How long before you will allow visitors?

[redneckhippy]

I've decided that I don't want anyone but my husband to to be there during my labor. I think I would also like about 1 hour after the baby is born before I allow anyone to visit (grandparents first, then extended family only after we are back home). I know this is going to ruffle some feathers in the family (I'm pretty sure my in-laws are expecting to be in the room for the birth), but after all I've gone through to get and stay pregnant, I've just decided it's my birth experience and asking for 1 hour to bond as a new family and establish breast feeding is not unreasonable. I always worry about offending others, but then I'm just thinking like, why should my birth experience be lessened. Either they will be upset or I will be, but I am the one giving birth, so I'm going to be selfish for once.

Just wondering what others are doing and how long you will wait until you let other family come visit?

 

[Mummy to be x]

During labour and birth it will just be me and my partner. But once he's born we will be asking MIL to bring my daughter straight to the hospital to meet her brother. So I guess we will have a couple of visitors rights away.

 

[Ashersmomma]

My parents will be there in the waiting room during my c-section. They are watching DS for us, and the hospital is 45 minutes from home. I want DS to meet his sister immediately. My parents are very good about giving me plenty of space to bond. They did so with DS as well. I will start allowing family after an hour, and the rest are free to come after my parents take DS home. I don't have anyone that really intrudes or over stays their welcome. When I had DS, they really came pretty well spaced apart and none stayed more than 20 minutes or so, besides close family.

 

[HelenJane]

Take as long as you want! Nobody should get upset its your important day

 

[troxxy]

During labour and birth it is only my mother and stepmother with me, FOB will be in the waiting room and him and his family will be kept away until I feel ready to have them come in and meet baby. My family will kind of be playing it by ear, I've asked for as much alone time with baby as possible though

 

[mammag]

I never allowed them. I know from past babies that you really need that hospital time to rest and bond with baby. You're going to be so tired, and visitor after visitor makes that 10 times worse. So no visitors for us til after we were home and settled in.

 

[bounceyboo]

ive made it crystal clear to family and friends and esp his parents that no one is allowed come near us until our son has had some time to meet the baby first and if you come before that well, I wont let you in to see the baby, im the one pregnant, going to have major surgery, need time to recover and I want some family time with our two boys, its not much to ask and if they think it is I don't care lol!they have waited this long the can wit another day he is after all coming a week early!

 

[RaspberryMini]

ive made it crystal clear to family and friends and esp his parents that no one is allowed come near us until our son has had some time to meet the baby first and if you come before that well, I wont let you in to see the baby, im the one pregnant, going to have major surgery, need time to recover and I want some family time with our two boys, its not much to ask and if they think it is I don't care lol!they have waited this long the can wit another day he is after all coming a week early!

This is what we are doing. No one at the hospital except DH & DS, then I want a couple of days at home just the four of us before we have any visitors, including grandparents. I want DS to feel secure at home with his new sister without feeling overwhelmed.

When I had DS there were 5 people waiting at home for me, took him off me and passed him round like a parcel, and I had to tell them to go home. I wanted alone time. I am not having that happen again! A baby is still new even after a week or so.

 

[LisaL79]

Well since I'm getting a repeat c-sec.... I won't mind if people show up right away. Mostly b/c MiL will have DD and I want DD to be able to visit with us and see her brother.
Now if I was trying for a VBAC... I wouldn't want anyone to visit while I was in labor.

 

[MollyNorwood]

I will have DH and my mum in the birth suite with me, but then mum will give us some space afterwards. We have already told everyone else it will be just us while they allow me to rest up in the birth suite, once I am moved into the shared room and I have rested up then I will be fine with visitors. Its all a personal choice really so whatever you are comfortable with should be respected by everyone

 

[Alyssa Drough]

Some hospitals won't allow visitors until you're on the post natal ward, which can be a couple of hours after birth anyway. You'll want time to bond but you'll have to be checked over, you might want to give baby his/her first feed and you might want to have a shower. Take your time and don't feel pressured to accept visitors until you're ready.

 

[StranjeGirl]

This is so good you are thinking about this ahead of time. I didn't for my first and it turned into to hassle. My hospital was far from everyone. My parents came down and were in the room for labour, but only my mom and husband for delivery. THat part was fine and my parents left as soon as the baby was born. The problem was that right after they left, which was supposed ot be our bonding time with the baby (hospital actually requires that everyone but parents are gone right after the birth) dh's dad and step mom showed up and had a long drive to get there. I had a nurse tell them they had to wait because I was learning how to breastfeed, but the nurse just said we wanted alone time and I think they got offended that they had driven all that way and then had to wait. They didn't say anything but I brought up later that it was due to breastfeeding and they made of the comment of "oh that makes sense how...the nurse just said..." ANyway, I was annoyed that people would expect to come in right after birth. I think it is perfectly fine to want alone time and honestly, it's quite a big deal to push a baby out or go through a major surgery. I wasn't too keen on seeing anyone right after who I wasn't 100% comfortable with. It's nice to have a little time to bond and clean yourself up before people start coming in. This time my parents will be taking care of dd, and will come when I tell them to, and I am not having anyone else come to the hospital until I feel ready, or maybe even when we are back at home. I figure it is my pregnancy and i am making the rules! If you are worried about offending, just tell them that you meet with the lactation consultant right after birth so it will take about an hour - and you will let people know when you are done and ready for visitors!

 

[bounceyboo]

ive made it crystal clear to family and friends and esp his parents that no one is allowed come near us until our son has had some time to meet the baby first and if you come before that well, I wont let you in to see the baby, im the one pregnant, going to have major surgery, need time to recover and I want some family time with our two boys, its not much to ask and if they think it is I don't care lol!they have waited this long the can wit another day he is after all coming a week early!

This is what we are doing. No one at the hospital except DH & DS, then I want a couple of days at home just the four of us before we have any visitors, including grandparents. I want DS to feel secure at home with his new sister without feeling overwhelmed.

When I had DS there were 5 people waiting at home for me, took him off me and passed him round like a parcel, and I had to tell them to go home. I wanted alone time. I am not having that happen again! A baby is still new even after a week or so.

you are right too did you tell the family and friends yet? we wont know exactly what date and time we are going to have him yet but if its mid morning ds will probably be with his aunt across town dh will pick him up after and hr r two when im out of recovery and bring him over to us to spend some alone time, visiting hrs here are 1.30-3.30pm and 6.30-8.30pm, im hoping people will stay away until the next day when im able to face visitors and had some alone time with the baby too.ive a feeling people will show up at 6.30 though :/ all I want is some time to spend with my ds and my new baby after that I don't care if you come and don't stay long and don't touch my new baby with your disgusting smoky hands(oh parents)

 

[sethsmummy]

Nobody is allowed to visit until dh and the boys have been in to meet baby. My sister will be my birth partner so she'll meet him. If my husband can't for some reason get into the hospital then nobody will be allowed in at all. And I have a blanket ban on visitors for the first few days home as that's mine and my children's time together with the new baby. Plus with midwife coming and going and having had major surgery I'm not adding on the worry of having to cater to people and make sure everything is neat and tidy

If dh brings the boys in then my parents will be allowed in that night or the following night. In laws are coming up end of January. Actually just had an argument with dh over them last night as he was telling them it's fine for them to come up my 2nd day home from hospital (4 days post surgery) and I wasn't having that at all as they stay all weekend!!

No friends will be allowed until my second weekend home. Oh and were also not announcing the birth until I'm out of hospital to avoid any unwanted hospital visitors. Parents will find out once my dh and boys have met baby xx

 

[RaspberryMini]

ive made it crystal clear to family and friends and esp his parents that no one is allowed come near us until our son has had some time to meet the baby first and if you come before that well, I wont let you in to see the baby, im the one pregnant, going to have major surgery, need time to recover and I want some family time with our two boys, its not much to ask and if they think it is I don't care lol!they have waited this long the can wit another day he is after all coming a week early!

This is what we are doing. No one at the hospital except DH & DS, then I want a couple of days at home just the four of us before we have any visitors, including grandparents. I want DS to feel secure at home with his new sister without feeling overwhelmed.

When I had DS there were 5 people waiting at home for me, took him off me and passed him round like a parcel, and I had to tell them to go home. I wanted alone time. I am not having that happen again! A baby is still new even after a week or so.

you are right too did you tell the family and friends yet? we wont know exactly what date and time we are going to have him yet but if its mid morning ds will probably be with his aunt across town dh will pick him up after and hr r two when im out of recovery and bring him over to us to spend some alone time, visiting hrs here are 1.30-3.30pm and 6.30-8.30pm, im hoping people will stay away until the next day when im able to face visitors and had some alone time with the baby too.ive a feeling people will show up at 6.30 though :/ all I want is some time to spend with my ds and my new baby after that I don't care if you come and don't stay long and don't touch my new baby with your disgusting smoky hands(oh parents)

Yep we've told people and had comments about being disappointed and how we'll upset people if we leave it too long (my Dad) I'm talking like 3-4 days probably! But I'm sticking to my guns! MIL will have DS when we go in and DH will pick him up and bring him to the hospital to see us.

I don't intend to upset people but it's my family I think I need to do what feels right for us

 

[RainbowBaby13]

during labor I only want my parents grandparents and siblings. but after the baby is born I want a couple hours or so with just me and the baby before I allow the rest of my family to come

 

[petitpas]

To be honest, I would plan more than just one hour after the birth before accepting visitors. Breastfeeding isn't always straightforward and you'll want to clean up and rest, too, not to mention stare at your baby in wonder for hours on end. I wouldn't plan any visitors for the first 24h except for siblings and whoever is looking after them. If you find that you feel like calling people in earlier then that's a bonus for them. It is easier and nicer to call people in last minute rather than cancel their planned visit because you aren't feeling ready.

After my parents met ds at the hospital we had a sort of open afternoon the first weekend home where we invited everyone over to meet him. It was only for a couple of hours. Then they were satisfied and left us alone for the next couple of weeks

Don't feel like you are selfish. You are being sensible and practical. As a pp mentioned, a baby is still new after a week!

 

[wifey2013]

My husband will be the only person with me during delivery. My parents and his are allowed to be there during labor mostly in the waiting room or when we need something, and the only ones allowed in at the beginning. After about 2 hours for them to meet the baby and for us to establish breast feeding we will inform our family first and then our friends.

 

[KrissyKris22]

During the labor and delivery it's jus gonna be me and my oh. But when I have the baby I'm gonna have someone bring my other ds up there depending on the time. I feel where ure coming from because I want to bond with the baby before everyone is breathing on him lol.

 

[chelsealynnb]

DH is going to be the only person there for delivery. We're going to have a family member watch our kids (not sure who yet though, lol). My issue is that DH's family members are extremely unthoughtful when it comes to this kind of stuff - they wouldn't even think to ask if it was okay to visit, they would just show up. That's what they've done with my other two. Not sure how to tell them to wait until we say it's okay? I don't even want anyone to know when I'm in labor or having the baby so then they won't know to show up, only problem with that is someone from DH's family has to watch the kids so the news will spread like wildfire (I don't have any family close by). I think I'll just tell DH to text them that we will let them know when to visit because I want to work on breastfeeding and resting/bonding first. And at our hospital, they have locked doors to the maternity ward and they will only buzz a visitor in if you let the front know you're accepting visitors soooo, they can just be locked out if they don't ask first! Lol