I hate breastfeeding

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by penniepie, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. penniepie

    penniepie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2010
    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    I hate it. Always have
    I do if for him because I have to
    Since he was born I have never had"enough" to make him happy
    The supply is either so low every time He wants to nurse he get angry cries and yanks or it's so fast hd is choking
    I hate this. I feel like all my friend do it and it's great and I'm a big failure at it. I bond more with him with a bottle cause I know I'm helping him and hd is happy. I hate this I want to quit but the thought of formula makes me feel like I'm letting him down

    Not to mention I cry and am so stressed all my husband says is u are making it worse. No real emotion support. When the word formula comes up he isn't happy... I'm a first time mom and this is really hard

    I don't know what to do I have seen a lactation consultant they all say keep at it your supply will come up but seriously how long can that take I can't do this 10 times a day

    Help me :(
     
  2. penniepie

    penniepie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2010
    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    I mean the only time we bond during feeding is with a bottle
    We bond all day otherwise :)
     
  3. evasmum

    evasmum Precious Eva & due 05 Nov

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2010
    Messages:
    2,263
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've been struggling too, my lo is 20 days old.

    Fenugreek has really helped boost my supply, there is good info On the Kellymom website.

    :hugs:
     
  4. Soon5kids

    Soon5kids Pregnant with Blessing #6

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know how you feel. I had a strong urge to bf but my milk is just not cutting it and my lo won't latch anymore. And I also hate the idea of formula, but just don't know what else to do.So I know how you feel. :hugs:
     
  5. austinsmom

    austinsmom Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,567
    Likes Received:
    1
    :hugs:...it's stressful in the first few months hun. You say it sprays, and he chokes.. or he yanks. Sounds like a possible oversupply issue ?? In which case, taking anything to increase your supply will make things worse.
    Do you pump at all? How often do you feed on one side? How's LO's diaper output?
    Not trying to be noisy, sometimes nursing isn't so simple. Can you give us a little more details??? Us BnB BF moms try to be extremely supportive... as some of us don't have that much support at home with family and friends.
    :flower:
     
  6. penniepie

    penniepie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2010
    Messages:
    507
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's nice not to feel alone in this... How safe is the fenuGreek?
     
  7. midori1999

    midori1999 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2010
    Messages:
    3,396
    Likes Received:
    0
    What makes you think you have supply problems?

    How many wet/dirty nappies does your LO have and how is his weight gain?
     
  8. BattyNora

    BattyNora Third trimester with 1st

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2009
    Messages:
    991
    Likes Received:
    0
    And you're not alone - I've quite openly dealt with the fact I've hated our breastfeeding journey so far, but am also so proud of getting through it. Now, finally I feel like the balance has shifted...I don't enjoy it, yet, but I don't hate it anymore (all the time at least!)
     
  9. summer rain

    summer rain Mum of 5

    Joined:
    May 5, 2010
    Messages:
    17,116
    Likes Received:
    0
    It sounds to me more like an oversupply as well, I'd try BF in different positions before trying anything to increase your supply because if it is an oversupply it is likely to cause you more problems than it solves if you increase that further xx
     
  10. Palestrina

    Palestrina Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2010
    Messages:
    4,130
    Likes Received:
    0
    There's a lot of misinformation about BF. As if it's this wonderful bonding experience with a baby, that's it's natural etc. The truth is it feels like anything but wonderful for the first couple of months. You're engorged, nipples are super sore maybe cracked, you're recovering from labour or c-section, you have PPD, your hormones are raging, the baby is thrashing around and crying, the feedings never end, and you're delirious from exhaustion and lack of sleep. And you're feeding 10 times a day? Lucky you, for me it was more like 16 times a day.

    This is the reality of the first stage of BF. It's only difficult because nobody told you it would be this way. Nobody told me either and I hated it too. But let me assure you that all the negative things I mentioned above are TEMPORARY. For some women it goes away within 6-8 weeks, for me it was more like 12wks. But it does get better, if it didn't most of us would not have continued it, think about it. In fact not only does it get better, it gets great! I didn't start to feel a bond with my baby through BF until after 8wks had passed. And then at 3months my baby smiled at me, every time I would put him to the breast he would smile at me like "thank you mommy, I love milk!"

    Your mentioned your baby chokes? Sounds like an overactive let down. One way to help with this is to use the laying back position https://www.nancymohrbacher.com/blog/2010/7/18/laid-back-breastfeeding.html This way the let down fighting gravity, I know a lot of mothers who use this with success in battling this problem.

    You mentioned bottles. What's in the bottles? Introducing formula right now affects your supply, your body is still trying to figure out how much milk to make for your baby and if you're substituting formula for milk then you're giving your body a clear message not to make milk. This usually leads to giving up BF prematurely.

    Congrats on your new baby. 28 days is very young, and right on schedule for going through a major growth spurt. Thrashing, crying, and giving you the impression that your milk is not enough is common behavior for a full time BF baby, especially for one who is being tantalized by the easy of bottles.
     
  11. preggers amo

    preggers amo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    0
    someone said to me that motherly love and instinct is from alot of other things aswell not just breastfeeding!!!! and its totally true! so if you hate it then stop it, i had the same problem, being a ftm bf is tough if not done properly, i am still bf but i give her a bottle of formula right after to satisfy her!the first time the mw suggested it to me i was really upset but its been 2 days since i started it and honestly i feel much better, i breastfeed for 20 mins cuz even if the baby is getting something its good enough and then i give her a bottle of formula! depending on how much i feed her.she is sleeping better and i am feeling better.anyway i was not breastfed at all and i turned out just fine!!!! my husband wasnt, none of my sisters were, my sister in law didnt bf 2 of her children ,my mil is not supportive of my bf so its ok if you hate and dont do it! your health is more important as healthy mom equals healthy baby!
     
  12. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2009
    Messages:
    8,766
    Likes Received:
    1
    Penniepie I have written many many long (probably repetitive) posts on here about how I hate bfing it is painful etc and I have the same guilt about formula. A week or so ago I realised I was NOT going to stop, as much as I talked and cried that I wanted to (someone has since told me it could be hormones that make you feel like this?) and it was then I decided that I could either moan and cry every time he fed or just get on with it. Since then it has been alot easier. I think what I'm trying to say is with bfing it seems like it's mind over matter. Some people feel it's this great bonding experience but many don't and for me the only reason I am bfing is because it's what nature intended- I've brought a child into the world and I need to feed him. All this is my opinion ad what's right for me. You've gotta decide if it's right for you, you need to be happy or lo will pick up on it and formula is fine. Your lo is still so young (my lo is 10 weeks old and it's getting easier). Most people have said that by 3 months it's eAsy and then it's way easier than ffing. Good luck whatever you do.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice