i dont understand him

[SophiasMummy]

So my LOs birthday was few weeks back, her dad has an open invitation to see LO anytime he wants though he hasnt seen her since he turned up at my door unannounced at the beginning of the year to come see her (i didnt say anything just let him in and he spent a couple hours here playing with LO and telling me what he had been up to and apologising for not coming to see LO around xmas). Anyway last year he came down a couple days before her birthday with his sister, she brought LO and present and he just brought LO a card and promised to send some money soon when he got paid or take us shopping (ive never had a penny from him for LO so didnt think it would happen and it didnt)So we got round to her birthday this year, first both his sisters asked to come see sophia before her b day which i said was fine and just to let me know when they were coming down (i purposely didnt tell them what day her birthday is as they should already know and if they didnt shouldve asked) so they didnt turn up and i never heard from them. Her dad didnt contact me to come see LO so i thought hes obviously not bothered but now i know he doesnt even know when her birthday was, i left any hints about LOs birthday off didnt say anything on my facebook about it being her birthday until the actual day of her b day and as im still friends with her dad on fb (though i dont know why) he must have seen it as a card turned up at my old address (luckily its my mums house) it was a week late, it wasnt sent till 3 days after her birthday and he didnt even spell her first name right, my close friends were all really angry when i told them and said i need to cut contact completly as he obviously doesnt care and they dont know how i can be calm about it. But i think im just to the point now where theres no anger left i spent the first year of her life being angry with him for hardly seeing her when he promised me after i fell pregnant that if we ever broke up he would be a good dad to LO as we both grew up with rubbish dads (i didnt meet mine properly till i was 14) so ive accepted its all a lie now basically and left it to him rather than chasing him down constantly to get him to see LO like i did for the first year of her life. But i am really upset that he doesnt even know sophias birthday or how to spell her name right, this is the last thing i ever wanted for my LO i wanted her to at least have both a mum and dad that love her a dote on her, and now i just feel like ive failed her even though shes the happiest baby anyone knows and everyone even strangers dote on her i just really wanted her to have what i didnt. Sorry this is like one long rant but im just feeling kind of crappy and useless at the moment

 

[omfgski]

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[Jade--x]

I wouldn't bother cutting contact completely, what would be the point when he doesn't make it anyway I'd personally keep anything he sends her, delete him from your facebook so he can't use it to remember her birthday..He should be doing that anyway, and I'd just leave him to it. You've left the door open for him he's chose not to walk through it. Your LO will realise that when they're older.x

 

[Duchess85]

TOTALLY agree with the above and like the previous poster said HE failed her not you xxxx

 

[ZombieQueen]

Wow spelt her name wrong??? Jesus... I don't have words.. Sounds like something my husband would do. I know he doesn't know her birthday, he never knew her due date, thought it was in may... It was in June. And that was when we were together.. Men are so flipping worthless I don't even know what to say except your LO is lucky to have you..

 

[Ceejay123]

Wow that is absolutely despicable! He spelled her name wrong and didn't know her date of birth?. I'd be absolutely fuming. I agree I'd definitely take him off of Facebook, but this is more because I wouldn't want him bragging about his child and how much he's doing for her. I'd be so angry, well done for not letting it get to you.
Your daughter will be thankful that you've left the door open, it's just a shame he's not man enough to walk through it. It sounds as though he's only bothered when there's a slight novelty like a birthday to think about, and it doesn't sound like he makes much of an effort then!