I can understand team yellow before birth, but after???

[waitandsee]

I have more of an issue with parents who keep their baby girls in fru fru dresses that they can't crawl in, and tell boys to man up if they cry.

Why is it more of an issue to have a baby girl in a fru fru dress that she can't crawl in, than having a baby boy in a fru fru dress that he can't crawl in?
That's kinda my point.

I don't think babies give a damn about gender stereotyping yet. Unless they are getting bullied for it, kwim?

 

[Jade_Kitten]

 

[Tacey]

I have more of an issue with parents who keep their baby girls in fru fru dresses that they can't crawl in, and tell boys to man up if they cry.

Why is it more of an issue to have a baby girl in a fru fru dress that she can't crawl in, than having a baby boy in a fru fru dress that he can't crawl in?
That's kinda my point.

I don't think babies give a damn about gender stereotyping yet. Unless they are getting bullied for it, kwim?

He's 5 though, so able to choose what he wants to wear.

 

[SamanthaYC]

I think that woman is crazy. She is encouraging him to wear girly things but forbids him to wear cargo pants? But she wants him to choose his own identity? That's straight up backwards and crazy.

 

[k.mcmahan2010]

I understand the whole "gender neutral" thing, but this is NOT gender neutral (at least going strictly off of what this article says). As someone else said, it seems she wanted a girl, and got a boy, so she is trying to raise him as a girl as much as possible and calling it "gender neutral" and "defying stereotypes".

 

[Charlie_x]

I posted a thread about this in 2nd trimester last night, the whole consepct of this and the article to me just made me feel like the mother was ashamed that her son is a boy and that it will lead to mental issues in his adult life, its just so barmy, i dont understand why they would do it tbh theres another article aswell which is even worse! I'm sorry but she is just batshit crazy lol

 

[youngwife20]

I didnt read everyones responce but.

They said " raising there child gender neutral" yet when he was dispalying masculine traits she pushed him to play with dolls? " now that isnt gender nueatral she is making him do something girly in order for him to not display his male traits. which is wrong.

I understand about not exclusivily puting them in just blue or just pink. but her aproach can be damaging. shes using the excuse of " im doing this gender neutral thing". but hes banned from wearing combats? why should he be? she makes it seem like its his free choice but shes really stoping him from exploring what he wants. he may enjoy wearing womens cloths. fine. but she isnt giving him enough freedom to decide for himself.

 

[youngwife20]

smh

what does smh mean?

 

[leigh5tom]

Surely allowing him to be gender neutral would mean unisex clothes?? ie plain jeans, plain tops, neutral haircut etc? Dont see why she is allowing him to wear either one or the other if she wants him to be honestly gender neutral. She might argue that dresses should be seen to be for boys and girls, but they aren't, they have been associated as a female item of clothing for centuries and always will! It's tradition, and whatever she tried to do to 'step out of the stereotype' or whatever is going to be unsucessful. Its how we have all been raised, its never going to change.

I think this little boy is going to be so confused, he will have no sense of identity in my opinion. People are either Male or Female, and that's how things are. There is a reason that it is norm for someone to reveal their gender surely?? doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Thanks for posting this, was really interesting to read xxxx

 

[ZombieQueen]

I can understand not wanting to stereotype and force my child into a mold the public sees fit, if my kid grows up to be gay, crossdress or anything else, as long as my child is happy I will not view self expression as a bad thing. But I do know that life is a scary place sometimes, when i was 5 I didn't really know the difference between boys and girls except toys and clothes, but if I didnt have these things to help me see a difference, I'd be greatly confused.. I would be even more terrified when the birds and the bees started to make their appearance. This lady is just confusing her child! I'm all for letting kids pick their own toys, play with whoever they want and aspire to be anything, but I will still dress my child in their gender specific clothes, there are too many other things to contemplate and figure out growing up i wont add another outrageous challenge to my poor child's shoulders.

 

[Jade_Kitten]

i just feel really bad for this child...now everyone knows he is a boy and if they continue to dress him like this, the bullies at school are going to have a field day torturing this poor kid. its bad enough it doesnt take much to be a target for bullying

 

[overcomer79]

I don't agree with the comment "he's five so he choose's what he wears".

The parents did this until he was five and he was ENCOURAGE to wear feminine stuff.

I DON'T consider this gender neutral.

My son dresses like a boy and while we have "boy toys" to play with for him, he is not made to feel bad for picking up a doll or playing with a play kitchen.

The comment made about parents making little boys feel bad for crying...hmmm I guess I must be a horrible parent then. My son is approaching 2 and a half and when he throws a tantrum or tries to cry for something he wants...he is sent to his room and yes he does get a talking to about how he can't cry and whine for what he wants. He has a WONDERFUL vocabulary (about 3 and a half or maybe over) so I can expct that of him.

I will expect the same if I have a little girl as well.

Nothing wrong with telling a child (either gender) that they don't cry for what they want.

I have a five year old nephew and all he does is whine what what he wants...my kids aren't doing that.

 

[baby D]

I don't agree with the comment "he's five so he choose's what he wears".

The parents did this until he was five and he was ENCOURAGE to wear feminine stuff.

I DON'T consider this gender neutral.

My son dresses like a boy and while we have "boy toys" to play with for him, he is not made to feel bad for picking up a doll or playing with a play kitchen.

The comment made about parents making little boys feel bad for crying...hmmm I guess I must be a horrible parent then. My son is approaching 2 and a half and when he throws a tantrum or tries to cry for something he wants...he is sent to his room and yes he does get a talking to about how he can't cry and whine for what he wants. He has a WONDERFUL vocabulary (about 3 and a half or maybe over) so I can expct that of him.

I will expect the same if I have a little girl as well.

Nothing wrong with telling a child (either gender) that they don't cry for what they want.

I have a five year old nephew and all he does is whine what what he wants...my kids aren't doing that.

I think the 'not cring because you are a boy' comment is meant in the situations where a child has hurt themselves and whereas a girl might get a cuddle and a kiss better, a little boy would be told to be brave as big boys don't cry --- I view that as wrong! Nothing wrong with expressing hurt with tears girl or boy in my opinion

 

[overcomer79]

I don't agree with the comment "he's five so he choose's what he wears".

The parents did this until he was five and he was ENCOURAGE to wear feminine stuff.

I DON'T consider this gender neutral.

My son dresses like a boy and while we have "boy toys" to play with for him, he is not made to feel bad for picking up a doll or playing with a play kitchen.

The comment made about parents making little boys feel bad for crying...hmmm I guess I must be a horrible parent then. My son is approaching 2 and a half and when he throws a tantrum or tries to cry for something he wants...he is sent to his room and yes he does get a talking to about how he can't cry and whine for what he wants. He has a WONDERFUL vocabulary (about 3 and a half or maybe over) so I can expct that of him.

I will expect the same if I have a little girl as well.

Nothing wrong with telling a child (either gender) that they don't cry for what they want.

I have a five year old nephew and all he does is whine what what he wants...my kids aren't doing that.

I think the 'not cring because you are a boy' comment is meant in the situations where a child has hurt themselves and whereas a girl might get a cuddle and a kiss better, a little boy would be told to be brave as big boys don't cry --- I view that as wrong! Nothing wrong with expressing hurt with tears girl or boy in my opinion

Thanks for clearing that up. My little boy gets lots of cuddles when he hurts himself, or has had a bad dream or doesn't feel good. I'm not raising a senseless jerk by telling him he shouldn't cry and he daddy def doesn't do that.

 

[Tacey]

I don't agree with the comment "he's five so he choose's what he wears".

The parents did this until he was five and he was ENCOURAGE to wear feminine stuff.

I DON'T consider this gender neutral.

My son dresses like a boy and while we have "boy toys" to play with for him, he is not made to feel bad for picking up a doll or playing with a play kitchen.

The comment made about parents making little boys feel bad for crying...hmmm I guess I must be a horrible parent then. My son is approaching 2 and a half and when he throws a tantrum or tries to cry for something he wants...he is sent to his room and yes he does get a talking to about how he can't cry and whine for what he wants. He has a WONDERFUL vocabulary (about 3 and a half or maybe over) so I can expct that of him.

I will expect the same if I have a little girl as well.

Nothing wrong with telling a child (either gender) that they don't cry for what they want.

I have a five year old nephew and all he does is whine what what he wants...my kids aren't doing that.

I think the 'not cring because you are a boy' comment is meant in the situations where a child has hurt themselves and whereas a girl might get a cuddle and a kiss better, a little boy would be told to be brave as big boys don't cry --- I view that as wrong! Nothing wrong with expressing hurt with tears girl or boy in my opinion

Thanks for clearing that up. My little boy gets lots of cuddles when he hurts himself, or has had a bad dream or doesn't feel good. I'm not raising a senseless jerk by telling him he shouldn't cry and he daddy def doesn't do that.

Yes, I meant the macho, big boys don't cry, hide your feelings approach.
I understand all these comments about the parents actively repressing stereotypical boy clothes/behaviour, but I feel that the article is highly likely to be extremely biased and designed to be inflammatory. I just always want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Pocky]

Poor little lad's probably going to grow up with some identity issues there I find the whole thing rather creepy.

Totally agree with everyone pointing out that there is nothing gender neutral about discouraging boy clothes and encouraging girl clothes though. That's just grooming him to be the daughter she didn't get O_O

 

[InVivoVeritas]

When my girls were babies and toddlers I raised them as gender neutral -- dressed them in jeans and tees, let them play with Bob the Builder as much as Polly Pocket. My younger daughter had a Sword of Destiny that she used to slay the dragon and rescue the princess.

BUT. They were always girls, and proud of it. Both went through a pink and sparkly phase, and where one stuck with jeans and tees when she was old enough to choose for herself, the other much prefers pretty dresses and high heels.

The most charitable thing I can say here is that the parents in the story have missed the point of what gender neutral means. My girls are confident in themselves and the choices they make. I think this little boy will just end up feeling confused and vaguely ashamed.

 

[oh_socold]

I read most of the responses and I'd have to agree about the article. She is actively encouraging her son into playing with dolls and wearing more feminine clothing. Now, there is nothing wrong with a girl playing with "stereotypical" boys things, and boys playing with "girl toys" my cousins and I (all male) used to fight over purses when I was a little girl.

I honestly don't get why the child couldnt wear gender neutral clothes. My sister and I hated dresses to the point we would scream and cry when my grandmother attempted to even take us shopping for them. We used to wear jeans and t shirts and sneakers...everyone knew we were girls. We had short hair because my mother thought it was easier to manager, and that it got less dirty if you were going to be running around the way kids do. People knew we were girls...

my mother never let us wear what we wanted though. My sister wouldve opted to wear absolutely nothing, and I would've insisted on making my own clothes...(which i still do now)...needed to have some restrictions right?

 

[TheNewMrs]

Well I guess this is what happens when a mother just wanted a girl and rather than admit it shes trying to force her kid into being one. Makes me quite sick to be honest.

Nobody has to teach a boy to like adventure and heroic games, its in them (I believe). Every wee boy wants to be a hero. Regardless of weather or not they want a doll and pram for Christmas or decide to wear Mammy's high heels around the house (which 2 out of 3 of my brothers did when they were little). Our parents allowed us to wear what we wanted, (I looked more like a boy than a girl till I was about 8!) , play with whatever toys we wanted and have as many male and female friends as were kind to us. Saying that I also got a ride-on tractor for my 6th Birthday because I wanted to be a farmer like my Poppa.

So yes, I am all for trying to keep your child from stereotyping but this woman clearly wants a baby girl!

People like her p!$$ me off!

 

[ZombieQueen]

Well I guess this is what happens when a mother just wanted a girl and rather than admit it shes trying to force her kid into being one. Makes me quite sick to be honest.

Nobody has to teach a boy to like adventure and heroic games, its in them (I believe). Every wee boy wants to be a hero. Regardless of weather or not they want a doll and pram for Christmas or decide to wear Mammy's high heels around the house (which 2 out of 3 of my brothers did when they were little). Our parents allowed us to wear what we wanted, (I looked more like a boy than a girl till I was about 8!) , play with whatever toys we wanted and have as many male and female friends as were kind to us. Saying that I also got a ride-on tractor for my 6th Birthday because I wanted to be a farmer like my Poppa.

So yes, I am all for trying to keep your child from stereotyping but this woman clearly wants a baby girl!

People like her p!$$ me off!

I agree that certain things are already IN them. My good friend is gay and he was dressed as a boy, played with trucks in the mud and did everything all the other boys did, but he still ended up being more feminine when he got into his teen years. I think the teenage stage is the time to discover yourself and explore new things, styles and find your identity. Not when you're 5.