i cant do the hospital again

[Novbaby08]

just the idea of it stresses me out to the point i actually broke out in a low grade fever. Id rather deliver unassisted at home then go to the hospital if something went wrong then go through that hell again. My last birth was so awful I left the hospital feeling like a failure, and all my wishes were ignored, they just did whatever the hell they felt like. I cant do that again.

 

[Angel2Fire]

I feel the same. I had a c-section with my little boy, which wasn't that bad, but being on the ward afterwards was awful. I was given conflicting advice about everything (one MW would could in and swaddle my baby, then the next would unswaddle him and say babies shouldn't be swaddled!)

I'm hoping for a homebirth, but I'm also hoping to get a doula so that if I do have to go into hospital I will have someone independant with me during the birth. Maybe thats something you could think about?

Good luck xx

 

[Novbaby08]

I have no choice but hospital, my insurance covers hospital 100% so I talked to my mom and shes going to get me a doula, and stay with me the entire time im there to make sure they dont do anything unnecessary. Because pretty much my entire experience there last time was bad

 

[madasa]

What a horrible situation for you With a good team of support around you, you stand a good chance of havig a good experience this time! Will it be a different hospital this time? Will you be attended by MWs or an OB? Have you debriefed your first birth? It's someting you should be able to go over with your doula... Try to stay at home as long as you can. And just a thought, not sure if it's relevnt.... can you get any consent forms during pregnancy and go thru them, so that you're not signing them in labour? Good luck! x

(sorry fr bad typing, I'm nak!)

 

[madasa]

Agh, what a horrible situation for you

You can do it, with a good team of support around you you have a good chance of having a much better experience this time

Will it be a diff hospital? Will you be attended by MWs or an OB? Have you debriefed from your last birth? (Your doula ahould help with that if you need it.)

If there are consent forms, can you get them during pregnancy so that you are not going thrugh them in labour? Stay at home as long as you can, since you feel you will cope better there. You can still do this xx

 

[amjon]

I didn't want to go to the hospital but ended up there in the end. It really wasn't all that bad. Can you go to a different hospital than last time? They aren't all the same.

 

[Novbaby08]

All the hospitals around here are fairly similar. I really like my OB, but the hospital situation was horrible. My mom said this time around she'll stay with me the entire time instead of leaving periodically and coming back, and we'll put a birth plan together and make sure it goes as planned. I cant afford a midwife and my insurance wont cover one. And doulas are expensive as well

 

[Kel127]

I'm in the same exact situation. My insurance only gives coverage for one hospital. So I have to go back to the same place I delievered my son, and I'm not happy about it.
I did change OB and have had lots of discussions with him about what I want done differently this time. My mom and husband are also staying with me 100% of the time this time, because I was pressured into an epidural last time when I was alone, scared, in pain and exhausted.
I think the biggest thing for myself, is that I know more about my options this time, and have more confindence to say no and not just go along with what they tell me.
I hope you have a better hospital experience this time, and get the birth you want.

 

[madasa]

And doulas are expensive as well

It depends, lots of new ones keep their fees low while they gain experience. It's just a case of shopping around... Some might be willing to let you spread the cost, too. And maybe family and friends could help out with that (instead of buying dozens of tiny outfits that only get worn once!) ??

 

[xSin]

I'd recommend that you watch The Business of Being Born, and even if you can't have a MW and a homebirth, make sure you are prepared and armed by educating yourself on what your options are.

I don't know yet whether I'll be allowed to have a Home Birth myself, though I'm going to try for one and if I end up in the hospital I am hellbound and determined to know exactly WHAT they are putting into those IV's in my arm. A quote from the documentary I recommended

"It was very easy for them to do whatever they wanted, because I already had the IV in my arm."

Don't let them pressure you and don't let them force anything on you; that's one aspect where you are actually lucky being in the States -- the laws are pretty clear that in the field of medicine, anything done to a patient without their informed consent, is assault. If you're not comfortable with something, you do have the right of refusal. Make sure you're surrounded by people who will back you up on this as well. Uneducated but well-meaning "supporters" often will get confused and simply go along with whatever doctors say, operating under the assumption that "Doctors know best" -- Too often that imbalance of power, gets abused.

YOU know your body best... this is YOUR birth, You have the right to still give birth the way you want to, even in a hospital setting. Best of luck!

 

[Novbaby08]

I'd recommend that you watch The Business of Being Born, and even if you can't have a MW and a homebirth, make sure you are prepared and armed by educating yourself on what your options are.

I don't know yet whether I'll be allowed to have a Home Birth myself, though I'm going to try for one and if I end up in the hospital I am hellbound and determined to know exactly WHAT they are putting into those IV's in my arm. A quote from the documentary I recommended

"It was very easy for them to do whatever they wanted, because I already had the IV in my arm."

Don't let them pressure you and don't let them force anything on you; that's one aspect where you are actually lucky being in the States -- the laws are pretty clear that in the field of medicine, anything done to a patient without their informed consent, is assault. If you're not comfortable with something, you do have the right of refusal. Make sure you're surrounded by people who will back you up on this as well. Uneducated but well-meaning "supporters" often will get confused and simply go along with whatever doctors say, operating under the assumption that "Doctors know best" -- Too often that imbalance of power, gets abused.

YOU know your body best... this is YOUR birth, You have the right to still give birth the way you want to, even in a hospital setting. Best of luck!

I've seen it the sad part of that documentary was how true it all was.
I'm working on a birth plan, as well as getting a doula, I actually meet with one on Saturday. In my birth plan I have stated I don't want an IV or saline lock, that I want as little medical intervention as possible. I don't want to go through what I want last time, so I'm definitely working on a way to prevent it. I also plan to labor at home for a while and my mom and doula will be with me throughout my entire labor. It seems like last time as soon as I was alone is when they'd start up on me. lol you know your nurses are pushy when you lie when asked if your epidural wore off.
I was so glad it did too, the pain was not so bad I needed to be paralyzed from the waist down. I plan to also be more aggressive this time, last time I was only 19, I was single didn't really know what i was doing or what to expect, this time its quite a bit different.

 

[oread]

I'm sure the second time will be better, I'm sure you're older and wiser and more confident in what you want. I went to the hospital for my first baby, but for the next kid its defintely a homebirth because I hated the hospital so much (and relatively speaking my experience wasn't that bad)

But if I were to go to the hospital again I would stay home as long as possible, and tell the staff to seriously fuck off. No I won't get an IV, no I won't lay down for monitoring 20 minutes out of every hour, get out of my room, shut up, I am going to eat and drink and do what I want I let that stuff be open for debate last time and that was my mistake, but during labor is no time to have to be arguing.

 

[Pinkorblue11]

But if I were to go to the hospital again I would stay home as long as possible, and tell the staff to seriously fuck off. No I won't get an IV, no I won't lay down for monitoring 20 minutes out of every hour, get out of my room, shut up, I am going to eat and drink and do what I want I let that stuff be open for debate last time and that was my mistake, but during labor is no time to have to be arguing.

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