for women like you who remain empathetic and also give us hope.

 

[zowieboo]

Hi there, I have just joined this site today because I am feeling totally down at all those around me getting pregnant. We have been trying for so nearly 5 years now and so far nothing. About to start IVF in the summer but just feeling like a total failure today, its such a bad feeling but I feel a bit happier now I know I am not alone. I cope with being tpold the news by being overly enthsiastic and its so false but I feel like I want to look strong and confident when its the complete opposite, also I hate when people tell you and look kinda sad at you as if waiting for you to break down.

I am looking for some tips and advice on how you cope when either a friend or relative announces a pregnancy.

I realise that this depends on a number of factors i.e. who this person is to you, where you are on your 'journey' (an overused word but can't think of a better one!), the day of your cycle, where you are when you hear the news -I think you can see what I'm getting at.

Many times I just don't know how to react and by the time I've regained some composure I have given myself away and it's all I can do not to burst into tears. Or the words of congratulations stick in my throat and my smile is so fake! It's a tough one because you don't want to take away from their joy and happiness but at the same time it's hard to even speak when inside you feel something has died.

Also what do you tell people when they ask the dreaded 'don't you want kids then?' or questions of that ilk? At the moment I just say 'it didn't happen for me' but that sounds so lame!

Sorry if this has already been dealt with on this forum but I had a read through previous threads and I couldn't see it.

Thanks ladies...

Ruth xxxx[/QUOTE]

 

[Ruth2307]

Hello Zowieboo

Welcome to the site. I've only been a member for literally a few days and have already found great support from likeminded women. A couple of posts have made me laugh out loud - just what the Dr ordered. I'm sure you will find this too.

I'm sorry you've not been able to have a baby yet and you know what? I'm not going to patronise you and say 'chin up' or any of those other things you usually hear which just don't cut it when you feel heartbroken and overwhelmed with sadness. It's okay to feel bad about it.

I have no children (in fact there are no children in our family at all!) and have never even managed to get pregnant and at 37, that was not the plan.

However (and this is a big however) you cannot give up hope. From what I hear IVF is hard work and you'll need every ounce of energy to get through it so hang on in there.
xxxx

 

[luvmydoggies]

Hello Zowieboo!!! Welcome!

I am 37, and have never been pregnant either, just like what Ruth said. I joined this site a few weeks ago and and have found tremendous support!!! I feel like this is a place where you can be truly honest and not be judged.

Hi Ruth! How are you doing? Been thinking about you!!!

Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!

My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!

 

[LulaBug]

Ruth, none of my friends are looking to ttc. They have all had their babies and are done. I have no one to share this with except OH and he is of the opinion that if it happens "GREAT!" and if it doesn't, well then we have years to enjoy each other. I have one friend who I shared this with and he told me he would beat me with a stick if I end up pregnant. How's that for support? Well, since it really isn't his decision I just let it roll off my back. Other than that, when a pregnant woman walks by me I just pretend to spit at her! LOL! I know it isn't nice, but I have to do something to stay sane!

I'm sorry but....WTF????

What an incredibly offensive and disgusting thing to say! Even moreso because the pregnant woman who walks by you who you're imagining to spit on could have been in exactly the same situation as you and tried for months, even years to get the blessing of being pregnant.

I have so much sympathy and respect for people who are TTC because I was there once myself so know exactly how you're feeling because I have PCOS and didn't think I'd ever be able to have children, luckily for me I got there in the end, but it took a while. You can't complain about pregnant women saying things and being insensitive when you TTC ladies come out with atrocious things like that. It's just not nice at all.

I am sure that there was an element of 'tongue in cheek' about Gracefaces' comment.

As inappropriate as it may be I have to be honest and admit that there are times when I have seen a pregnant woman and felt such longing and envy that yes, it does tip over into directing my thoughts at her. Completely unfair and totally irrational even more so if I dont know this woman from Eve! Childlessness has taken my mind to places I never thought I'd go to. That's part of the reason I posted in the first place in order to get some advice on how to deal with this whirlwind of emotions.

However at lot of the time the disappointment is at its stongest when it's someone that I know who announces her pregnancy rather than just random women I may come into contact with.

Thank you very much for your comment, as you are right to remind of us the fact that billions of women have fertilility problems. We sometimes have no idea of their circumstances and how long they have been battling and this may well be a long awaited child. It's good to get some perspective again.

It's wonderfully comforting to know that you have not forgotten about the pain and emptiness you can feel during this time because sad to say some women I come into contact with have incredibly short memories and I have experienced an element of 'rubbing my nose in it' (both intentionally and unintentionally) when they have crossed over into pregnancy and motherhood. I am thankful for women like you who remain empathetic and also give us hope.

Thank you very much for your lovely reply.

I never ever will let myself forget the way I felt when I was desperate to become a mum.
I remember making all these plans when I was younger, that I was going to get a good job, meet a nice man, get married and have 2 or 3 kids.
My best friend on the other hand seemed so carefree and so uninterested in marriage and babies. Then out of nowhere, she meets a man, gets engaged and get's pregnant and all I could think at the time was "This isn't the way it's meant to go....it's meant to be me first."
I remember feeling insanely jealous when she showed me her positive test and couldn't help but feel sad that she'd wanted marriage and babies for all of 5 minutes and was having both and I'd wanted both for as long as I could remember and had neither.
I was constantly angry with my body because it wouldn't even let me have periods. I'd have like 2 a year sometimes so I felt like a failure there. I think I hated myself more than other people because of it. Maybe if there wasn't such a strong focus on my PCOS, then I'd have looked around.
Then of course, there was my cousin who had been a lesbian for years, got into a relationship with a man and suddenly found herself pregnant. Again, that was a total shock because she'd always been my lesbian cousin.
So I really do know where you're coming from and I do know how frustrating and depressing it is, when EVERYONE around you is getting pregnant and you're not.

When I met my OH, we were friends first and we got together after a while but in that time I'd confided in him about how much I wanted children and how I may never be able to have them. He suggested having tests at the hospital to see if I was infertile. He wanted children also and we were together by this point and decided to start trying the fertility tests and if they came back fine, we'd try and conceive. So the doctor referred us and I started undergoing tests and everything seemed to be OK. I had a scan to check my ovaries, they had cysts on the, my womb looked fine. My blood work came back sort of OK, some hormones were higher than others.
I was due to have the dye in my fallopian tubes to see if there were any blockages but couldn't have that done til OH had done his Sperm Analysis. Things had been getting difficult for a while, so the nurses said we could put the tests on hold for 6 months to give us a breather.

In the meantime, the doctor had put me on Metformin and my periods started to become more regular. I was becoming a POAS addict and each negative test I did, I just felt more and more deflated.

So the day I did get my I was absolutely shocked. I had no reason to believe I was pregnant, I did my test to use it up because I was due AF the following day and really thought it was going to come back negative. I did a digi test, so imagine my shock when out of the blue, the words "Pregnant 1-2" came up.

I'd wanted a child for many years, had taken almost a year of conceiving and I felt so blessed to have pregnancy finally happen for me and I vowed I would
never take it for granted. I feared everyday something bad would happen and that it would get snatched away from me as quick as it had come. It just felt too good to be true.

This is the reason why I felt so upset by the comment made by GraceFace, because although I understand that TTC can be and is such a stressful time, even more so, the longer it goes on, I can also see it from the pregnant woman/mother side of things.

My baby was very much wanted, had been waited for for a long time...well...long time for me, I know some women have to suffer the pain of trying fruitlessly for a lot longer than me but you get my drift, so thats why it shocked me to read that.

I just thought I'd explain things from my part, so you know that you're most definitely not alone in how you feel and although it worked out well for me, I have my precious baby, I've never forgotten and never will forget how it felt before I conceived and how much emotional pain I was in for fear I'd never be able to have children. But I like to think my story will have given you a bit more hope in that you'll get your happy ending. I truly hope you do.

xxxx

 

[Spoomie]

An interesting development to this thread, oh dear.... Just wanted to say that, those of us with children already who have suffered m/c or are the wrong side of 35 (or 40!), OR BOTH (!!!) understand only too well the pain of loss and longing and having children already does not lessen that. It means we remind ourselves that we are incredibly blessed and we feel like we have less right to be so upset, but we are, because we've lost our baby and all the hopes and dreams we had for his or her future, or we long to complete our families.

If Graceface will forgive me speaking on her behalf, I am certain she would only have meant it tongue in cheek. Of course we can't know what path pregnant women have taken to arrive at that point, but the upshot is, they have what we want and we would not be human if all we felt was an overwhelming sense of joy on their behalf, let's be honest!!! Graceface is funny, uplifting and incredibly supportive on this forum and I just wanted to sing her praises x

 

[LulaBug]

I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx

 

[luvmydoggies]

I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx

I think that you made your point, we all understand that you didn't like the comment but I didn't realize there was a thread police.

 

[LulaBug]

I'm sure GraceFace is a lovely person, it's not the person I took offence with, it was just the comment. Although it may have been tongue in cheek, for me personally, it just seemed to go beyond that line of humour. Xxx

I think that you made your point, we all understand that you didn't like the comment but I didn't realize there was a thread police.

OK..Wow!! Sorry if I came across as the "thread police" but am I not allowed to express my feelings about something someone has said that actually had a negative effect on me, even if it was meant as tongue in cheek, which at the time I didn't see?
I wonder how you would feel if someone made a tongue in cheek joke about ladies TTC. It wouldn't be nice and you'd be well within your rights to say something about it.
I'm really not trying to make this bigger than it has been made out. I made my point, I also explained my reason and also expressed no ill feelings towards the lady who wrote it.
It was never about trying to be the thread police. It was just about acknowledging something that had been said that didn't sit right with me.

 

[Ruth2307]

Blimey - I've only been a member for 5 days and I've started a 'controversial' post! Ha ha I'm not a troll honestly! Hey it's all good fun - no bad feelings from anyone I hope?

Maybe this thread has run it's course however if there are any further contributions let's keep it on track and you can help me with any appropriate responses for when you hear the words 'I'm pregnant' or 'don't you want kids?'; you know, those one liners that you can come out with that say everything but don't give anything away if you don't want to.

Ruth xxxx

 

[GraceFace]

Oh my...

Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.

I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...

 

[velo]

Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!

My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!

Hi luvmydoggies! Enjoy the break, sounds like he will be back just in time for the serious BD to begin!

I'm doing ok, I want to be doing something to move things forward but not much I can do right now. I called the lab about having the SA done for DH. Turns out we have to go further afield than I thought, as the lab the dr. said would do it does not, it shouldn't be a big deal though to try to work around dh's schedule. (I hope) Didn't book anything yet because he should check in with his doctor about antibiotics he is on and if this would not be a reflective time to have it done or not.

Wondering why my BBT yoyos but its hard to see a pattern this early in the month so I can't really read anything into it.

Trying to do everything I can to make the best environment in my body, but I caved and had a coffee on the weekend.

How are you?

 

[Spoomie]

Oh my...

Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.

I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...

Hi Grace

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, some days the task seems insurmountable, doesn't it I have a friend who suffered a stillbirth and who is helping me through my m/c and she told em that her counsellor described the 'journey' (that word again!) as being battered by the waves. It's an analogy that I really relate to and perhaps it can help you. The lows seem as though they will overwhelm and engulf you, they won't, they will pass. The highs (comparatively speaking!), which I have been feeling so guilty about, give you the strength to go forward and to face the next low, each time getting a bit stronger.

Keep looking forward to your goal and try to see the disappointment at the end of the 2ww as getting you a step closer to that. When it comes, the reward will be sweeter for having laboured so long to achieve it. And if all else fails (ref: our previous conversation about weight/exercise) then award yourself a cake!!! Bless you x

 

[GraceFace]

That is exactly what I needed to hear. And, yes, today is a new beginning. Not a new cycle, but a new day with a much better attitude for the future. I definitely have put the last cycle behind me and I intend on going forward next cycle with my plans. I took a break during ovulation this time to rebuild my reserves. Definitely needed and I'm much stronger emotionally than a few days ago. Thank you for your words of wisdom!

Oh my...

Lulabug, your point is taken. I'm truly very sorry that you were offended. I sometimes have really low days, as I'm sure you do, and feel like being a total brat. I'm not really sure that I should be apologizing for being human or letting it be known on a public forum what my insecurites are and how I very privately deal with them. Alternatively, that's the beauty here. I can say I am very happy for the women on here and definitely mean it. I can see a pregnant woman when its a beautiful day, in a fabulous mood, and smile kindly to her. I can also be having a very horrid day, again I will smile, but feel as though I am dying inside. This is especially true at the end of the 2ww and I just knew it was my turn for a BFP after all the symptom spotting.

I'm sure your story is heartbreaking and wish you the best. Please accept a heart felt apology. With that said, I make a lot of tongue and cheek comments. That's just me and at some point I hope you can look beyond your first interpretation and see that what I was trying to do was give the original poster a quick snort to lighten her mood. That's the point of this board; to support and help each other in our deepest darkest moments. As for me, I know I've just about hit the rock bottom and am desperately climbing my way out...

Hi Grace

So sorry to hear that you are feeling so low, some days the task seems insurmountable, doesn't it I have a friend who suffered a stillbirth and who is helping me through my m/c and she told em that her counsellor described the 'journey' (that word again!) as being battered by the waves. It's an analogy that I really relate to and perhaps it can help you. The lows seem as though they will overwhelm and engulf you, they won't, they will pass. The highs (comparatively speaking!), which I have been feeling so guilty about, give you the strength to go forward and to face the next low, each time getting a bit stronger.

Keep looking forward to your goal and try to see the disappointment at the end of the 2ww as getting you a step closer to that. When it comes, the reward will be sweeter for having laboured so long to achieve it. And if all else fails (ref: our previous conversation about weight/exercise) then award yourself a cake!!! Bless you x

 

[luvmydoggies]

Hi Velo! How are you doing? Been thinking about you too!!!

My dh just left on a business trip. He will be gone until Friday. I have to say, that it will be nice to have a little break. Hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!

Hi luvmydoggies! Enjoy the break, sounds like he will be back just in time for the serious BD to begin!

I'm doing ok, I want to be doing something to move things forward but not much I can do right now. I called the lab about having the SA done for DH. Turns out we have to go further afield than I thought, as the lab the dr. said would do it does not, it shouldn't be a big deal though to try to work around dh's schedule. (I hope) Didn't book anything yet because he should check in with his doctor about antibiotics he is on and if this would not be a reflective time to have it done or not.

Wondering why my BBT yoyos but its hard to see a pattern this early in the month so I can't really read anything into it.

Trying to do everything I can to make the best environment in my body, but I caved and had a coffee on the weekend.

How are you?

I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called) I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning . Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too!

 

[velo]

I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called) I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning . Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too!

Temping is good for confirming ovulation. You'll notice two phases of temperatures, lower before ov and higher after, and if you don't, its a good signal you are not ovulating (you can still bleed without ov). You can also use temping as a pg test, 18 days of higher temps you are almost certainly pg, but I think most of us get too impatient before 18 dpo to POAS! If your temps are dropping below the coverline after ov it may indicate a luteal phase defect where your progesterone is too low.

DH is going to his GP tomorrow, and if he says OK for getting the SA done now hopefully it can be done next Friday. Want to make sure its not during prime ov time as it involves abstaining for 48 hours

The yoga and meditating sound awesome!! I am really going nuts without my morning coffee. Two things that's not so great about coffee - one, its very acidic, (decaf too) and its important to have an alkaline environment in the vagina for conception. Second, I read that even having 1 cup a day can reduce fertility 50%. That was just one study so it may be not that accurate but I didn't want to take my chances. But other sources I've read say caffeine in moderation is fine. I think there needs to be balance between trying things that might be helpful and making sure we are not miserable which is not a good environment for baby making.

I went to see the TCM doctor yesterday and we did a consult but there wasn't time for acupuncture. But he said it was the perfect time in my cycle for acupuncture so I'm going back today. FX it helps. He also thought from looking at my tongue that I had blood stagnation. So hopefully getting things flowing smoothly will help.

I notice that the EPO which I started this cycle is increasing my mucus in general (had a runny nose yesterday which I never get!) so hope it also translates to the EWCM kind!

 

[luvmydoggies]

I'm doing pretty good! I hope that you can get an appointment for your dh soon. I don't have a BBT but was considering getting one. I know when I was using one before, it confused me and I got frustrated. This is going to sound stupid but I don't get the temping. I have tried to read on it, use fertility friend (i think that's what it is called) I'm trying to make the best environment for my body too! I started Yoga two weeks ago and I go every Monday. (a friend of my Moms is teaching it from her house) I have to say that it is a really tough workout but in a good way. We also do a lot of meditating and that puts me in a good place. I'm trying to eat better. I have to admit, I have one cup of coffee a day! It really is my only vice and I love my morning . Yes my dh better rest on his trip, because when he gets back, it's go time! ha ha... Your dh too!

Temping is good for confirming ovulation. You'll notice two phases of temperatures, lower before ov and higher after, and if you don't, its a good signal you are not ovulating (you can still bleed without ov). You can also use temping as a pg test, 18 days of higher temps you are almost certainly pg, but I think most of us get too impatient before 18 dpo to POAS! If your temps are dropping below the coverline after ov it may indicate a luteal phase defect where your progesterone is too low.

DH is going to his GP tomorrow, and if he says OK for getting the SA done now hopefully it can be done next Friday. Want to make sure its not during prime ov time as it involves abstaining for 48 hours

The yoga and meditating sound awesome!! I am really going nuts without my morning coffee. Two things that's not so great about coffee - one, its very acidic, (decaf too) and its important to have an alkaline environment in the vagina for conception. Second, I read that even having 1 cup a day can reduce fertility 50%. That was just one study so it may be not that accurate but I didn't want to take my chances. But other sources I've read say caffeine in moderation is fine. I think there needs to be balance between trying things that might be helpful and making sure we are not miserable which is not a good environment for baby making.

I went to see the TCM doctor yesterday and we did a consult but there wasn't time for acupuncture. But he said it was the perfect time in my cycle for acupuncture so I'm going back today. FX it helps. He also thought from looking at my tongue that I had blood stagnation. So hopefully getting things flowing smoothly will help.

I notice that the EPO which I started this cycle is increasing my mucus in general (had a runny nose yesterday which I never get!) so hope it also translates to the EWCM kind!

I am so sorry that I have not written to you in a while! I ended up getting the flu. I have been so sick!
How did your dh's gp appointment go? I hope they don't have to do the s/a during your ov. Did he have an s/a done? Thanks for telling me about the coffee...omg I had no idea it could reduce fertility so much. I might have to re-think that morning cupcry. Maybe I could have green tea and have a cup of coffee on the weekends. Also thank you for explaining the temping. I will try again. At least I could ask you, if I have any questions.
Acupuncture sounds great! Were you able to have it done? What was it like?
I have read a little about it, in a new book I bought, so I'm thinking of trying it. How are you doing otherwise? Been thinking about you.

 

[velo]

I am so sorry that I have not written to you in a while! I ended up getting the flu. I have been so sick!
How did your dh's gp appointment go? I hope they don't have to do the s/a during your ov. Did he have an s/a done? Thanks for telling me about the coffee...omg I had no idea it could reduce fertility so much. I might have to re-think that morning cupcry. Maybe I could have green tea and have a cup of coffee on the weekends. Also thank you for explaining the temping. I will try again. At least I could ask you, if I have any questions.
Acupuncture sounds great! Were you able to have it done? What was it like?
I have read a little about it, in a new book I bought, so I'm thinking of trying it. How are you doing otherwise? Been thinking about you.

Oh no, sorry to hear that you have been so sick! How are you feeling now? Hopefully 100% for prime time .

The GP thought he could have the SA done anytime, so the plan is to try to get an appt for this Friday. Otherwise it will be 2 more weeks before DH has a chance. I think I've ov'ed already (had a pos OPK two days ago) but haven't had the temp rise yet - hopefully tomorrow will confirm that.

As I've tried green tea instead of coffee it is not the same at all! I think you have to balance your own sanity with its potential (but not necessarily) effect on fertility. But less is probably better.

The acupuncture was good! It felt relaxing. At first there was a pain in my lower right abdomen, and the TCM doctor said that was because of a blockage (that may have been preventing me from getting pg) He adjusted the needles to open up the blood flow to that area better. We'll see! He also suggested some Chinese herbs. But I found them quite hard to take (packets of 50-100 tiny little pills that had a very foul odor, so I had gag reflex). In addition the boxes said do not take during pg, so I called him to ask if they were safe to take after ov, and although he said yes I didn't feel very confident in his answer, so I decided to stop taking them.

I've found another acupuncture TCM doctor who is further away but who specializes in fertility (and is more expensive too). My instinct is to go see her instead. But I think I will try to chillax first and see what happens this cycle, and with the s/a, and see about getting a gyno appt first for further diagnoses.

What's the book you bought?

 

[ciabatta]

im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us.
The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
Good luck xx

We were TTC for 3 yrs, hubby had slow swimmers so did vitamins, plus i had huge ovarian cycsts so had them removed, then had acupunture and BFP 2 mnths later, she also supported the pregnancy with continued acupunture for 4 mnths which was great for the support through the 12 weeks especially as had high risk of miscarriage. Would highly recommend acupuncture - sending huge baby dust to all I vividly remember those monthly bouts of grief which is why I still sometimes feel more at home on TTC pages than the usual preg forums where everyone moans about every little thing to do with pregnancy !! PS this pregnancy hasnt been plain sailing either am on my 6th week of bedrest with 4 more to go and have had majot issues all the way through, but I am so grateful and wanna yell at some people I know doing nothing but moan how they DON´T KNOW HOW LUCKY they sodding well are!!! Try 36 mnthly disappointments after days of day counting and praying and weeing on sticks and legs in the air and endless pills and hospital appointments and waiting lists and operations and blah blah blah and you would grin and bear all this the ungrateful cows - serioudly the endless whining on the other forums defies belief at times!!.

Ok anyway, sorry to jump in but wanted to spread baby dust and well wishes, also especially if the pregnant woman is older, you don´t know her story so why not just think she struggled to conceive and this is her miracle baby and imagine thats you a year down the line! Maybe that way you could turn it into a bit more positive as honestly not everyone baby danced once and wham!! Especially older ladies thats what i tried to do to make it a bit more bearable (honestly not sure how much it helped some months but am a total trying to find a silver lining person or I know i sink into a pit of despair, there´s little inbetween with my emotions and the despair just ain´t pretty so that was how I tried to cope a little). Hope I haven´t stepped on any toes, I still feel more comfortable onTTC @35+ than anywhere else! hugs and baby dust xx

 

[Ruth2307]

im 44 and had my last daughter at age 27 so nearly 20 years ago and have been trying for another baby with new hubby now ofr 3 years, had 5 early m/c's and have now been having acupuncture and taking agnus cactus this cycle to see if it helps , so far i notice a difference in myself and the acupuncturist says its looking promising so she will continue to get my progesterone levels ups as this was my problem. My progesterone kept dropping after i got pregnant and then couldnt sustain it so shed the pregnancy, so hopefully with her help it will work for us.
The success rate of acupuncture is around 85% for all unexplained infertility , i would recommend it as so many others have.
Good luck xx

We were TTC for 3 yrs, hubby had slow swimmers so did vitamins, plus i had huge ovarian cycsts so had them removed, then had acupunture and BFP 2 mnths later, she also supported the pregnancy with continued acupunture for 4 mnths which was great for the support through the 12 weeks especially as had high risk of miscarriage. Would highly recommend acupuncture - sending huge baby dust to all I vividly remember those monthly bouts of grief which is why I still sometimes feel more at home on TTC pages than the usual preg forums where everyone moans about every little thing to do with pregnancy !! PS this pregnancy hasnt been plain sailing either am on my 6th week of bedrest with 4 more to go and have had majot issues all the way through, but I am so grateful and wanna yell at some people I know doing nothing but moan how they DON´T KNOW HOW LUCKY they sodding well are!!! Try 36 mnthly disappointments after days of day counting and praying and weeing on sticks and legs in the air and endless pills and hospital appointments and waiting lists and operations and blah blah blah and you would grin and bear all this the ungrateful cows - serioudly the endless whining on the other forums defies belief at times!!.

Ok anyway, sorry to jump in but wanted to spread baby dust and well wishes, also especially if the pregnant woman is older, you don´t know her story so why not just think she struggled to conceive and this is her miracle baby and imagine thats you a year down the line! Maybe that way you could turn it into a bit more positive as honestly not everyone baby danced once and wham!! Especially older ladies thats what i tried to do to make it a bit more bearable (honestly not sure how much it helped some months but am a total trying to find a silver lining person or I know i sink into a pit of despair, there´s little inbetween with my emotions and the despair just ain´t pretty so that was how I tried to cope a little). Hope I haven´t stepped on any toes, I still feel more comfortable onTTC @35+ than anywhere else! hugs and baby dust xx

Hola Ciabatta (Slipped back into Spanish -I lived in Valencia in another life!)

Thanks for your post. What you said makes sense although it is very,very difficult sometimes.

In other news, today I was selected by the company that makes ClearBlue Fertility Monitor to partipate in some trials. It's a bit of a result because I was about to purchase a monitor and I've been given one for free along with all the other accessories. Hopefully I won't need it because this may well be my month but if not then at least it will help to pinpoint the right time to BD.

The office where I was shown how to use the monitor was covered in baby pictures from women who have been used in previous studies and strangely today I was fine; usually it's enough to set me blubbing. Guess it's the hopeful part of my cycle so it didn't upset me.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
xxxx