I have a friend... (ugh)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by NatashaZ, Jan 31, 2011.

  1. NatashaZ

    NatashaZ Well-Known Member

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    I have only told 2 close friends about my situation. One is very supportive, has a child herself, and the other... well...

    She is older than I am, single, and I truly believe she is trying to take some of the magic away from what is happening to me by taking the "I know what's best for you" stance all the damn time. I never jump to negative assumptions about people's motives, but she has been annoyingly naggy and over-protective, not to mention she has been talking down to me all the time.

    In the end, she has no way of knowing how I am feeling, and I shouldn't feel too bothered by what she says, but I hate controlling friendships and that is what I feel she is doing. Still, she is my best friend and I don't want to cut her lose because of this. I just wish she would be less involved in my decisions and not try to "school" me as much, as if she has any clue what I am experiencing. It is condenscending and irritating.
     
  2. NatashaZ

    NatashaZ Well-Known Member

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    I also have a feeling she has told another friend of ours. I can't prove it so I refuse to dwell on it, but if I can suspect it at all, then we have deeper trust issues.
     
  3. MrsKnapp

    MrsKnapp Teeny bit preggers!!

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    Some friends can be like that, i feel for you.

    You dont want to lose your friend, but im sure she probably feels like she is gonna lose you maybe? I know with my friend who has children, our friendship was never the same once she had childresn, as our lives became so different.

    Just a thought??xxx
     
  4. babyblessed

    babyblessed Well-Known Member

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    it is so hard when peoples reactions are more annoying than supportive, i would say though that she is maybe wanting to be in your situation and by "controlling" your decisions etc she feels a bit like it is her.

    i would share your pregnancy concerns more with your other friend more often so you dont feel too much presure to feel a certain way but i dont think you need to loose the friendship, just understanding that her negative reactions probably come from her feeling bad in herself...
     
  5. NatashaZ

    NatashaZ Well-Known Member

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    It is sad because we tell eachother everything, and now I feel like this is something I no longer want to share. Every time I tell her a detail or concern, she becomes very negative and tries to find faults/flaws in everything I am doing. She researches negative facts to tell me and it just stresses me out. I don't need any more reminders of how stressful this experience can be... I want more positive influences in my life than bad.
     
  6. KatieMRi

    KatieMRi Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you could ask her why whenever you tell her something, she's negative about it, she may not even realise she's doing it x
     
  7. babyblessed

    babyblessed Well-Known Member

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    it is really sad, i have a friend i have become less close to from having children, i definately wouldnt tell her concerns though, someone giving your more negatives is the last thing you need.

    maybe tell her that her negative comments are worrying you and see what happens, she might think she is being helpful, hope your friendship finds a way through :hugs:
     
  8. pinkjoelle

    pinkjoelle Well-Known Member

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    Talk to her, she may get mad at first but if she is a good friend she will reconsider her conduct. This is a happy moment. Besides if shes a good friend you will want to keep her around when the baby is there, a baby does cramp your social life but doesnt ruin it. Tell her you need her support now and ten... If she doesnt change take a break from her... you dont need her jealousy. If she ties to tell you what to do make her understand that she cannot know how you feel since shes not pregnant and not you.
     

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