How/when to tell potential employer of my pregnancy? Any and ALL advice welcome!

[MNgirl1991]

So I moved to a new state 3 months ago after I married DH. He's in the military so I'm stuck here until he gets out or reassigned. I've been job searching for the past 2 months, but since finding out we're pregnant and I'm closing in on the second trimester, I've been a nervous, stressed-out wreck over the interview process. I had one today and they scheduled me for my 2nd interview already, so I am almost 100% sure I will get this job. But I didn't tell them I am pregnant because I'm sure that's the reason I didn't get the last job I was interviewed for.
I think it's terrible that places can reject you for being pregnant, but I don't want to hide it and then spring it on them later. I'm a very honest person.
So the big question is, should I tell the manager on the 2nd interview and just be honest about it? Or should I wait till I'm hired and then tell them? I really need this job.
Thanks in advance!

 

[heather2629]

Oh man, I totally understand where you're coming from. That would be a hard decision. I believe you're in the U.S., but if I'm wrong, the following information is probably of little worth to you.

So even though I eventually went to school for filmmaking, I did at one time have the desire to be a lawyer and I remember reading up on pregnancy discrimination. I just looked it up and here's what I found, taken verbatim from the Equal Employment Opportunities Commision website:

"The Pregnancy Discrimination Act (PDA) of 1978 forbids discrimination based on pregnancy when it comes to any aspect of employment, including hiring, firing, pay, job assignments, promotions, layoff, training, fringe benefits, such as leave and health insurance, and any other term or condition of employment."

As long as your pregnancy does not keep you from doing the job you're applying for, they can't refuse to hire you because of it. If you're applying for a job that will require you to do a lot of lifting, etc, maybe they can.

That being said, just because you have legal rights doesn't mean you'll want to go through the legal mess of contacting your local government to file a claim. Doing so would only get the place you want to work in trouble, and probably would definitely seal the deal that you wouldn't be hired.

If they DID hire you and you told them after you were hired, you could file a claim then if they discriminated against you. Might be easier if you were already on board, since they couldn't fire you without getting into trouble.

In the end, it's up to you. I just wanted to throw some legal jargon at you so know you're protected. For what that's worth.

 

[MNgirl1991]

I have heard and read about the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. They have them up in most break rooms at my previous places of employment lol I'm thinking since the manager already said she loves me and sees me getting the job, there wouldn't be a good reason for her to not hire me even if I told her about being pregnant. I think I could definitely assume that it was because I'm pregnant and could potentially sue, but that's a lot of work and time and I would rather just keep looking for another job.
So I think I will wait till I am hired, and then just tell them I recently found out I'm pregnant.
I have to be on my feet all day at this job but no heavy lifting, so I'm not worried.
Just one more stress to add onto all the other stresses of pregnancy that no one tells you about lol thank you for the reply! I feel better knowing that I do have the law on my side in this.

 

[heather2629]

That's what I would do. Hope you land the job!! Good luck!

 

[MNgirl1991]

That's what I would do. Hope you land the job!! Good luck!

Thanks you!

 

[xLaura]

I've just recently found out I'm pregnant (still very early) but I've just been through interviews and got offerd the job Christmas Eve (found out 2 days later I was preg) I really don't know weather I should tell them before I send off all my checks and that or just tell them I've just found out once I've actually started.

 

[spicyorange]

No way would I tell before hand, they will just find another reason but to hire you but once your have Started they can't fire you because your pregnant. I'd hold out until you've started.

 

[Mrsgoodhart]

Yep, what spicyorange said. I'd keep it to myself. I know it may feel slightly dishonest but truly it's not any of their business until you need to go on maternity leave or if (god forbid!) complications arise. I applied for a job once when I was 4-5 months pregnant and of course got a generic rejection letter stating they chose a different candidate- I applied again some months later and was hired without an interview- but I was told I had to wait to start until after I had my baby, which makes me pretty certain the initial rejection was pregnancy related (especially since they didn't actually hire anyone between the two interviews).
I'd wait until they can't fire you for being pregnant, rather than coming up with some kind of excuse not to hire.
Good luck!

 

[MNgirl1991]

Yeah I think I'm going to wait a couple weeks after I'm hired to spring the news. I'm not showing yet so should be simple to keep on the DL for now! Thank you guys

 

[steph.]

I'm not telling. I got offered a job to start at the beginning of February. I guess my situation is a little different because I'm still so early so could lose the baby, but if I'm still pregnant when I start (i'll be about 12 weeks) I'll wait a month and then let them know.

 

[ellahopesky]

id wait til you have the job!

 

[Catiren]

definitely wait until your second tri at least to tell them! wait as long as you can if anything, but dont hide it so far as that they end up discovering you are before you tell them.

although i havent been with my job for that long, its a large company and i feel like im in a family so i had no trouble whatsoever telling everyone, even the new managers who seem quite strict. they were over the world in happiness for me and they all supported me and my boyfriend who also works there with me, and they give me extra breaks whenever i need to sit down. they also edited my work schedule so that i can have more time to rest between the lifting and get to prenatal appointments with ease. im very thankful that they accepted my pregnancy and not once have i been treated any less but i have been treated much more kindly than before!

another reason i told them practically as soon as i found out, was because i lift alot of heavy things all the time in my position and i wanted them to know of my pregnancy so that if i dont want to lift the more heavier things, they will know its because of my baby girl and not because im just being more lazy than i can be at work ha.

 

[smileyfaces]

Wait! Defo! Its illegal to discriminate but that doesnt mean that it doesnt happen.

I got a new job when I was 15 weeks with my first baby and was noticeably pregnant (bump starting to show) and kept it till myself till I had started and been there two weeks because they wouldn't be able to do anything about it then lol.

 

[tryn4]

I wouldn't tell. I'm coming off of mat leave to my existing job I've been at 4 yrs and I'm not telling. I will tell when I have to. Not even 2 weeks after would I tell. I think unless u are high risk and need extra days off then it's none of their business. I just turn in a doctors note stating I'm pregnant with an edd. The note protects you (and the law) from discrimination. My work is going to be sooooooooo pissed. I was gone almost a year lol..

 

[MNgirl1991]

I like the doctor's note idea. I'm quite small and I don't think I'll be showing noticeably for quite a while so I guess I'll just keep it to myself for the time being. Work hard and show them it will be worth keeping me around even when I go on maternity leave

 

[tryn4]

Here in Canada we actually HAVE to provide a note. Goes in your file. Yep I'm hoping my work ethic gets me through this next one although they don't have legal standing to fire me. But I don't want to give them reason to find ways.

 

[wwchix]

i'm in the same boat.

id just done my first round of clomid and then was offered a new job, better pay, better company etc, and the found out a few weeks later i am pregnant.

im just going to keep quiet until i get the date through for my 12 week scan date as in the uk you get paid time off for antenatal appts and scans so i dont wanna be losing holiday pay when i get it off paid anyway.

im just going to be honest with them at that point and hope they are ok with me xx

 

[Pregosaur]

honesty has nothing to do with telling or not telling your employer. You have a right to privacy and don't have to tell anyone until you are good and ready, plus by law discrimination is a no no anyways. I have hired people before that told me they were ttc and hoped to get pg asap. A good employer would look at the big picture- if you are perfect for the job, they would be more than willing to accommodate. Good luck and don't put all this pressure on yourself!

 

[MeaganMackenz]

I wouldn't say anything, they wouldn't hire you because you're pregnant but say they went in another direction or found someone more qualified etc. At least once you're hired their hands are a bit more tied.

I can appreciate not wanting to hire someone whose pregnant from a company stand point; you hire and train someone only to know they're leaving in 6 to 8 months and you have to do it all over again. Doesn't make the process suck any less for the pregnant person who wants or needs the job until the baby, especially if they have every intention of returning and keeping the job for years to come etc.

 

[MNgirl1991]

I wouldn't say anything, they wouldn't hire you because you're pregnant but say they went in another direction or found someone more qualified etc. At least once you're hired their hands are a bit more tied.

I can appreciate not wanting to hire someone whose pregnant from a company stand point; you hire and train someone only to know they're leaving in 6 to 8 months and you have to do it all over again. Doesn't make the process suck any less for the pregnant person who wants or needs the job until the baby, especially if they have every intention of returning and keeping the job for years to come etc.

Right, I understand why it's difficult for employers to be okay with hiring someone who is pregnant. If I didn't absolutely need to work, I would love to just be stay at home and relax till baby gets here. But my poor husband can't save money while he's paying all the bills and we do need to save for the move and baby (obviously lol) so I'm forced to find work for the time being. :/