How do you stop !!!

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Left wonderin, Jul 18, 2017.

  1. Left wonderin

    Left wonderin Not sure lol

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    Hi second time mum here . My first ( now 3) bf until around 7 months .. I hit a supply issue thyroid related and he went on a nursing strike and that was that ... My little pink ( now 16) months .. Never ever took a bottle and ebf .... She just loves it !!! She still will feed morning , when I get in from work at 5 , before bed 7 and then wakes at least once during the night . She varies from a quick drink to nursing for 10 mins ....

    Thing is I have no idea how to stop !!! Lol...... I have not been away from her for more than 6 hours at a time , I haven't gone out for a night ..... I've a family wedding coming up and I need to be able to go stay over night . I'm leaving her with oh but he has NEVER put her to bed and she screams if he goes to settle her a night until I come and get her ( we have half heartily tried ) but I can't stand by and here her distress .. Is there an easy way of stopping without making her sad :(
     
  2. lenorajoy

    lenorajoy Mom to a beautiful girl!

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    I wish I had some input, but I've never been there myself. I feel for you, though! I can't stand by while my baby cries, either. :cry:
     
  3. gingmg

    gingmg Well-Known Member

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    Are you interested in stopping because you are ready to be done breastfeeding? Or because you have this wedding coming up? If it's only because of the wedding, I would say just let your OH put her to bed and continue nursing when you come home. I would think at this point it's probably ok to miss those sessions and not pump in it's replacement (as long as you don't feel uncomfortable). If she doesn't have the option for you, she may take to your OH at bedtime and overnight better than if she knows you are right in the next room. She might not even wake up if she knows you aren't there.

    If you are ready to be done, maybe try taking away the overnight one first? Then move on to another one. Unfortunately, seeing as she doesn't quite feel ready it might be tough when you take one away at first, but she will adjust and will be ok.
     
  4. Left wonderin

    Left wonderin Not sure lol

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    Thanks for the replies, it's mainly just the wedding and the thoughts of her up all night screaming blue murder for oh .... Not sure I'm ready to stop just yet either lol
     
  5. gingmg

    gingmg Well-Known Member

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    I'd hate to think of my son up all night crying with my OH as well, but it might go better than you think, especially because you won't be in the other room and she will know that. On the other hand, it might be a tough night for them, but she will eventually accept his comfort even if it takes longer than any of you would like. There is no guarantee either that stopping breastfeeding is going to make it any easier for them. Even if you were to stop breastfeeding cold turkey, she still might only want comfort from you and that wouldn't put them in any better of a situation. Wean because you are ready to be done breastfeeding not because you feel like you should or because you are worried about how a night without you will go. Worse case senario, it's a bad night for both of them, but she wouldn't be crying alone, she would be in the arms of someone who loves her dearly and she will eventually accept that comfort and go to sleep. It might even be good for both and may help them both realize the special bond that they do have.

    Depending on how long you will be away, you may or may not need to pump during that time.
     
  6. misspriss

    misspriss Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, at this point going away for one night you probably can get away with not pumping, although a single hand pump might come in handy to relieve engorgement if you need it.

    I think with you not there, she may cry a bit, but will probably get over it fine. At that age, my son stayed at the in-laws and didn't nurse to sleep, which he did with us, and it was fine. He may have been a bit closer to 2 but was still a total milk monster.

    I nursed him until his 4th birthday, by that point we'd got it down to JUST nursing for bed since he was about 3, and I just told him when he was 4 we'd have to stop. And we did, easy as that.
     
  7. lenorajoy

    lenorajoy Mom to a beautiful girl!

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    You've gotten some great advice here! And I agree, it just may go more smoothly than you expect, so don't worry too much about taking a night off. I'd second taking a manual pump with you! Although our children aren't the same age or situation, this is coming from someone going through her first round of mastitis. :dohh:
     
  8. Jules8

    Jules8 Well-Known Member

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    I thought I would share my experience as it was very similar to what you described. My daughter is almost 18 months and though she still nurses once a day, it's a huge difference than just a few months back. She was nursing in the morning, when I got home from work, and then I would nurse her to sleep. The first one I cut out was the morning one. When she got up I changed her right away then would give her a snack that she really liked to get her mind off of it while I got her breakfast ready. After breakfast I gave her a fun activity like coloring or painting. I also avoided any scenario that she affiliates with nursing (sitting in the rocking chair or laying on the couch). We had no issues with that one. The next I cut out was nursing to sleep, which was a little harder. Basically I kept her busy til she looked really tired, her bedtime went from 7:30 to 8:15 until she got used to the routine. When it was time for sleep I took her up kissed and hugged her then laid her down and would not pick her back up (that was the hardest part because she would reach for me). I tried not to talk but to just shake my head no and lay her back down. She cried for a few minutes but since she was really sleepy she gave in and fell asleep while I was rubbing her back. After about 3 days she didn't cry at all and that was that. I haven't weaned her from nursing when I get home as she isn't ready and part of me isn't ready to be completely done yet.

    I can say that she always wants me when I'm available and will refuse daddy especially when she wakes up at night, but when I'm not home she's completely fine. I've had to be away overnight twice. My husband said she did cry for me when she woke up and saw him get her, but settled back down after a few minutes.
     
  9. Left wonderin

    Left wonderin Not sure lol

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    Thanks everyone :) won't lie I'm still feeling anxious about it but its great to hear when your not around they do just fine . In my head I know that... But in my heart well that's another story lol
     
  10. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member

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    I have no idea how to stop, I'm still nursing my 5 year old :haha: She does just fine when I'm not there though and doesn't even mention it, it's only when I am around that she asks. I think keeping busy is key to reducing the nursing sessions :thumbup:
     
  11. Weebles

    Weebles Well-Known Member

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    I don't really have any advice but I think there's a difference between your baby being left to cry it out all by themselves and crying while a parent perhaps futilely but lovingly tries to console them. Mommies and daddies just do things differently and she will realize it's okay if given the chance.
     
  12. happynewmom1

    happynewmom1 Well-Known Member

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    I really wish I knew! I've somehow managed to day wean our 18 month old but I can't for the life of me night wean her.
     
  13. gingmg

    gingmg Well-Known Member

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    When I night weaned my son I read the book "sally weans from night nursing" to him a million times leading up to actually weaning which I really think helped him understand that night time was for sleeping and that we could nurse again when the sun came up. When it actually came time to say no to him at nighttime, he literally just rolled over and went back to sleep, no tears, no fuss. He continued to wake up and ask for awhile, but took it amazingly well when I said no. I'm sure night weaning doesn't go as smoothly for everyone but in our case it was pretty easy. I think I read that book for a few months prior to actually doing it. Jay Gordon has a very gentle night weaning plan as well, mostly geared for cosleeping families, which we kind of moderately followed when I transitioned him from nursing to sleep to cuddling to sleep. We still nurse, but only during the day now.
     

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