How Strange is This?

[JayceAnona]

Okay, so I posted my story a few days ago in the single parents introductions thread about the mess that the FOB and I have gone through...

So a couple of days ago we started speaking again (it was like intervention-style with my mom and friends lol)...and we decided to try and be friends again and co-parent.

Anyway, we were talking on the phone and he had a bit of an odd request...he asked if it would be okay for him to stay at my house overnights with the baby sometimes. I can understand asking to take the baby to his house overnight but asking to stay over my house? I think his intentions are good and he wants to be there with the baby as much as possible, but yeah...

It's not going to happen (we both still live at home) and I thought it was kind of strange....

How does that sound, in your opinion?

 

[CaliGirl35]

Maybe he asked that because most new moms are not going to let a new baby have a sleep over...so maybe he is thinking when the baby is born there is no way you would let him do that.. so as a way of being able to be there with baby... he is asking to stay over at your house so he would have a better chance of you being ok with that?

 

[JayceAnona]

Maybe he asked that because most new moms are not going to let a new baby have a sleep over...so maybe he is thinking when the baby is born there is no way you would let him do that.. so as a way of being able to be there with baby... he is asking to stay over at your house so he would have a better chance of you being ok with that?

I mean the overnight thing either way probably won't happen for the first few months, but it just seems more "normal" that a father would ask to take his child to his house instead of coming over to the mother's house...?

I don't know. I get his logic behind it but where would he sleep even if that were to happen? LOL

 

[CaliGirl35]

LOL--- On the floor in the living room! with one thin blanket and lumpy pillow?

 

[purpledahlia]

Yep, On the floor!

 

[Mommi2Be]

My FOB wants the same thing. I told him that once I have the baby, I figure I'll stay over at my parents for awhile, as my mom's been really supportive and would definitely help out. He then said no, he wants to be there to help and would want to just stay with me for a week or however long. Um, no. We're not together. I don't want you staying with me!

 

[lou_w34]

Sounds like a much better option then him asking to take the baby away to his house with him. I mean, the idea of FOB staying at my house does not fill me with joy lol, but the idea of him taking LO away from me scares me far more than him staying at mine! We dont see him, but if he wanted to see LO overnight, i would suggest him staying at mine rather than him taking LO away from me.

It is usually done that FOB will take the baby to his house, but when your baby is first born there is no way you will want to let them out of your sight, it sounds like an ok compromise to me, at least until you are ready to let the baby stay overnight, obviously if you dont want him to stay at yours, or your parents have an issue with it, then dont do it, but it sounds like the lesser of two evils to me

 

[JayceAnona]

Thanks for the input ladies...neither of us has brought it up since, but we'll see what happens once the baby is born.

And he would definitely sleep on the floor! LOL

 

[TiredNurse27]

no chance, you can't move on with your life with your ex-boyfriend expecting he can just come and kip on your floor all the time.

 

[gemabee]

i think thats a nice thing for him to have asked tbh.
he obviously wants to be a big part of his baby's life and he wants to support u... its undersandable that a (good) dad would want to be there the first days / weeks of his childs life and he understands u would not want ur lo away from u.
its not weird or strange at all, its extremely considerate, and if u want to stay friends and co-parent then this was a nice thing for him to suggest.
my friend (male) got his ex-gf pregnant (one night stand AFTER they split up), they tried to stay friends in an attempt to co-parent, he stayed at hers from her due date (she went 2 weeks over) nd stayed for 2 weeks after to help her. he would stay over once a week until their son was 4 months nd he got him for overnights at his house.
it worked really well for them, and i can see both sides because i'm a single mum nd can see ur side, but can also see the dad's side because of the situation with my best friend.
xx