I guess getting on Facebook is more important than naming your baby?*rant*

[October2013]

I would of been really mad too! And then if he told me he didnt know what i meant and got busy (on fb) id be mad all over again for him not replying and asking "what do you mean?" And leaving you wondering lol i think men just dont get it! I think you handled it so much better than i would of ! x

Lol I did get mad when he didn't ask me what I meant lol! But I decided not to fight (this time).

 

[Yipee]

Men are just... men. They're really not the same as us. Mine is not helping to find names, or with shopping, or anything like that. He's not at all excited when baby clothes come in the mail from my mom, even though they are so cute and tiny! And when I bother him too much about "trivial things" he's not interested in, he starts ignoring me a bit.

But, he is working really hard for extra money to support us, since I'll be staying home when the baby comes. So I think he feels like he has a certain role, and so do I, and I really can't complain. He'll be a good dad, especially when the baby is older and he can play with it and teach it things. But he's just not interested in all the planning details I am, like cloth diapering, strollers, or where I'll put the crib for naps.

 

[aaaaa]

I think it is because we already have such a connection with our LO. Our LO is inside us all of the time, growing, moving, kicking. LO is literally a part of us, so we have started the bonding process already. For the men in our lives, they miss out on all of that. They might not have established a real connection yet. My DH was like that with our first. He was aloof, rarely talked to the baby, didn't usually seem interested in feeling the baby, etc. But as soon as our baby came, met him, and he was able to establish a connection, he is absolutely the best dad. He loves her so much. It is pretty much the same with this pregnancy again. But I have no doubt that he loves this baby, and will make such a good daddy for this one as well.

 

[All Girls]

Why not stop texting and have a face to face conversation about names. Is text message really a place to be discussing names. if my OH was texting me names i'd probably ignore him.

 

[October2013]

Why not stop texting and have a face to face conversation about names. Is text message really a place to be discussing names. if my OH was texting me names i'd probably ignore him.

We do discuss names face to face. The text was a simple question about his yes or no opinion on a name. Besides, the point of this thread wasn't about his opinion or response to the name, it was about his lack of response, regardless of what the text said, and instead getting on Facebook.

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

Why not stop texting and have a face to face conversation about names. Is text message really a place to be discussing names. if my OH was texting me names i'd probably ignore him.

In all fairness, Maybe it's not acceptable in your relationship to talk about names over text but its not like that in all relationships. My OH and I text all the time about names and other baby ideas. When you are just throwing ideas back and forth..it should not be a big deal to text one another about it

 

[justhoping]

I had to ask my OH about this because its personally something I couldn't and wouldn't tolerate. He says if its a rare occurrence for him to do this...then just let it slide basically. But, if he has a habit of being this inconsiderate then that's when you have to really look hard at the relationship because that's a sign he's not into this relationship as much as you are.

Big hugs darling

im going to agree with this, thought thinking like this hurts like heck ..i really hope its not what is going on

 

[October2013]

I had to ask my OH about this because its personally something I couldn't and wouldn't tolerate. He says if its a rare occurrence for him to do this...then just let it slide basically. But, if he has a habit of being this inconsiderate then that's when you have to really look hard at the relationship because that's a sign he's not into this relationship as much as you are.

Big hugs darling

im going to agree with this, thought thinking like this hurts like heck ..i really hope its not what is going on

I don't think so. He told me today (in a convo not related to this issue) that he's happier than he's ever been.
Justhoping, Where have you been hiding!? I was wondering about you the other day. Haven't heard from you in a while!

 

[Mrs.Mcguin]

Awwww that must of been nice to hear!! I'm glad things are going better

On an unrelated note...what time is it where you are? It's 2:45am here and I just can't sleep tonight! Matt is sleeping so peaceful beside me and I'm jealous

 

[October2013]

It's 3:26 here! We are always up this late lol. Bunch of night owls watching Star Trek and Family Guy.

 

[Foxy37]

I have been stalking this thread as myself and my oh use to have the same arguments way before i was pregnant .
I use to feel he didnt feel the same way about me as i did him bu to be honest thats just Rubbish . Myself and my oh have a fantastic relationship and sometimes we just dont get round to txting back it deffinetally does NOT mean anything to it but that we are just doing other things . fACEBOOK is a relashionship breaker and there are many many women and men that have isues just like this with it and its very normal .
Also i have to say how lovely it is after 5 years in a relashionship with my oh that i still want to txt him and him me and i reckon the same goes for you October . I hate these threads when women add negatives and sow seeds of doubt in our minds we are all pregnant with hornmones xxx

 

[TMonster]

Men are weird. Many times I feel like DH doesnt care about baby stuff at all. I talk to him about bottles or swings or other stuff like that and he just doesnt care. I told him I wanted to go shopping for some baby clothes and he responded with "why? just give my mom (MIL) enough time and she will buy everything we need." I got soooo pissed at that. HELLO I would like to pick out some of the stuff my child will be wearing myself???? He just didn't seem to grasp it or care. Then, when we were looking at strollers at the baby show he test drove 1 of them, the bugaboo donkey and decided he loved it and he was sold. Whenever I tried discussing other strollers with him and the pros and cons etc. He says that I get upset when he isn't involved and then when he does get involved and have an opinion about something I don't want to listen and do whatever I want anyway so it doesnt matter to him.

I told him I liked that he was trying to help pick out a stroller, I just wish he would have looked at more than one before deciding that was what he wanted and actually test driven a few of them, looked at pros and cons etc. instead of saying this has a great ride and we can add another seat next year when we have our second kid so its perfect and I don't want to talk about anything else.

Men are weird.

Of course he also makes it to every doctors visit, has researched the heart condition Zoe will have extensively, makes sure my cravings are fulfilled and tries to be understanding.

I think men just have different priorities sometimes.

 

[Foxy37]

100% agre Tmonster xxxx

 

[Butterball Ma]

As previously mentioned, men truly are wired differently than us. And unfortunately, they don't have that internal bond that we do with our babies. It sounds like he's a good guy, but suffers some from lapses in judgment, nothing more. From how you've described him, I don't think he's unengaged or uninterested, he's just overwhelmed maybe? I think you guys could plan a date at a nice dinner or go have a picnic and discuss baby names. It could be really romantic and much more personal.

Also...I'm the kind of person, that I would have posted on his FB page something like," I know you're too busy to text me back, but I figured I could get your attention on here " Lol, a little shame *sometimes* goes a long way, as long as you do it the right way and not too whiny-like.

 

[Longl3gz]

When it comes to important stuff with the hubby, I try to avoid texting him, especially when he's working. Im a hardcore texter, and he didn't become one till he met me, but from past experiences he will usually not answer a text if its something we need to discuss in person. My husband is very busy at work and it requires a lot of focus, so I wait until he's free.

I do understand how it can be frustrating. Just make sure you let him know how you feel in person or via voice with "I" statements.

 

[alisha_t]

So, I just wanted to chime in my experience with DH. He took little interest in any of my pregnancies. I think it all makes him a bit nervous (even tho he is 43 years old). He always asks how I am and how the baby is, makes sure I try to rest and eat healthy, but as far as names, shopping, nursery, or anything else related to preparing for baby, he leaves it all to me. However, once the baby is actually here, he is instantly hooked. Won't even say hi to me until he has seen the baby, talked to it, cuddled it, and then he says hi. Now that DD is almost 2, he is even more smitten. Always buying her stuff, playing with her, and calling her on my cell lol. The pregnancy now, however, is the same. How are you, how is LO, that's it. No dr appts, no shopping, etc. I know it is just the way that he is, tho, and that he will absolutely adore this LO just like DD. It's just the prep stuff that gets to him. Maybe it's cultural...

 

[mdjoy]

Right now I hate men so I can't comment! Lol, my baby's father is a game playing asshole so right now I am biased. He and I only got together once in the last 2 months, he has felt baby kick one time and discussed names once. If he does call he stays on 5 min and rushes off the phone and the texts are just as impersonal and uncomfortable. Like he is only keeping in touch because he absolutely has to. Worse yet, like a fool I went and slept with him, knowing it would be a huge mistake, after a month and a half 3 weeks ago and he has not even tried to see me since. His phone has been off since Tuesday and won't get turned back on until this coming Friday but he has my email and can use his mom's phone to call me but I haven't heard from him at all. Beginning to wonder if he will show for our ultrasound on Thursday morning..which is early because he made it seem like he wanted to go..but then again he will act all involved one minute and weird the next so who knows :/...so, really my opinion of men is extremely biased!