I am just so sad. I miss my baby i need someone to talk too

[lch28]

I miss my Sophia so so much. And no one seems to understand. I was on the phone with my Mom five minutes ago, she asked me how I was and I started crying and told her I missed my baby. She said... "but she wasn't with you for very long" I just don't see how anyone let alone my mother could say that to me. She was inside of me for 23 weeks, and just because she was only with me for a few short hours doesn't make any difference. It doesn't mean I don't miss her, I want to bring her back to me and bring her home and watch her grow and see her smile and laugh and cry and walk and talk. It breaks my heart to pieces knowing that I will never see her again. I feel like I'm just getting worse every day, every day that gets closer to my due date I feel more of a sense of loss. I am supposed to be pregnant, I am supposed to be buying clothes and her crib, not buying a grave stone. I am supposed to be going to the Dr to hear her heart beat, not going to visit my daughter at the cemetery. I would be 32 weeks today I just can't get a hold of myself, no matter what I do I am a wreck. Maybe I am feeling so sad because I got a babytalk magazine today in the mail, and my fiancee is not home. I don't know. I am just so exhausted from all of this, I want to be normal again and I never will be. I just needed to vent, I need someone to talk too

 

[yellowyamyam]

4 months ++ now, I still miss my son and like you, I always think of the things I can't do with him. I won't lie to you; the pain ... it will always be there but over time, it gets to be manageable. For me, I am in better control of my feelings and don't cry that easily anymore.

Nobody other than us will ever understand how it feels to loose a child the way we did. My bestfriend of 14 years told me at the 2nd month after my MC that I either needed to seek professional help or just shut up and move on. This came from a mother of two. No mothers can ever imagine the death of their own child. Because they have experienced it all, they wouldn't understand that our children were babies too.

I would be 35 weeks this week but instead, I am pregnant with my 2nd child and am 10 weeks. Don't get me wrong; I am thankful that I am pregnant again so soon but perhaps I wasn't all ready for this. I still ache for my 1st and the emptiness is still there. I know it is truly unfair for my current fetus but I am doing all I can...

The ladies in this thread are amazing because we know exactly how you feel and what you are going through right now.

One day at a time!

 

[lch28]

I hope that soon i will be in better control of my feelings. I cry at the drop of a hat. Congrats on your pregnancy! Did you get pregnant first or second cycle? I am sure it is hard, and over whelming to be pregnant again. Do not feel bad for being upset and still aching for your 1st, you will be a great mommy, and I think maybe over time you will feel better about the pregnancy. You give me hope, conceiving soon, that I can too. And I am so sorry your friend said that. How insensitive people can be.. lots of hugs! I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months

 

[Andypanda6570]

Things will get better, I promise
I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and at 40 I became pregnant TOTAL accident.
Finally they told me it was a girl, you have no idea how ecstatic i was after never thinking i would ever have a girl or be pregnant at 40.
I lost my Ava at 20 weeks, I gave birth to her in my bathroom and we went to the hospital and held her, we buried Ava on 3/11/2011. It has taken me almost a year to get to some kind of normal. I was really bad for a long time, I cried so much my eyes would be swollen shut, to this day I still can't look at her sonograms But I am better now and stronger, don't get me wrong I have my days when i cry so much, but those days are a lot less now.

I promise you from my heart you will also reach this point, we all reach it just at different times. Like I said it took me almost a year. I go to her grave and now I can finally smile, I can think of Ava and smile.
No pain is greater than this and NOBODY understands NOBODY (unless they have went through it) you're feelings are totally normal and don't let anyone tell you they aren't. You will get through this, never over it but through it, I promise you.. If you ever need to talk I am here.. Andrea