Husband not supportive

[threebirds]

I don't think my husband is being supportive of my breastfeeding. He was initially but now at 11 months I feel he would rather I stop. I can barely feed in front of him and no longer pump in front of him. I think he is probably struggling with sharing me with DS and our sex life is non existent, although thats also largely exhaustion. It really saddens me that he doesnt see the beauty and goodness of breastfeeding (or understand how hard and tiring it can be!)

 

[shinona]

I'm really sorry that he's not being supportive of you bf-ing now. Do you have an idea of how long you would like to continue? If so, I'd probably be discussing that with him to manage his expectations. I'm just wondering if he thought that you would have stopped by now. I'm not saying you should but maybe he needs to understand your reasons to get on board with them xx

 

[staralfur]

I think it was shortly before a year that my DH started asking when I was going to stop and seemed to be insinuating that he thought I should. I explained to him why I wanted to continue, pointed out how easy it was to calm her by nursing, that we wouldn't have to spend extra money on milk (neither of us are big milk drinkers), etc. I pointed out the WHO guidelines that suggest breastfeeding until at least 2 and then said I was planning on feeding until she was 2. He understood and having an "end date" seemed to make him feel better for whatever reason (I then went on to nurse until she was 3 ).

 

[noon_child]

Have you actually discussed your sex life? He may be assuming it is non-existent because you are choosing Mummyness over sexiness but in actuality there are other issues such as exhaustion, or simmering resentment over how much he pulls his weight, or underlying body image stuff (just putting examples out there that might not apply). He might feel OK about it if he didn't link "the breastfeeding child" to "no sex". My OH supported it because he could see what happened if he tried comforting her at night without me using boob. The scream fest wasn't worth it to him, and he had the perfect excuse to stay in bed!

 

[missk1989]

My husband wavered a bit around the time I had previously mentioned wanting stop and was asking but I just asked if it bothered him and at what point it would. He said he was happy if me and lo were. Having said that our sex life wasn't too bad although my boobs leaking every time I got aroused weren't exactly helping.

 

[wishingonastar]

I think one of his main.issues is lack of sex life...they take it personally and who can blame them. He likely blames breastfeeding but in reality lots of mums who don't breastfeed are too cream crackered while LO is still that young! I think you'd be at a good start in point to explain why you don't feel ready to give.up yet but equally to acknowledge he is likely feeling rejected and you will try to address this more but equally it can't be the same as before.

Also are you getting time out occasionally as a couple in the eve or is.BF keeping you home? If so I think it could do you the world of good to go out fir couple of hours for bite to eat or film or sit in pub for few hours during day or eve as I've learnt the hard way lack of adult.only time out of the home is strenuous on relationship

 

[pansorie]

I think one of his main.issues is lack of sex life...they take it personally and who can blame them.

Yeah, I can relate. If my hubs and I go a very long time I start feeling distant from him. If he would reject me (especially if it was consistent) I would feel horrible. I know sex is not everything in a relationship, but I think the importance of it is sometimes undermined.