How Our Children Turn Out As Adults - Nature Or Nurture?

[jakey1]

So we can't just argue that 2 or more children were raised in the same household and turned out different, therefore it's all down to nature. Here's what I mean. My first son was born with a very fiery little personality which affected the way I raised him. I had to be more firm with him because he was so strong-willed.

That's very true. I have twins and found the whole twin discussion really interesting. They have completely different personalities in that my son is a real live-wire and is always up to mischief whereas his sister, despite having her moments, is pretty laid back and loves to sit and look at her books. This difference in their personality traits has been evident from the day they were born, and so I would have to say that nature plays a big part in that. Therefore looking at it from the nurture aspect, as much as I always set out to treat them equally, ultimately I have to be more stern with DS. This is the only way I can get him to listen to me, which makes me wonder how will this difference in interraction shape his personality as he grows up?

 

[Chasley]

From my families experience I would say that nature is dominate over nurture, however they both play a part. I have two adopted brothers. They were adopted at birth and after 29 years my brother reunited with his biological mother.

It is amazing to see how much a like they are. Not only in mannerisms but in the way they think and view life. My brother has always been very different from the rest of the family. Outgoing, quite larger than life and the first time I met his birth mother she was the same. So for me that points towards Nature.

 

[Lightworker]

Two middle aged brothers who had grown up with an abusive alcoholic father were once interviewed (seperately) about their childhood and how their lives had turned out. When asked "why do you think your life turned out this way?" they both replied "look at the kind of father I had." Brother A was a convict in prison for various assaults and Brother B was a loving husband and father with a good job etc. This is why I struggle with the nurture element.

 

[SKATERBUN]

I cant see how genes can be held responsible, at the end of the day its actions of the parent and society that determines how we become an adult, not biological make up, so nuture all the way

 

[louise1302]

my eldest son has barely spent any time with his father yet he is a carbon copy of him, not only in mannerisms and things he does but similar in attitude to life and thinking it owes him something

he didnt see him at all until he was 8 and up til 6 weeks ago only saw him once or twice a year

 

[Gemz01]

I think it is nurture to start off with then other factors come into play such as people they mix with, the area you live in & Schooling etc to name a few.

There is only so much a parent can instil into their child (discipline & morals) and then other situations encourages and shape behaviour/attitude etc.

 

[leoniebabey]

i think in my case i was brought up by my nana and i was brought up to be very polite/manors and thats stayed with me all the time
however when i hit comp age i mixed with the 'bad kids' and I started to pick up on bad habits for them which i still have so i think how you turn out depends on your family, friends, teachers anyone who has an impression on you not just at an early age but even at a teenage age

 

[Nibblenic]

I think its mainly nature and partly nurture. Before I had children I really thought it was nearly all nuture. But my Lo has some traits and mannerisms that are very much my Grandmother. Now I always though I was like her because I spent a lot of time with her when I was young. But sadly my Lo has never met her but they are very similar.

Which im now starting to think is genetics rather than nurute as I had pesumed.

 

[annawrigley]

Definitely both but I lean more towards nurture. Although FOB is just like his dad (who he hasnt seen since he was 2... we both met him when FOB was like 17 which is how i know lol) Also I've heard from FOB's mum what he's like and its worrying how similar they are, even more so that I dont want Noah turning out like that despite my best efforts :/

My 2 brothers are really similar to each other and I'm not really anything like them. One is older and one is younger and yep I was struck by middle child syndrome lol with a spot of random rebellion, I had always been the "good" kid all my life, my big brother was the "naughty" one (how I saw him not what my parents labelled him, he has AS and I just thought he was horrible), and my little brother was the baby. When I got to be like 14 I must have just decided (subconsciously) that I was sick of being good and rebelled to the extreme. I calmed down once I turned 16 but then I met FOB and got pregnant lol. But that wasnt a rebellion, that was just him brainwashing me And on the subject of him, he has completely changed who I am as a person! As I said I was 16 when I met him so I definitely believe your personality can be changed later on as well.

 

[PeanutBean]

Absolutely both, no doubt about it. I'm a biologist (and to some extent have training in genetics too) but I think it would be naive to think that nurture has no effect at all. It's like the 'can people be born evil?' debate (the answer being no!). Don't forget though that nurture is more than parenting. To me nurture is the whole environment experienced by an individual which includes parenting, social mores, exposure to a chemical environment, life experiences. All these things shape a person but I am certain that two different people experiencing the exact same things would still be different because of their genetic makeup. Genes respond to the environment; they are not a fixed thing we are born with that cannot change, there is feedback between genetics and the environment.

The same goes for identical twins. We use them in twin studies because they are pretty similar genetically but they are not 100% the same. There are mutations that occur throughout life from the moment of conception and these will not be the same in each individual twin.

I also think there is no same parenting. Every parent with any self awareness will know that they treat children differently. Sometimes it's in response to differences in the child, sometimes it's in response to experience and lessons learned with older children. Sadly sometimes it's because of weird prejudices parents have such as against one sex or the other which definitely still happens. And on the gender issue, there are MANY differences in parenting within the same family because of gender stereotyping and these have nothing to do with genes! lol

It's hugely complex and I think to assume one or the other is simply ignorant and naive. It's too often used as an excuse - working class people cannot 'better themselves' because they don't have the capacity, only the aristocracy is born with the capability to be clever (wrong!); that child killer must have been born evil because no parent could raise their child to behave that way (wrong!) etc.

 

[tallybee]

Ooooh I watched a really interesting programme on twin studies on this exact topic a while ago. It's incredibly fascinating! Nature and nurture both play their part... very intricately entwined.

Peanut Bean, you've put it way better than I could

I'm incorporating some biology and genetics into my degree and it's fantastic stuff! All my essays have to be severely chopped to fit into word limits