How do you deal with the "monsters under the bed" phase?

[Sarah lo]

Olivia has been refusing to go to bed for a few weeks now because she says there are dragons in her bedroom. I've been staying with her until she falls asleep every night but as soon as she wakes in the night she's straight through into our bed. I've tried a whole manner of different approaches and nothing seems to help.

I think most kids go through this phase but how do you deal with it? I feel like we're making it worse at the moment.

 

[Marie000]

Might sound silly but... have you tried Dragon repellant spray? Just put some dragon stickers on a spray bottle filled with water and get your kid to spray all around her bedroom. Then leave the bottle for those middle of the night attacks. I've always been told that imaginary weapons work against imaginary monsters. We haven't gotten to that phase yet, so I don't have direct experience, but it seems to make sense. It might be worth a try. You will probably have to also explain to your lo that she is a big girl and needs to sleep on her own (and learn to defend herself)

 

[caitlyn2009]

My daughter hasn't gone through this stage yet, but we will use the "monster spray" idea. Let the child decorate the bottle and then spray around where she feels the monsters are.

 

[seoj]

I was going to suggest the monster spray too... otherwise, it seems you are doing all you can. I think it's a normal phase most kids go through. Wish I had better advise. Just keep encouraging her to sleep in her room- be there when she needs you- and hope in time she'll move past this...

 

[Sarah lo]

We already tried dusting her whole room with "dragon powder" (talc) last week and it made no difference. She loved the idea and we made a big deal of doing it, but as soon as bed time came around she was right back to being scared.

Sometimes she tells me that she's scared of random stuff in her room like the curtains or her light shade, but no sooner have I removed the offending item, she tells me she's scared of something else. It's almost as though she can't explain what she's scared of so she's telling me random stuff just for the sake of being able to tell me what she's scared of.

Other things we've tried:

Getting into bed with her - she wakes up and screams when I have to leave her to go see to the baby in the night.

Letting her sleep in our bed - she's happy but there's not enough room in our bed and DH and I end up sore in the morning

Bribery - doesn't work at all, she tells me she doesn't want whatever I'm trying to bribe her with and then asks for it the next day.

Threats - DH is the one who likes to use this tactic, it doesn't work at all and she just gets really upset.

Repeatedly putting her back in her bed, like on super nanny - she just gets Histerical

Giving her a special teddy to take to bed with her who will look after her - she takes it to bed with her and then brings it with her into our bed.

Telling the dragons to go away - she regularly asks me to shoo them away but it doesn't stop her being scared.

I feel like we've tried everything

 

[MiniKiwi]

Ohh poor babe My DD has just started getting scared of things too but not imaginary things, so it's a little easier to deal with.

What about encouraging a relationship with the dragons? Telling her they're not harmful/we need to look after them? Read them a night time story? Telling her you've asked them to move out and they have moved to a house down the road where there's a little boy who loves dragons? How about rearranging her bedroom and going shopping for a new bed spread? Changing things up a little. She probably has a nightlight already? A bed low to the ground? Nowhere for dragons to hide? A book about friendly dragons? A mattress on your bedroom floor so she doesn't disturb your sleep too much? When my daughter gets a big fright or is afraid, I hold her really close and repeat to her ''You're safe, I'm here, I'll always be here for you, you're safe etc.'' It calms her quickly.

Just a few ideas off the top of my head. I think you're right in that she's just not able to articulate exactly what it is she's feeling, it's likely just a fear of being alone or feeling vulnerable/anxious/unsafe. Shouting and threatening are the opposite of what should be done to make her feel secure (I know that this is not your way of dealing with things but your hubby's), my dad often reacted this way to my brother's childhood anxiety and I truly believe it messed him up for life, he still suffers from extreme anxiety. She will grow out of this, for now I think the best thing is to be close to her when she needs you

 

[MrsPoodle]

Callie will sometimes come into our bedroom in the night and say there's monsters in her bedroom. I just chase them away and she'll happily go back to sleep. I don't make a big deal out of it, but she doesn't refuse to go to bed, so our situation is probably a bit different!

I like MiniKiwi's ideas though, some of those might work.

 

[happysaurus]

.

 

[Sarah lo]

ha ha, its funny you should mention Zog, happysaurus, we've been reading it nearly every day for the past couple of weeks in the hope that it will convince her that dragons are nice. she loves the book and asks me to read it again and again but she still refuses to go to bed at night

some great suggestions, thanks girls. i've already tried quite a few of them, though. its funny, until i read everyone's replies i hadn't realised just how many things i have actually already tried

minikiwi, we're actually moving house in 2 weeks time so she will get a whole new room, it could go either way but i'm really hoping the new room might be a positive change for her. the house we're moving to has had a little girl living there so the new bedroom is already decorated all nice for her too.

last night i bunked in with her again (luckily she has a double bed!) and she slept all night long without so much as a peep out of her. I think I'm just going to keep getting into her bed and giving her lots of reassurance and see if she decides on her own at some point that she's ok. I've tried every other tactic and nothing else is working, I figure this way at least we all get some sleep!

 

[justmeinlove]

https://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/index.php/Susan_Sto_Helit
Read down to the bit about monsters. No idea if it will work but I am very fond of the idea.. Obviously not Actual weapons