How would you feel about this?

[katy1310]

I really don't think DH quite gets how I feel He said tonight that if she has a section, she may have to have it under general anaesthetic due to health issues, and that she doesn't want a general anaesthetic because it does something to distress the baby (not sure exactly what). I said it's a pity she doesn't think about that every time she has a cigarette, and he at least agreed on that and said he has said to her before that she really should stop. I then said I find it so hard to see someone smoking so heavily when they're pregnant because I did absolutely everything I could to ensure I had a healthy pregnancy, and poor Sophie was born at 27 weeks, so why would people do things out of choice that could be harmful to their baby, and he said "You can't compare every pregnancy to your own" I really wasn't! I just do struggle to see people choosing to do things that could harm their baby, that's all. May delete this in a little while too, I'm so scared in case she sees it! I have no idea if she's on BnB or not but I really don't want to risk it. xx

 

[Stelly]

Well I missed all the deleted stuff... but from what you just wrote I wouldnt even worry about it if she did run across this thread- what youre saying isnt mean or rude. This woman has an unhealthy relianve on your spouse.

I totally understand what you mean about unhealthy people having term births... its hard! Your hisband shouldnt discredit your feelings. I get down seeing women who smoke and drink/drug use have healthy full term kids... we do everything right and our LO's came early and have to struggle. Its not fair at all- and its not wrong to feel that way!

Oh, and the main issue with general anesthesia is that the baby gets the anesthetic too ( where in a eoidural they do not) it causes decreased respiratory function when they are first born. ( my LO was born emcs under general and had side effects from anesthesia for a few days)

 

[AP]

why oh why does she think he even needs to know these details? Oh Katy I wish I could come and kick some butt, I dunno how he can just think this is ok?
Maybe you could write it down from him if you are afraid of a debate happening?

As for her ever running across this I think the same, tough luck if she red this because she's putting a woman through some unnecessary misery over this. Surely to god she and her OH have family and friends other than OH!