How emotional are you ????

[Mrs Doddy]

Since wanting a baby badly my emotions are running really high. I am very tearful alot of the time, everything makes me cry, I find it really hard to look at babies and avoid baby shops like anything. I cry at the tv - especially anything to do with children.

I have 4 friends that are pregnant at the moment which is so hard especially one of them is one of the group I went to college with the other 2 have children now and I feel so sad

With it now under two months I am excited but scared that when it comes to it H is not going to be ready- I haven't been talking about it to him and he hasn't said that he has changed his mind but some of the things that he has said in the past really worries me that he doesn't want the responsibility or that I am going to be left doing everything myself - we do not have any family nearby to support us and friends have their own children to look after -you can't get hold of them half the time.

I can't talk to him about it at the moment because he will think that I am nagging him and would cry my eyes out. I will have to before Feb just to be sure before I come off the pill.

He has been a little mean a few times. We were at our friends a while ago and their toddler was asking me to take her to the potty which I did, the husband said youve got all this to look forward to and H said that oh we aren't having any. I was crushed and spend days thinking that he didn't want kids, I eventually asked him and he said he was joking wtf ??? And when we were on holiday a few weeks ago I said about it might not happen straight away because of body adjusting to not being on the pill and he said come off it now then - then he said he was joking. H is the most loving and caring person I have ever met and being nasty is not like him, we rarly argue and I don't understand why he is being like this.

I feel like an emotional wreck, Is anyone else like this ????

 

[fairy1984]

hey,

as an outside observation perhaps he's reacting like this with insensitive jokes (and i dont know a man that doesnt make insensitive jokes without meanign to at times) because of him feeling nervous and anxious but excited about trying for a baby and this is his man way of showing it?

you're feeling emotional and itsc oming out withe feeling teary and his way might be jokes? I'm not trying to defend him but my bloke is also a lovely guy and he too has made a few comments which i've considered insensitive while we're waiting and i'm sure it wasnt to hurt me but just him trying to make light of a serious situation.

I think having a good chat with him would be a good idea but perhaps when you're feeling not too teary?

 

[lauraloo24]

I too have been a bit of an emotional wreck lately.... the other day I was on the net having a mooch on youtube & came across some memorial videos to babies who'd died before birth & shortly after... I cried myself to sleep!!! OH asked me what was wrong & i said nothing.... He knows im emotional so tends to ignore me. i just got to thinking what if when we start TTC we can't, or we do & then lose our baby... I kept imagining how i'd feel & i don't think i could even get close. a friend of mine lost her first baby at 39 weeks & I didnt think that happened that often? She has gone on to have two healthy children, so thats good!

As for OH's saying insensitive things, mine does too and i dont think they realise how much of an effect it has on us. My OH has also said that when the baby comes along I'll be doing all the work (i realise i will be doing most of it as he will be working full time) but I just know that when baby does arrive he wont be able to stop himself from getting involved. He will start feeling left out if he isnt involved. He also said newborn babies are boring!! i try not to take it seriously tbh, main thing is that hes said we can have children & when time comes to start TTC we'll be a bit further down the line & his opinions may have changed a little.

Mrs doddy you say that your OH is very loving & caring so i dont think he'd ever do anything to deliberately upset you.He knows that you really want children and how much it means to you. I think guys get very insecure about their partners having children, they have worries - perhaps financial, maybe they think their partner is going to get huge, stop caring about her appearance, stop wanting to have sex & stop paying them any attention etc etc. Some might see this baby to be as a threat!! Yours is probably worried he wont be able to do his biking anymore - when you feel a bit more positive about things have a chat with him & try to make him see that having a baby doesnt necessarily mean he has to stop doing all the things he likes.

Good luck!xx

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Thanks girls, I know I am being irrational and insensitive and oversentive but I can't help it, I have tried to pull myself out of this mood but I can't - I actually broke down in tears this afternoon in from of my reigional director - I can't help it - what do I do ???

 

[lauraloo24]

Aww

Sounds like you need a good night out to try & forget about everything for a while - remember you are still scheduled to TTC in less than 2 months, so lots to look forward to!