I can't believe him!

Discussion in 'Teen Pregnancy' started by stuffymuffy, Dec 16, 2009.

  1. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    So today FOB sat down next to me in the library at school, he was sitting next to me for over an hour and didn't say a word to me! Not one word! And to top it all off, he was flirting with other girls right in front of me! Here I am sitting not even a foot a way from him, with my baby bump protruding with the child that WE made and he can't even say hello! I can't believe him. I know we aren't together anymore but I would figure the very least he could do was ask how I'm doing. I know life isn't going to be fair, but it irritates me that he gets to just go on with his life as if nothing is happening. He still hasn't spoken to me in two months, and Idk how to get it through his head that he is going to be a parent too. I'm really worried that he's never going to come around and he'll go off to college next year and our child will never know his/her father. How do I get through to him and make him realize that he's going to be a dad in a few months and it's time he took responsibility? Any advice would be great, I feel like I'm going crazy lol
    Sorry for the rant!
     
  2. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    Hi ya hun, I dont really know what to say, but I just wanted to give you hugs. :hugs: It sounds awful what you are going through..with him sitting there right next to you flirting with other girls but cant open his mouth to say hello to the mother of his child! He sounds like he needs a good kick up the backside in my opinion :growlmad: How old is he? x
     
  3. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    thanks:hugs: and he's 17, and he's been using his age as an excuse to not deal with the situation. He won't talk to me but he's told others that he's "just too young to deal with it right now." Apparently he forgot that we're the same age and I have to deal with it too..lol
     
  4. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    He has got some cheek hasnt he? " Too young to deal with it " but he wasnt too young to have sex and make a child! :growlmad: Are you in close contact with his parents at all, & do they know about the baby hun? Sorry to ask these questions Im just trying to get an idea of your support network? xx
     
  5. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    Oh I don't mind questions, I appreciate any advice. And no his parents are part of the reason that we broke up, they don't think that I'm good enough for their son because I grew up in a divorced household (my dad remarried though and I'm very close to my step mum) it's the most ridiculous reason I have heard! But anyway, they know that I'm pregnant, his mum called me when she found out and told me that I had ruined her son's life.
     
  6. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    Well thats awful, who are these people with such ancient values? :shrug: And too call you up and say " you " had ruined her son's life? I would have said, "Excuse me woman, but it takes two to make a baby you know, and your son happened to be involved". Silly woman! But anyway, hopefully YOUR family are supportive? I know some people might give the advice to keep trying with the FOB but I am not sure if I would take that approach. Id probably just withdraw a bit. I can see why he is actually acting like such a jackass though when his parents are probably filling his head with rubbish more than likely, they are living in a dreamworld with all of this divorced household lark! They need to move into the land of now, anyway Im going off on a bit of tangent as I usually do :dohh: However, he WILL have to pay child support, do you love him still? I would concentrate on YOU and your baby hun and try not too worry too much about what he is doing or who he is flirting with. I know its hard but I wouldnt go stressing yourself out trying to make him change. He hasnt forgotten you, and he knows your there.Do you have friends, and any support groups you can go to for young mums in your area. xxxx
     
  7. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    Idk if I love him, but I would be willing to try and make it work so that our child would have both of his/her parents. We had a really good relationship when we were together and I think he would be an amazing dad. We were together for over a year before we broke up and this isn't him at all. Anyway, my family, except for two of my sister's doesn't know yet, honestly my mom isn't going to be angry I'm sure her and my dad will be very supportive it's just I have college lined up for next year were I'll be pre-med and I know I'm going to get the "I'm disappointed in you" speech. But I'm starting to show so I can't keep it hidden much longer. Most of my friends know, well actually most of my school knows, and the majority of them are supportive but it's tough when they want to be like regular teenagers and I can't keep up. School tires me out so by the time I get home the last thing I want to do is go out lol And most of their responses are to just get over him, which I would love to do except for the fact that I'm having his child kind of keeps me attached to him. It's all really overwhelming and some times I would really like to give up, don't get me wrong I love my LO and I'm excited to be a mum but I would rather he was with me.
     
  8. annawrigley

    annawrigley Guest

    hi, sorry to jump in but i know what you mean about friends saying "get over him". mine are all like "oh just forget about him" which i would love to do lol but it isnt that simple.
    i figured im gona have to speak to him at some point, so why not now?
    if only your FOB could see it that way :dohh:
    xx
     
  9. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Sorry to hear this :(

    Its his loss hun xx
     
  10. It is a difficult situation you are in hun:hugs:
    But at the moment you do eed to think about yourself as in a few months you will have the most life changing experience happen to you.
    And like you said your both the same age but hes apparently 'too young' to deal with the situation, what he really means to say is hes immature and dosent want to face up to this beautiful life he has played part in creating and has decided to run away because hes the dad and he can...
    But you are the most important thing at the moment and you dont need the stress from him getting in your way. Also i would suggest talking to your parents soon, the longer you keep it from them the more they will lecture you.
    Maybe in a few months when he sees you with your bump something may click inside of him and make him think that he has a responsibility to live up to now and he cant keep away from it all his life, but at the moment just let him play his games and carry on, don't let it bother you or get you down because then he knows hes affecting you and still has a hold over your feelings, which is what he wants
    xxxx​
     
  11. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    Yeah whenever I mention anything about him they are like "just get over him, you'll forget about him soon". And you are sooo right it just isn't that simple! I would love to just move on and forget about him but carrying his child kinda makes that difficult lol
     
  12. EternalRose

    EternalRose Well-Known Member

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    You cant just get over him, as he is the father of your child but its easy for them to say hun as they dont have the priorities you have now. I must admit I admire you so much for going to school still and everything. I am so lazy now, I just about get out of my pjs xx
     
  13. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    nothing wrong with being lazy, I think pregnancy gives us the right to be lazy lol
     
  14. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    I'm really trying to just ignore him but seeing him all day everyday makes it very difficult. Seeing him laughing, flirting etc. feels like a slap in the face to me as he gets to just go along as if we're not about to be parents. And I caught him staring at my bump the other day so I think he might be starting to get it, but I just don't know anymore what to expect with him. This may sound really horrible but for some reason it seems like he's enjoying seeing me a mess like this, I was walking the other day to class and got so tired I had to stop to catch my breath (my school is really big and my classes were really far apart) and he stopped for second and just smirked at me as I leaned up against the wall huffing and puffing and holding my belly.
     
  15. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    I feel like I've let my LO down though, if something doesn't change soon I'm afraid bubby won't have a daddy :cry:
     
  16. Shireena__x

    Shireena__x In My Own Little World

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    this migh sound dumb...but egnore him too. his flirting with other girls infront of you to make you jealous! he wanted a ''so what theres no were else to sit no wer else to be dont do it in my fucking face !!'' reply. but u did good u egnored him.

    try not to tell ur ''friends'' the ones that tell him things anything. say for a month well till after the christmas holdays, try not to have him hear anything that youve said or you miss him or you want him there cause its gna feed his ego more and hes just gna b feuled to do it more.

    after the holidays when he hasn heard a thing from you he'l start to worry.

    or even ask about you.

    and when he does or you hear he does, thats your cue for total shame/humiliation you get ma drift! :)

    when hes starting to care kick him in the balls were it hurts and cut him off:D

    or be an adult and act responsible :haha:
     
  17. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    lmao I would really like to kick him some days. I really just want to shake him and be like "wake up, you're going to be a father and you need to start acting like it!" And I think that's a really good idea, I'm tired of him having the upper-hand, maybe if he thinks I'm done caring that he'll start to step-up. It just really irritates me that he could act like that.
     
  18. verity

    verity New Member

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    i know exactly how you feel hunni im 24 and 34 weeks preg and the dad totally ignores me he told me to keep the baby but now tells me he only told me to because his family made him he broke all his promises has been back to his ex split up with her and is now with another girl all while ive been preg hes horrible to me and like you say its annoying that they just get on with their lives like nothing has changed - know ive ranted as well but thought it might help to know others in a similar situation - good luck xx
     
  19. Shireena__x

    Shireena__x In My Own Little World

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    as you can tell im a heartless bitch :)

    have u tried his parents??

    im assuming your parents no, what did they say/ask about dad?

    if you IM him, or get a quick 5 sentences to him mention his parents

    something causal like, what would your mom/dad/gaurdian say? do you think you would be happy if your mom aborted you i wonder what she would say if she knew how you was acting

    also spoil his ''game'' if everyone in school dont already no, and your ready to let them no TELL THEM!

    spread romours if need be if it means he will talk to you and say things like

    ''if mary knew this baby was yours i dont think she would like you flirting with her''

    or even TRY talk to mary, ''hi mary, you do no he got me up the duff then left me, yearh his a total arse, i dont even think he cares, must do it to alot of girls''

    edt: p.s i dont no whos mary i just got carried away with the moment lol
     
  20. stuffymuffy

    stuffymuffy Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry, we have a similaar situation and I know how hard it is, so good luck to you too! :hugs:
     

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