I could cry

[carrieanne]

ok let me tell you im 42 ive just had my 5th and i would do it again i had my first at 27 and im a better mum now than i was then to say you too old at 23 is ridiculas they havent even started their own lives yet! my last 3 kids have been at 36 39 and 42 so you get your chin up and dont worry your far from being an older mum sweetie and that goes to anyone else thats past their 20s xxxxxx

 

[banana1975]

That just shows the ignorance and immaturity of the 23 year old poster! I know that at 23 I was nowhere near thinking of having a baby! I had my dd when I was 27 and I still felt like a baby. I am currently 34 weeks pregnant at 35 years old, and this baby was conceived at 34 years of age. You are at an amazing age to have children. You have life experience, patience, and maturity...that many (I'm not saying all) 23 year old don't have!

Please don't waste your time stressing about a ridiculous post like that...

 

[inkdchick]

well im 43 and hoping to fall pregnant really soon and i have two daughter 18 and 16 and think that i am more ready and mature to have children now than what i was when i was in my early 20's with my daughters back then Congrats banana1975 and all the beast for October xx

 

[Mrs-C]

I have continued to read this thread after posting before.

Do you not think that all this criticsm of mother's in their 20s might be just as hurtful to them? I'm just saying, as much as thought to those in their 30s or 40s might not have been considered in the earlier post in the other thread, thought is lacking in the responses here.

I just wanted, once again, to highlight the other side. Everyone has their own thoughts and plans for life and it is not for strangers to judge from afar.

Just my two cents. I wish you all luck in your TTC, whatever your age. After all, parenthood is not about how old you are.

 

[Jody R]

Try not to be too upset about the comment.

At 23 I would have said that I was far too young to have a child, for various reasons including the fact that I wasn't sure if I ever wanted them, wasn't in a relationship I could imagine bringing a child into, didn't have my own home or a decent income etc.

Those are my reasons and put like that I don't think they would offend anybody because they are personal to me and I'm not saying everyone else does or should feel the same. But if I made a sweeping statement that "I think 23 is too young to have a baby" then people would perhaps be upset because if they did want or have children at around that age they would feel judged. Saying that would be wrong of me and saying 23 or over is too old is wrong of her.

What I mean is, perhaps she hasn't explained herself very well in why she feels that she is too old at 23. I understand why what she said has upset you and I haven't read the thread so I apologise if she was ranting that anyone over 22 was too old or something, but could she have just been talking about herself and comparing herself to her friends and family who had children at an earlier age?

I think a lot of people have an "ideal" age in their heads for certain things, from buying a home to getting married to having a baby or getting promoted or taking that gap year to travel or writing a novel etc and for most people those goals almost never happen on schedule, if at all.

So please don't feel like you have been written off or are too old. I was 34 when I gave birth to Joseph, I know a woman who had her youngest when she was 42 and thought her family was complete and all grown up. I think my Nana was 39 when she had my uncle.

 

[sianyld]

sorry hun, just came across ur thread!
i wouldn't worry about it hun im heading for 27 this yr! dont feel old and neither should u babe! we all hav different points in our lives where we feel ready to make certain decisions, its not about having a baby at 23 coz u feel like ur gettin old! its about feeling ready in ur own mind for new paths! Keep going hunny and UR NOT TOO OLD!!! xxx

 

[ocean_pearl]

I really dont think you should let one person's views upset you and you shouldnt take it personally. Maybe that girl has wanted/had babies very young i.e 15/16 so now she is 23she feels old IYKWIM. Of course 23 is young, we all know that and what she said was strange but dont let it upset you. Sending you babydust x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My OH's mum had her 2nd baby at 40 and her 3rd baby at 43 after a 17yr age gap.

I had my 1st at 17 and my 2nd at 19. I am now 23.

I would not be able to compare our parenting skills. We are both different but neither one of us is a better or worse parent.

I can see how I have changed since having my children. I am now 23 and I have had to mature alot. My children are my life and I wouldn't say my MIL is a better parent than me but I also would not say she is worse. Thats down to the person, not age.

I definitely do not think I am too old for children lol. I am not planning any more but if I did I would be at least 33 before thinking about it!!

 

[Kittique]

I think that comment was totally misinterpreted. The OP was commenting that she felt old IN RELATION the the young parents who are EVERYWHERE eg, 15,16,17. I know that I see hundreds of people this age in my town, and at least 20 people I went to school with have 1 or more children and i'm 22.

I'm 100% sure she did not mean in any way that she was actually feeling too old to have kids, just that there are so many very young people who already have them, that it MADE her feel that way.

I can see how it can be upsetting for people, but I think it's very unfair to start calling her names and making assumptions. I'm also very offended about the general theme of this thread suggesting people that age aren't fit to be parents....

 

[BABYCAREY]

Agree, what a shocking and incredibly naive and stupid thing to say!

When I was 23 I was nowhere near mature enough or ready to have a baby. It took until age 32 to meet Mr Right who is the only guy I want to have a baby with!

What a silly girl she is....don't take any notice, women have babies well into their 40's these days. I said to my counsellor I was worried as I am TTC No 1 at 37, and she said that is not considered even that old these days!

Hi
I just had to reply,havent saw the thread but what a daft girl she must be!!!
I conceived my 3rd at 38 1st time tryin too!!
And wud still like at least 1 more!! Im 40 and wud hate to think im too oldfor more
I know we r havin trouble at the min hittint the egg but im gonna get there!!
Dont let sum silly young girl upset u!! Ur not too old ok!!Look at me ;-)
xxRo

 

[inkdchick]

Lucy1973 look at me too i am 43 and still trying dont give up you are in your prime now thats what i tell myself more patience too we all do it and i cant wait xxxx