I Don't Want A Baby Shower

[crazyguider]

My rangers who are 14-19 all (like senior girl scouts) to throw me one which is lovely of them so I have promised to take the baby in to the guide hall in mid march
they are all excited, it's not the done thing in the UK but I think they have all seen it in movies

 

[bellablue]

I personally dont want one and dont need one me and my husband have bought every single thing there is for baby!

Alot of people said why arn't you having one its your first i dont like askinG for gifts and like others said center of attention lol!

My sister in law refuses and said well we will throw you a baby welcome party good food family and get you diapers lol i told her not to but we shall see lol

my husband is not the type to get gifts from family even thought they wanna do it from the kindness of there hearts lol i didnt register any where so no one could either i rather just be with family and good food and celebrate her arrival but my parents and grandparents buy her stuff still but i asm close to them

but i have been to some and they were cute to each there own

 

[holly2234]

I didnt and wouldnt have one. For a start i have nobody to throw one for me! Also i just dont like to be the centre of attention and there isnt really anybody i would want to invite who isnt already knitting/buying things for the baby out of their own choice so i dont expect/want anything from anybody.

 

[secretbaby]

We threw one years ago for my friend as she had just split up from her hubby and it was a awful time for her - it was just four of us including her and it was a lovely evening - we did food and games and not presents (was very spur of the moment).

I went to a really well organised one by my friend for her daughter who was pregnant (older friend the daughter was 20!). It was really good fun but it was all the mums friends (only one other girl the daughters age and that was because she was there with her mum!). It was a bit embarassing watching her open loads of presents and having to ohhh and ahhh over all of them.

Also having suffered a neonatal death of my last son - I don't know how I would have felt if we had had a shower for him and had all the stuff people bought (it was bad enough having the stuff we bought) I am not a doom and gloom merchant - I know what happened to me was very rare and just terribly bad luck but it has made me decide that I would never have a shower (would feel I was tempting fate).

 

[readynwilling]

I personally dont want one and dont need one me and my husband have bought every single thing there is for baby!

Alot of people said why arn't you having one its your first i dont like askinG for gifts and like others said center of attention lol!

We have bought almost all the baby stuff ourselves too. People keep saying how there isn't enough stuff on my registry for the shower - and i tell them they don't need to bring gifts!

 

[Teampink322]

you dont HAVE to have a baby shower, my mom and aunt were a little upset that I decided to plan m own but its what I want. Its your baby and a baby shower is to celebrate the new baby and hopefully rack up as many "free" gifts as possible.

 

[aob1013]

I didn't. I think it's actually quite rude!

 

[Paxton]

I don't want one either... I hate being center of attention, and it's just too much of a hassle

 

[berryblue290]

Yeah I am a little superstitious so I was kind of if-y about it...but not up to me to decide, you don't plan it.

 

[Tarellethiel]

I totally agree with you! I'm currently expecting twins and was 33 weeks yesterday. I keep telling my family that I don't want one. Apparently no one is listening because when someone says to me that they can't wait to give me this or that. My little sister is like, "Shhhhh!" I mean yeah my husband I really need help with things because of him not being able to work due to disk problems in his back and me being on leave. We are hurting for money right now but my little sister is already getting supplies to help us with the nursery to get it ready that I don't feel that it's necessary. I'm not all in to them either and no one can understand that.

 

[MommyJogger]

DH and I never intended to have a shower and whenever family asked what we needed, we asked them not to buy us things and that if we needed help, they'd be the first to know. We had decided that our project was to find everything/almost everything used or secondhand. Then MIL went crazy, accused me of depriving her grandson, and drove 12 hours (we thought we were safe this far away) to bring things she thought the baby needed to have new. Which was most things. She stayed for a while and criticized some of our parenting choices, awkwardly tried to reconcile with DH, then left. Then I find out that a friend at work (who doesn't realize I'm not a party person and was specifically avoiding a shower) was planning a surprise baby shower, thinking that the only reason I wasn't having one was because we're 12 hours away from family and most friends. I found out too late to cancel it. It was so awkward and I feel so bad that people went out and spent their money on gifts. I'm grateful that people care about us and about our son and are excited about him, but I'm also kinda miffed (especially at MIL) that I hardly have any say now about baby things because we've been given everything, and I'll feel really bad about giving it away if anyone ever asks "hey where's that thing I bought you?".

 

[Larkspur]

I didn't really want one / felt uncomfortable with the whole 'party where guests are expected to bring a gift' idea but a couple of my friends really wanted to throw one for me because I helped organise their baby showers, and hosted one.

So we compromised - I really just wanted a cosy, girly afternoon where I could see all my close friends (because it's been so hard finding time to catch up with everyone in the last couple of months) so we are having it at my house so I can cook and serve nice food (I love to entertain) and have made it clear presents aren't required, just a piece of good advice that they can write in a baby book (loads of my friends are mothers already). It is pretty low-key. I read about people planning baby showers for 50+ people, stressing out about party favours and the cost and I just think 'Why would you do that to yourself during pregnancy?'

 

[momto3kiddies]

I didn't want one either, my sister was not having any of it and to be honest im so glad she didn't...it was great to be surrounded by friends and family! we ate, played games and just talked about the baby. Yes there was a time set aside to open gifts and my baby boy was showered with awesome presents. A day Im sure to always remember and lovely pictures for his baby book =)

 

[Katy Bug]

I'm glad to be having a baby shower, but I don't necessarily want three :/ It's very nice when your family wants to throw you a shower but I think only one is necessary, two at the max. But three..See my husband's mom divorced his dad years ago and so she wants to throw me a shower too, and so does my husband's step-mom and aunt. My mom and aunt are also throwing me one. It's nice but I really don't think three is necessary. I don't see my mother in law's extended family that much so I'll feel like I'm receiving gifts from a bunch of strangers (that's how it was at my wedding shower).

With one shower you get what you need, with the second you get a little more stuff you need but also doubles of stuff. And by the third you have so much stuff you'll have to save the receipts! So if you have the money to get everything yourself, go for it! You don't have to have a shower if you don't want.

 

[ms.hope]

I don't want one either!

 

[Rosered52]

If you don't want a shower, definitely don't have one! But, I wanted to share a few thoughts in response to this thread.

I think some of you have the wrong idea about baby showers. At their heart, they should be a celebration of an impending new life--like a pre-birthday party. A time for your family and friends to come together and mark the passing of a huge life event, and share in the excitement.

As for the presents bit, I personally think it's a very smart idea. It's basically making use of your "village" to share in the support of your new life. The first year or so of a child's life can be really, really costly, and if the new parents shoulder all of that themselves, it can be really stressful and difficult. By now, most women have been invited to and have participated in many baby showers themselves for friends and family members. In a way, all those gifts I gave over the years to my "village" are coming back to me now, and no one person has to give more than is comfortable for them.

Most people love giving baby gifts! And if you don't, you just don't bring one. Personally, I love getting people practical gifts that I just know they'll use again and again.

 

[kissesandhugs]

I wanted one and helped plan it as well along with my mom, gma, best friend and OH's gma! It was freaking exhausting having to entertain all day and opening presents felt like it took forever but all in all I had a great time and we did get a lot of stuff we needed. Tbh I would've rather just had a small get together maybe a pot luck type deal? INSIDE bc it was so hot! with no presents. Just a get together to celebrate!!!

Also, we spent SO MUCH money to throw it food and all it was kinda like hmm I could've spent this buying things we needed lol!

In the end, it was fun and worth it but exhausting~

 

[kerbear1225]

@rosered: phew a positive! lol.
I helped plan mine and it was actually an all day, co-Ed affair! It was at a banquet hall and just perfect! Beautiful decorations, friends and family from all over celebrating! I couldn't have asked for a better day.
I understand some people don't want them...but it's not 'in bad taste' to plan it yourself or have one. It's about sharing the joy of your upcoming addition! Family and friends giving gifts doesn't make us selfish...,I would and have given back 10 fold.

 

[BumptasticMTY]

We dont want one either. We both hate the thought of having a get together just to receive gifts. Even if we did have one, we relocated to a new city and have no friends or family here. The last part is sad but what are you going to do.

(sorry for bumping an old thread)

 

[PurpleIvy44]

I've very excited for mine next week. It's being thrown for me by my family and it's a time for everyone I care about to come together and share this exciting moment in my life. I have friends and family I haven't seen in awhile and I can't wait to see them and for them to see me. My brother is even flying in from CO b/c he wants to see his little sister, which I think is so thoughtful. So I totally embrace the concept but if it's not for you then don't have one, it's your choice. And it's not all about asking/getting presents, most family & friends like to help you get started and it's their generous way of doing so.