I hate feeling like this.... ( a little long )

[LexyAjMommy]

I had my 12 week nuchal scan about 2 weeks ago...

The U/S tech is a really close friend of mine who, 9 years ago when I was pregnant with DD, worked for my OB/GYN as their ultrasonographer and she told me my first child was a girl. I cried. I wanted a boy so bad- I asked if parts could be added. 9 years later? I wouldn't change a thing about her.

When I got pregnant again, 2 years later, she no longer worked for my OB but since I needed level 2 u/s's- she now worked for the Maternal Fetal Medicine department at Yale and did all my u/s's for my son and told me with joy that I was having a little boy.

9 years later, I love my DD and DS and would have never changed a thing. I have been divorced 5 years and am expecting my first child with my OH. This is his first child. He is an amazing father to my children, in the absence of their own father- who has his own agenda.

At the 12 week Nuchal, the same U/S tech who did my previous ones did this scan, I was elated cause I love her!!! I asked her to look, knowing it was early and baby was cooperative... she said in her opinion it was a girl....

I was heart broken... I think my OH was too. Even though we wish for happy and healthy.. I know he wanted a little boy. He is getting excited thinking of both names but I no longer refer to my belly as him or her.. Its the Baby or Bean... I feel so guilty and so selfish knowing people KILL to have babies of their own and here I am, pregnant first try after Mirena removal, upset that it might be a girl I feel like an idiot!!!!

Sorry for all the background info... I get carried away sometimes

 

[Misscalais]

It's a normal feeling Hun. Don't beat yourself up, you know you'll love bub when it's here
I'm probably having my 3rd boy and I know ill get that feeling if they tell me boy. Hubby and I both really want a daughter this is the very last chance for us so I think it'd be harde hearing it this time then it was with DS2. ( didn't have a preference 1st time as I want boys and girls )
The feeling will pass I guess but it is hard.

 

[Darlin65]

Yepp Totally understand. I want nothing to do with the boy baby in my belly only my son who will be in my arms in 23wks. It's hard to describe. I just want to move on from the pregnancy to him being here for me to be ok with having another boy.

 

[Kasey84]

I understand how you feel. I've always dreamed of having a daughter, but I just found out I'm having a boy. My husband is elated, but I'm feeling heartbroken at the moment. I've had crying episodes ever since. I feel so guilty for feeling this way , but just can't help it!