I don't want my MIL to babysit!

[lesleyann]

Just because someone does all the "work" that they're the "main parent". I do all of the work because my OH is never home. He's never once woken up with him, changed a diaper or even fed him, because he works and I don't. I don't really think that makes me the "main parent" or have any higher deciding power regarding our children.
How would you feel if he decided he was the "main breadwinner" and started making the financial decisions?

He is the main and only breadwinner in our house so yes he does get final say if he want to upgrade the tv package or mobile contracts. I tell him what shopping we need he pays, I pick out stuff to buy for the house he pays...

He says its up to me who looks after the kids and will ask if I'm really sure before we leave the kids with anyone.

I would be really pissed off if my hubby ever felt that he had the final say in anything financial just because he's currently earning the money. Just like he would be (rightly) pissed off if i ever felt I had the final say when it comes to LO. We're 50/50 on everything. If he ever used the phrase "It's my money" then he'd know exactly where he could shove it - not that he ever would.

I'm looking after LO which enables him to work full time without paying for childcare. He works full time which enables me to stay home with LO and not worry about money. This doesn't give either of us the right to the final say in anything

My Dh has never said "It's my money".. what works for us would not work for others, I'm happy being at home and think that because he does work bloody hard at work 6 days a week then if he wants to have more tv channels or upgrade his Iphone as long as it does not take money from the kids then his free to do it. We have never had a situation yet where his told me no I cannot spend on something and likewise to him apart from when he is being crazy and says he wants to buy a 1.5k tv when we don't have the money lol

I know the kids best as I'm with them 24/7 where as he gets 2hours a day from coming home to them in bed Mon-Fri and 6hours on a Saturday and all day Sunday. I'm the one who gets them up and has set up a routine, I know when we have breakfast/lunch/dinner I know the foods my son will say he does not like just to get sweeties when he does infact like them.. so as the main care giver its my routine with the kids that are screwed if MIL messes it up, it wont affect Dh but it will me as I will be the one dealing with moody/overtired/hyper etc children

 

[Katy Bug]

I left my 5 week old with my fil and my husbands step mom who I also consider my mil and I love get more than my real mil. The date was much needed. You may be a parent but so is your OH. Let him take you out. Being around baby 24/7 every single day is enough to make you go crazy. I don't like my real mil either but I know I'm eventually going to have to get over not liking her and just let her babysit. Eventually it has to happen or some strain is going to happen.

 

[AlyssaGW]

No it's nothing to do with money at all, and tbh i am looking into seeing if i can afford/get help with nursery fees so that my LO can go to nursery rather than have my mum and MIL look after her.

I know nobody is trying to be critical but im assuming that you probably have a MIL who you get on well with and have never looked down on you as a parent and condesended you?

This is a woman who made me feel bad for formula feeding and told the rest of OHs family that i stopped breast feeding which made me feel like sh*t. She let herself into my flat whilst in was in hospital (bare in mind ive asked for the key back!) to change my bed sheets and took my washing home - which included my dirty underwear, rude, no? Then told OHs family she was doing my washing because i couldnt do it myself. Shes constantly slates my mum for no reason and makes bitchy remarks about my 15 YEAR OLD sister Also when she was a few days old i walked into the garden to find she had taken a bottle out and started to feed her, without asking me. For the first few weeks i wanted me and OH to be the only ones that fed her, so we could get that "bond". To feed my baby without even asking is just rude.

And yeah before anyone says it, i completly agree that my reasons for not letting her babysit are because i have an issue with her, rather than worry about my child being with her. I would never stop her having contact with my daughter, but at the moment i just dont want her to be alone with her. When, and if, she looks after my LO when i go back to work, she will be 9 months by then and hopefully my feelings would have changed. Plus my LO will be alot older and i will (hopefully) feel more comfortable leaving her with babysitters.

I completely understand. My husband loves my MIL more than me and it has caused HELL in our marriage. Hd even kicked me out bcuz I refused to sleep with him once bcuz of it and as soon as that happened, she moved in to take my place. He's disgraced me for her and even told me he regrets marrying me and she has told him to divorce me. For this reason, I want nothing to do with her. However, we've been trying counseling and trying to worknitboug and I just found out I'm pregnant. My first thought was..."I CANNOT let her near my child". I'm genuinely scared to let her around him/her bcuz I just feel like she will interfere like she did in the marriage. It's purely based on my fear of her being allowed in with my child the way she was allowed into my marriage and the damage she could do to my relationship with my child.
She owns a basic school, so clearly she's good with children, but I don't want her to brainwash my child into thinking she's better than me or have him/ her running to her instead of me. So I am with you 100%. If she's intrusive, she needs to be cut off or she will push her way in more and more until she's fully able to replace you in your child's life.

 

[mom2pne]

As a grandma I will be mad if I am told that I couldn’t watch my grandson. In fact it happened within the last 2 weeks. My grandson will be here soon. I would have liked to have had more sitters for my kids, but I only had my mother-in-law and my oldest after my twins came because he turned 12 only 6 days after babies #3 and #4 arrived. And I only had him watch his brothers if I had to go to appointments or run to the store quick. My boys are 26, 24, 14, 14, and 11.