Hypnotherapy and my birth partners...

[MidnightSun]

I am going to be a single Mum and my Mum and my sister are going to be my birth partners.

I have explained to both of them that I would like a very relaxed water birth using hypnotherapy if I can. I'll be using the Natal method, and am going to treat myself to the cds in a couple of weeks time.

My sister is verrrry sceptical as she had a horrendous labour with her first baby, what she experienced is everything I do not want to go through!

My Mum is much more open minded and understands why I want to use hypnotherapy in the birthing of my baby, and that I want soothing music, dimmed lights, peace and quiet and essential oils etc...

What I would like to know is, obviously my birthing partners need to be acting in a certain way with me when I go into labour - and I am worried, especially about my sister.

What do they need to be doing to prepare themselves for my baby's birth? I don't want to go into labour with only me knowing what my plan is

Can anyone help or perhaps offer some advice? I don't think my sister would even sit and read my Natal book if I gave it to her... for one I don't think she has the time!

 

[Bournefree]

It is really important to create a nest of postivity, security, and support around you.
You want anyone who is going to be your birth partner to be there for you 100% not distracted by their own "birth baggage". Especially important if you want the Natal Hypno to work at its best.

If you don't feel that you are getting that from your sister you need to explain it to her - this is about you and you only. You don't have to be horrible about it, just say that if she doesn't feel she can support you.. you might not ask her to be present, or if she is present and not being supportive, then you might ask her to leave.. and she shouldn't be offended if you do. (same goes for your mum really - anyone that isn't there for you, you can always ask them to leave)

There are some great books for birthing partners out there.. I know she is prob very busy with her own family, but if she really wants to be your support, she has lots of time (as you are 25weeks) to make the effort.

MM - who is a doula and a mum of 3 recommends:
“The best Birth Partner handbook IMHO is:
The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin.
ISBN-10: 1558321950”

You also might want to consider hiring a doula, but I understand that you might have financial restrictions, same as I do!
Xxx

 

[MidnightSun]

Thank you so much for your reply.

I would love to hire a doula, but as you say finances etc ... it's just not possible for me

I'll get a copy of the book, but like I say I don't think she will read it.

Whenever I speak to her about what I'd like I get raised eyebrows and 'you'll want an epidural!!' etc ... it really doesn't help matters

 

[Mervs Mum]

I 100% agree with BF. she MUST leave her own baggage at the door. This is YOUR birth so if she is to support you effectively she must remember that. Its very hard for mums and sisters to be objective about someone they love when they dont have their own issues. You need to say how important it is to you that she understands your plan and your wishes so she doesnt inadvertently sabotage them. She would be really upset with herself after if she felt she did. Tell her you want her there more than anything but you need her to believe in you in order that you can believe in yourself. Reading the natal stuff or the book above is essential for her IMHO. x

 

[Mervs Mum]

She has plenty of time. Her niece or nephew will only be born once. You will thank her for this tiny investment of her time more than any baby gift or baby sitting she could do in the future! x

 

[indigo_fairy]

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[PeanutBean]

I agree! We've just got that birth partner book. If you do plan to get it, get it soon as it's massive!

 

[Gen79]

I just wanted to say good luck to you in getting your sister on board. I, for one, have not told anyone who has given birth about my hypnobirthing plans. I figure, I'll tell people when its over. Ha, for that matter, I haven't told my mom I'm planning to homebirth either. Its not worth the negativity as far as I'm concerned.

 

[indigo_fairy]

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