ms sunshine
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2011
- Messages
- 2,023
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i love my hubby and he is a nice guy so im not bashing, i know he is in a job he hates and he gets depression some times but refuses to go to the docs. but when we argue he uses what ever we look forward to holiday, christmas as a weapon. we argue more at the weekend as he dreads going to work so he is a total s**t sometimes. so for the last few months he is now using the "i dont want a baby card". it cuts deep. i have 1 son. I had a loss in my early 20's and a cp last year. but i watched his face light up when i got a pos hpt last yr so i know he does want it. Hes 42 and says he doesnt want to be an old dad so if it is going to happen it has to happen soon. he want to plan a holiday and i wont fly pg (i didnt o the last time i flew as i get anxiety so i imagine it wouldnt be good for a baby if i was pg). so he will try for a bit longer (no defination on how long). he wont talk about it he says its putting pressure on him, even though ive said the mans bits easy its my body thats not working. i just feel drained. i dont go on about trying i dont get down when it doesnt work i just keep all that stuff to me and i dont mind i know he hates me talking about opks. i try and keep it natural so it doesnt feel like a chore. i just dont know what to do. cant talk to him. ive told him he needs to stop using what we are looking forawrd to as a weapon its not fair, but he will probably do it again. Im getting him st johns wort, he says he will take that so im hoping it helps. we are currently still trying but i just dont know what to do to make it less pressure, as i dont out any pressure on him as it is. i just dont know how to stop him acting like this. it hurts so much when he says he doesnt want to try so im just so depressed and i struggle to snap out of it. i want to look forward to trying. i dont want my son to be an only child. he has 1 cousin with severe anxiety so she can chat like anything online but wont do anything in person she cant handle it so he doesnt interact with her at the moment (my brother and his wife said at the moment this is best while its building up), I have 2 other brothers, 1 wants to move to USA, and other is older than me with no kids so I want him to have family, and he doesnt get it. He says only childs will make friends, but lets be honest friends are not always as good as family, my family has helped me through some tough times and i want him to have that network. my husbands family have mainly passed away before he was 17 so he has spent most of his life on his own. we have always said we wanted 2 kids i feel he is breaking what we said and im 36 so im not going to be fertile for years to come. as i say right now he want to try but i feel its a step forward 2 back is there another way i should approach this? I cant talk to him about it any more already tried today and now he is upstairs