I am sad.

[amgraf86]

Well ladies it's been fun but my husband pulled the plug on TTC. He said unless we got pregnant this month he is done he has decided he doesn't want to try for a baby now and he isn't sure when he will be ready. He won't even have sex with me until November because he is just done.
I cried for a good 2 hours on Tuesday night I was so upset but at this point I feel like there is nothing I can do. He tried to some how comfort me today but when you work around children's clothes all day and all you think about is a family of your own no amount of comfort will help right now.
I hope that you all finally get your blessings. I will still stalk the pages but for now my journey is on hold.

 

[Perla10022]

I'm so sorry to read that. That's a huge decision to let someone decide for you and I believe that it's grounds for divorce in every religion.
Husbands can come and go, children are forever!

I hope you're going to be alright and have someone to confide in.

Xx

 

[madetomother]

Yeeesh I don't know how a man could say that, reeks of fatigue to me. Is it that he does not want a child, or he does not want to TRY for a child. If the latter is the case, perhaps talk to him about insemination with softcups? BDing multiple times like clockwork each month can be taxing on a man's body to say the least (God bless them) so my husband and I decided to use Softcups to conceive (it worked the first month we tried them).

Im not going to warn about TMI because we're all adults here... Each morning and evening leading up to ovulation my husband simply took the cup into the restroom, deposited semen directly into the cup and I inserted it against the cervix per directions. It was so simple, neat, and easy and it preserved sex as a loving enjoyable act, not a chore.

Either way Im so sorry to hear that as I know every cell in your body wants otherwise. Good luck to you darling

 

[Realisticlady]

I'm sorry. TTC is so stressful. he's probably going to give in before November. try not to be sad because he probably just needs a little break and you two will be right back at it. Hugs

 

[pushmug7]

dont be sad hun , hes probably as upset as u are ...give it a month and have a talk and start fresh, men dont understand the ttc game at all, we suffer mfi and his reaction after the s/a was "why do u need more than 20 million ?"

 

[LittleMinx]

Oh chick i'm so sorry.. xx

 

[mummy4kids]

So sorry Hun big hugs.xxx

 

[rustyswife828]

Aww So sorry sweetie! I know that's very frustrating!

Maybe it's just your OH is tired and doesn't want to "try". Basically he's just giving up this month. Maybe take a break of TTC for a month and just focus on the two of y'all spending time together.

If he wants a baby he'll come around again...

My OH is wanting a baby so bad that he wants me to tell him when it's time

 

[amgraf86]

Thank you ladies! He told me after a couple of days he just needs a break because there is just so much going on and he didn't want to worry about that too. I understand where he was coming from but his delivery left much to be desired.
I told him that I will agree to hold off for a little while but that I really did hope this was our month.
I love my husband very much and I know having a child is very important to him so hopefully he will be ok to try again by the new year. Sadly my bff just found out she can't try again until April '14 and has suffered a chemical pregnancy so she and I will be going strong in 2014.

 

[Jrepp]

Thank you ladies! He told me after a couple of days he just needs a break because there is just so much going on and he didn't want to worry about that too. I understand where he was coming from but his delivery left much to be desired.
I told him that I will agree to hold off for a little while but that I really did hope this was our month.
I love my husband very much and I know having a child is very important to him so hopefully he will be ok to try again by the new year. Sadly my bff just found out she can't try again until April '14 and has suffered a chemical pregnancy so she and I will be going strong in 2014.

At least you guys had a discussion about where he is at. Maybe not trying is exactly what you need.....ya know letting passion take its course. I am curious as to why your friend has to wait until 2014 to try again?

 

[babyvaughan]

So sorry, my man has done that too but after the last year of being so wishywashing he now is back on board and even more into it than I am!! Best of luck!! ♥

 

[imamom32]

OP, this very same thing happened to my best friend. I'm not sure about your history, but as for her she faced many problems and the Dr.'s thought it just wasn't possible for her. She and her husband tried every drug, procedure, had sex on a schedule, etc. He got to where he wouldn't even be affectionate with her, nevermind having sex. They were crumbling. He had an outburst (horrible delivery of his decision to stop) and she was left in tears. He told her pretty much the same thing your husband told you later on.

My best friend decided the stress was taking a toll on her as well and they just needed a break from it all. So they took one. It took a few months for their normal sex life to return but they eventually got back into their groove. One day while looking at drug store fertility kits, she decided what the heck, let's see what happens. Turns out she and her doctors (it happens) had her times of ovulation completely off. She bought a box of tests that she had to use every day that gave her a digital smiley face when she was fertile. One time, and it worked. They now have a beautiful baby girl who is nearing 1 year old.

I just had to comment on your post because the sadness you speak of, I watched her go through for a few years. It's heartbreaking.

Take this break. I know it's hard. But take it and take care of yourself for a little while.

Best of luck to you!

 

[Ariannda]

When we found out both my tubes were blocked my DH came with me to the Fertility Specialist, but something was wrong. We dont really want to do IVF but he didn't want to talk about the other options. He kept saying "i dont want to know if you get the procedure" and "i'd be thrilled if you turned up pregnant". What his REAL problem was was money. We are drowning in the house we're renting, and he knows i love it here but once he actually talked to me I told him it was simple. We'll move, we'll save money paying a lot less rent elsewhere, thats closer to work and while i love it here i hate more and more about the house (which we had signed a lease to own deal) and it's not worth our stress.

After we discussed everything he was back on board, so i told him i could get the procedure the next day, or wait until october. He said to go for it. I have 4 kids, if it hadn't been important to him i wouldn't have pushed him. If he could tell me honestly he didn't mind giving up and not even trying to have a baby, i would accept that and be perfectly happy. I know his love isn't contingent on a pregnancy, but it's still something hes wanted for so long.

Men, they just dont think the way women do. To me it was simple, to him it was a lot more difficult

 

[amgraf86]

Thank you ladies! He told me after a couple of days he just needs a break because there is just so much going on and he didn't want to worry about that too. I understand where he was coming from but his delivery left much to be desired.
I told him that I will agree to hold off for a little while but that I really did hope this was our month.
I love my husband very much and I know having a child is very important to him so hopefully he will be ok to try again by the new year. Sadly my bff just found out she can't try again until April '14 and has suffered a chemical pregnancy so she and I will be going strong in 2014.

At least you guys had a discussion about where he is at. Maybe not trying is exactly what you need.....ya know letting passion take its course. I am curious as to why your friend has to wait until 2014 to try again?

She has PCOS and her doctor doesn't want her on Clomid right now because they want her to try to lose weight first which is really hard for her because of her hormone imbalance so they told her she needs to work on losing weight before they move to the next step in her fertility. At first she was really upset but now she said she wants to work on her health and try and maybe something good will happen for her.

 

[HBGirl]

I want to offer some comfort. DH and I were taking huge strain and fighting about TTC all the time. I told him I was done and he agreed. We took a break from trying and just lived our lives. The month I got my BFP we dtd 7 days before expected ovulation.

I am now carrying a totally unexpected baby girl. Sometimes all you need is a break.

 

[aoife2013]

I am so sorry to hear that
I can't imagine how difficult that must be, we all here know how hard it is when your are longing for a baby and to know that it might not happen as soon as you want it to can crush your heart!

I really just wanted to give you a few words of support and I hope that things get better. Like the previous posters said, your DH is probably feeling some of the same stress, disappointment and inadequacy that you are but men just dont get the "baby urge" that we do. That is just down to biology I agree that maybe you should just give him a bit of time free of the baby talk and re-visit the issue in a month or so. maybe by then some of the pressure will be off and he will be ready to talk about it with a fresh mind.