When setting up the xmas tree Hadlee should be here, sleeping away in her little bassinet while we had our xmas music on and me and the older kids and daddy decorated the tree, until she started screaming, then I would go get her and change her and nurse her until she was happy again.... but instead I was hanging an ORNAMENT ON MY TREE TO REMEMBER HER!!!! I am just getting so angry all over again lately... I want my baby... and I want to be pg again... and I dont get either of those right now