Husband after having baby

[Mrs Doddy]

I said all along to h before getting pregnant that I'm not prepared to do everything myself it's a 50/50 repsonsibility to have a baby and I personally believe that you ahold both do things, Spose that's why now I'm a little fraut as it's not happening, while h may go out and earn the money, I'm still getting paid maternity, cb and ctc so I have sone money too and will be going back to work full time next year, don't get me wrong he does help but not as much as I would like, perphaps I just need more time to adjust to my new role !!!

 

[beatnick]

as zakk is getting easier i get less upsett about it. trouble is he just DOESNT get it. ever! i would love to switch places for a week and see how he gets on!

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Lol can you imagine !! Actually I think h would probably do ok and would appreciate things more at the end , ha ha let's go on strike !

 

[Serenity81]

Well, this is what seems to be happening more frequently with us now; only I can comfort her or get her to sleep and she cries on the occasions he does take her or pick her up. She will quite happily smile at me, gurgle at me but when it comes to her daddy she just cries He keeps saying it's because I breastfeed her and that is why she only wants me but I think it's more than that as other breastfed babies I know are quite happy to also be with their daddies. Maybe the chores in the house shouldn't be 50/50 where the daddy is out making the money but I do think that raising a child should be a 50/50 effort and I want her to have a close relationship with her daddy aswell as me. I also think he seems to forget that having children IS a full time job, it's not like I'm sat at home all day doing nothing xx

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Well, this is what seems to be happening more frequently with us now; only I can comfort her or get her to sleep and she cries on the occasions he does take her or pick her up. She will quite happily smile at me, gurgle at me but when it comes to her daddy she just cries He keeps saying it's because I breastfeed her and that is why she only wants me but I think it's more than that as other breastfed babies I know are quite happy to also be with their daddies. Maybe the chores in the house shouldn't be 50/50 where the daddy is out making the money but I do think that raising a child should be a 50/50 effort and I want her to have a close relationship with her daddy aswell as me. I also think he seems to forget that having children IS a full time job, it's not like I'm sat at home all day doing nothing xx

I agree- I'm happy to do the housework, shopping ect I actually am starting to enjoy that lol it's the help with lo that's the issue, she has such issues with feeding I get stressed and need a break by the evening

to op sorry seem to have gone off topic and hyjacjed your thread oops

 

[Serenity81]

Well, this is what seems to be happening more frequently with us now; only I can comfort her or get her to sleep and she cries on the occasions he does take her or pick her up. She will quite happily smile at me, gurgle at me but when it comes to her daddy she just cries He keeps saying it's because I breastfeed her and that is why she only wants me but I think it's more than that as other breastfed babies I know are quite happy to also be with their daddies. Maybe the chores in the house shouldn't be 50/50 where the daddy is out making the money but I do think that raising a child should be a 50/50 effort and I want her to have a close relationship with her daddy aswell as me. I also think he seems to forget that having children IS a full time job, it's not like I'm sat at home all day doing nothing xx

I agree- I'm happy to do the housework, shopping ect I actually am starting to enjoy that lol it's the help with lo that's the issue, she has such issues with feeding I get stressed and need a break by the evening

to op sorry seem to have gone off topic and hyjacjed your thread oops

Yeah exactly, I would be more than happy to do all the other stuff while he was spending quality time with his daughter but he just expects me to do absolutely everything and with a cute little bundle who wants carried around 24/7 that just isn't always possible. I don't get anytime to myself at all, I even have to have a shower with her in the bathroom. She sits in her bouncy chair.
I love the idea of swopping roles for a week, I guarantee my OH wouldn't get past the first day!!

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I think it's amazing how us moms are the caretakers and the dads "help out". As if they are doing us a favor. It's not like we can choose to sleep in. It just defaults to us being the ones to always do most everything. I can't for the life of me figure out how I'm supposed to take care of Bubs and do housework and take care of myself at the same time. If dad takes him while I vacuum it's like he's done me a favor. Oh it drives me mad!

 

[Serenity81]

I think it's amazing how us moms are the caretakers and the dads "help out". As if they are doing us a favor. It's not like we can choose to sleep in. It just defaults to us being the ones to always do most everything. I can't for the life of me figure out how I'm supposed to take care of Bubs and do housework and take care of myself at the same time. If dad takes him while I vacuum it's like he's done me a favor. Oh it drives me mad!

I know, it certainly seems to be implied that we are supposed to be thankful for them "helping out" and all the while I am thinking I'm pretty sure that we went into this whole parenthood thing together and now I'm supposed to be greatful that you are helping me out with your own child! The thing that annoys me the most is when I say to him, can you take her until I go to the toilet or something and then he says yes but rolls his eyes and sighs at the same time I feel like saying errmm, hello I'm not asking you to hold a strangers baby or something it is your own daughter or it makes me feel like I'm not supposed to need the toilet or that I'm a bad mother for not taking her to the toilet with me Men....grrrr.....they make you so mad sometimes xx

 

[beatnick]

last night we decided to sleep in the nursery as zakk has a really blocked nose.

OH: dont worry i will sleep in here with you to keep you company and help if need be

me: its not about helping!!! its your baby too!

 

[babyerin]

I am starting to dread the OH's days off work as we just seem to fight the whole time.
He does help me on his days off (i get a lie in) but then after that i feel he takes over.

We never really spend much time together, most of it is spent on different sofas when not doing something with Erin. And as far as sex goes, he's never interested.

:'( actually having a little winge writing this, sorry if ive hijacked your thread, just thought i'd let you know you are definitely not alone