How do you know?

[Tink1o5]

Ur all probably gonna say ur obviously not ready if u have to ask, but i think in my case its a different story. See i have panic disorder, but yet i want a kid but am somewhat terrified of the feeling of giving birth and contractions and stuff.. how will i ever know when im ready to have a kid. my nephew was born today and i got to hold him and it was the best feeling ever, then all i could think about was having one of my own, i felt terrible cuz HE wasnt mine u know?

ANY ADVICE GIRL? GOOD LUCK 2 ALL TRYING TO CONCEIVE

 

[Arcanegirl]

No one is completley ready.

For us, when we found out Robs sister was pregnant it got us thinking about ourselves. We had been together for a while, didnt wanna do marriage but wanted to go for the next step.
When we saw our neice at only a couple days old that decided for definate for us.

 

[Samantha675]

It is totally true that you are never really ready. On paper my husband and I could not be more ready, at least for us. Education finished - check. Over 30 - check. Good job - check. Our own home - check. blah blah blah. So we decided to start trying, and bam the stick was telling me I was pregnant. Am I ready? I have no idea, I am as ready as I possibly can be. Am I scared? Oh hell yes, this is the scariest thing I have ever done. Fear of losing the baby aside, I am worried I won't be a good mother, I won't be able to bond with my baby, I won't be able to breast feed, I won't be patient enough. blah blah blah. Seriously, this baby is going to turn our lives upside down and change us both forever, and I can not wait.

 

[dakini]

Like Samantha675 said, I don't think I'll ever be really ready. Not pg yet, but DH and I talked about it before trying and we decided that if we wait until we feel like we're completely ready it will be too late!

And Tink1o5 I suffer from depression so I feel your pain and confusion. I am worried that I'll suffer from PPD. And that scares me a lot. I'm also scared that I won't be a good mother. However, I have a great support system with my DH, our families, and my friends. When I remember that, I'm not as scared.

Talk with your SO and make sure he understands your concerns, talk to your doctor about what you can do to manage your panic disorder (any meds you can safely take and talk to him/her early so that if you have to change you can do that before trying), and be aware that if anyone says they are completely ready for their first child, they're lying! I don't believe anyone can be completely ready. And I've had parents tell me that.

 

[Tilly]

I like your way of thinking Samantha, im the other way around.. never properly started my education after school, got pregnant when I was 19, living with boyfriends parents, not enough money.. but the time was just right for us. The time will never actually be right for having a baby though, they change your lives and nothing prepares you for it, but in the best way possible. I was also worried about not making the best mummy, I felt soo judged at first. That all passes though, you can only do the best job you can..

Tink don't worry about giving birth (although I was shit scared as well), it does hurt a lot but you will get over it immediately when you are with your little one and start thinking about when you're having the next.

 

[ChefSara77]

The thought of being a mother is one of the most exciting, yet at the same time most terrifying thoughts I've ever had. But I kind of take comfort in the thought that it scares me. It means I'm prepared enough for it to know that it's scary and it won't be easy, but I want it anyway, and I'm ready to face the scariness of it so that I can experience the wonderfulness of it. Just stop and think, and really ask yourself if you are ready to care for and love another person, to raise another person, and to give yourself entirely to that person, do everything in your power to make that person happy and healthy, no matter how scary it might be, and no matter what happens. If you can answer yes to that question, then I think you are as ready as you can ever be. Everything else is tangential.

No one is EVER ready. But if you can acknowledge that and want to do it anyway, you will make it work.

 

[jchaney85]

Like everyone is saying your never ready I know some of my friends at the ages of 19 and 20 still our partying got preggo totally not ready but once that baby came along they took to the role of being the best mom they could be. I believe with the help of your friends and family then you'll be able to handle it. As long as you believe in yourselve.